Alice stumbled into a clearing. Lost in the forest for the last month, Alice smiled at recognition of her surroundings. A small cocoon caught her eye. Childishly, Alice spoke to the butterfly inside, trusting it would not tease her as her peers did. The cocoon swayed in the breeze and Alice followed its every flutter, all through the night.1
At dawn, a crack decorated the cocoon. Mesmerized by the bright colours appearing from the shadows, Alice helped the baby butterfly escape. Immediately, it flew off through the underbrush. Alice chased after it in fear of losing her only friend.2
Alice refused to give up. It led her through obscurity until sunlight began to filter through the forest overhang. Suddenly, Alice was on her back, staring into an unfamiliar face.3
“Alice? Is that you?” Alice nodded in confusion, fear, and relief.4
“I’ve been looking for you since you disappeared, but I never expected to find you so beautiful.” Alice blushed in disbelief. The young man offered his hand to Alice, who wondered when maturity had caught up with her.5
“Goodbye butterfly,” Alice whispered to the young creature as it flew away, “Thank you for helping me break out of my cocoon.”6
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This story had a wondrous point and I knew how it would end! That's because I'm your
Sometimes poeple (mmaaxx7)can be such assholes, 
excuse my expression but it's true! mommy.
You have matured into a beautiful butterfly and broken out of that cocoon. It is good to have help to break free and someone waiting to help you fly once your freedom is attained. Excellent metaphorial poetry my sweet. I need to read more! I know that when you do return there will be a bright beautiful butterfly fluttering about AP. Don't forget to continue to keep watch over mommy. Her eyes ain't what they used to be, and nothing else is either for that matter!
I love you,
Mommy!
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hmm not every story has a point mmaaxx7, I thought this story was interesting,
however this was chosen for a school newspaper
for a real newspaper i think another story would have been better.
But it was good
jonny -
This is a wonderful story. CONGRATULATIONS on winning first prize! Hugs, Patricia
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I like it very much
thanks for entering!
-->aref -
WOW!! You have major talent I am speechless. Great write, I saw the title and feel in love at first sight and HAD to read this, and I am so glad I did. Great imagery, and meaning, and I liked the points you were got to get across. Great job , and keep writing, wouldn’t want the world to collapse without your brilliant mind! Best of wishes and great great job !!!!!!!!!!
Don't worry, I overlooked the errors, though they're were a few I won't mention them because the story was so so great! I'm not good at editing anyways, hehe it could be perfect and I'm just stupid. Anyways, great story!!!!!!! I'll buy you're book when you're famous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 -
What the... honestly, poorly written, and what is the point?
I'm not trying to be mean, but I just don't see it...
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