Feeling cornered, 1
Lost inside, 2
Pushed around, 3
And been told lies. 4
No where to run,5
Scared to call for help,6
Eyes filled with tears,7
A small, painful yelp.8
Darkness around you,9
No more light. 10
Waging war on yourself,11
Putting up no fight. 12
Debating with yourself,13
Life or Death?14
Please, choose life. 15
Your dreams are still kept.16
Today may hurt you,17
It may make you cry. 18
It may scare you,19
It might tell lies.20
But,21
Tomorrow might help you, 22
It might give you light, 23
You might find some hope,24
And a halt will come to your fight. 25
Please don’t run, 26
Don’t hide from your pain. 27
Confront it, with confidence,28
You will win this game. 29
Those people that hurt you,30
Are nothing any more;31
Insignificant fools, 32
Evil to the core. 33
You are bright, 34
You are strong, 35
Don’t give up, 36
Don’t play along.37
Thinking Suicide?38
Don’t do it. 39
Tomorrow may be better,40
Do not quit. 41
Life is wonderful,42
A beautiful gift,43
Don’t throw it away,44
Please value it. 45
Life can be pain,46
I know what you mean.47
But don’t cry,48
Don’t look at what it seems. 49
Please think ahead,50
What might you find?51
A wonderful person,52
That makes you shine?53
I know what your feeling,54
When you say ‘I hate this ‘55
But don’t give up hope,56
Find the light that you missed.57
Life may be painful as it is now,58
But it will get better, I promise,59
So please do not frown.60
By: Robin.
A contest entry
- Poetry and short stories by UnEdibleChick.
315 points, ended April 8, 2008, 29 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - 1,000 Points for poetry!!! by Forgotten Anomaly.
1000 points, ended March 26, 2008, 58 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
comment if you read, and no mean comments please.
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Excelent!
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 2, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
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It was a bit long, but people need to see more things like this, because it's so true. Especially among teens, they often feel like everything is over already... their lives won't even really begin until graduation. How many are ready to throw it all away, because of the world they know at school, which has blinded them to the whole future?
We can't choose or control everything in life. Some of us are stuck in a position for years where we can't do anything about the bad things in our lives. Or sometimes there are things we can do, and just don't know it. But the world we know growing up, or even as a young adult, will not be able to keep us forever.
If I could say anything to those people, it would be this. One day it will be you and the world, with nothing and nobody standing in the way. Long before that, you can begin to build the kind of life you want to have for yourself, by the decisions you make now, in spite of all of the bad going on in the present. You can choose a good life by refusing despair and beginning to build your skills and passion for things you love. There will come a day, eventually, when all of the choices are yours, and there is nothing to hold you back from your dreams anymore. When you feel like it's hopeless, remember that day, and live for it. All it takes is walking forward to it, one day at a time, and not letting anything get the better of you.
Thanks for sharing this piece. It's nice to see a little hope out there! -
Uplifting yes, well written. It was however a bit long, and repetative. I like the point of this whole thing 'don't give up.' You may be right, but it didn't help me none. Thank you for entering the contest.
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Amaya! This was fantastic! You deserve to be in the finalist list! Good job! Thanks for entering Sista! Good luck. Good job, bla, bla, bla...
Keep up the fantastic work, dudette!
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This really made me feel better, if I'd read this earlier,
I would have understood.
I still do, but...
Yeah nevermind, lol.
It was so positive and truthful in many ways!
It's explaining like, "you still have your dreams, live, and you might accomplish it!" and "don't give up 'cause you might have a better chance at life!"
I like this theme and how you conveyed it within a poem.
Good work! -
This is so lifting and optimistic... I love how you also made it rhyme and sound like a letter at the same time. Tomorrow can always get better.. This reminds me of the quote
"When a storm hits, don't curse the rain, but think to yourself, "I wonder if there will be a rainbow?""
This is very much like that, and I hope you inspire many people to keep living on
to you!
<3
Ana
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Great!
Wow, this was great. Completely meaningful, powerful, and inspiring. Anyone who is feeling sad or depressed or hopeless should definitely read this because everything you've written is true.
Great job!
-jj
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Very beautiful and very inspiring.
It really helped me to feel better. Thanksies for writing this Twin. I really appreciate the feelings u express in the poem. It made me happier than i was. 
Keep penning.
Ice
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beautiful poem, i promise i'll never consider sucide again. really. you just saved my life
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I enjoyed reading this - your rhyme flowed smoothly and teens these days need a little inspirational piece to read. Today society is difficult for young people. Keep penning
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Nice short, crisp lines that snapped off the emotion like a whipcrack... That said, it was a wonderful vehicle for the varying emotions through this piece. The stoccato pace also intensified both the desperation of someone who feels suicidal, as well as the voice urgently trying to convince the other to re-think. Well done!
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Brilliant
Sad, deep, thoughtful, uplifting, haunting!
Those would be perfect descriptive words for this!
Although, you might want to change "through" to "threw".
Anyways, one thing that really struck me was that this poem suits my storyline, creepily so. All dark, despair, etc. It's beautiful work!
beginning: 5, language: 4, ending: 4.
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yikes, I already commented on this...in a reading mood today lol thanks again
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I like the way when you speak of sucide that you uplift the thought with words on a more positive line. Well expressed...thanks for sharing
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Uplifting words. Life is precious and we just have to wait a little while when we are down and out and all will come full circle. Well expressed, thanks for sharing
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YAYZ
So long but so beautiful *cries*
beginning: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I feel this way sometimes. You put it in words so perfectly. Great write.
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coolie!
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