The bomb exploded and sprayed rocks in every direction. Everyone tried to protect themselves from the shower of rocks. I reached for my dagger and pulled it out of its sheath. I was too late and I felt the cold blade of a knife at my throat.1
My capturer asked me one question, “You are a good fighter, so how do you do it?” I was wondering if I should tell him when another bomb went off and he lost his footing. He dropped me and I slid away.2
There was dust everywhere. There were five other people in the arena with me. Two were my teammates and three were my enemy. I entered the contest with my friends to win the prize of weapons, money, and a job.3
My skills were easily noticeable if people could see me. I was a ninja that was very stealthy and flexible. One of my team mates was a mage and the other was an archer. 4
The only thing that kept me from being perfectly unnoticeable was my hair. It was too long and a bright red color. That is why most people would call me the Flaming Killer but my real name was Yakuti.5
I saw the other team throw another bomb into the arena. The other team was made up of two warriors and an item user. An item user used mostly items to do their fighting.6
Lorei, the mage, was my best friend all the way through school. We went to a school that trained mages, warriors, ninjas, archers, etc. We would teach each other everything we knew and would tell each other all of our secrets. I saw her cast a shield spell because the bombs were throwing too much stuff in her way.7
The other member of my team, Ryan, was very skilled with a bow and a sword but he chose to be an archer over a warrior because he likes the speed of the arrows rather than the strength of the sword. He was the cutest boy I had ever seen. His eyes were a crystal blue color and his smile was as bright as the sun. He was also very muscular but didn’t show off. Every time I was around him I’d blush and become silent. 8
Lorei and Ryan both attacked at the same time. Ryan shot three arrows at the item user while Lorei stole the item user’s items so he couldn’t attack any longer. She blew them up and then giggled. She always did that when she messed up an enemy’s plan.9
I looked around but I couldn’t find the other warrior. Then I remember my captor from before. I jumped forward before he could grab me again. I was so angry I grabbed the katana my father gave me when I was seven. It had never been used so I was afraid to use it.10
I slashed a forward slash and it cut his arm. He wasn’t wearing any armor except for a helmet made of leather. He held his hand over his wound and with his wounded arm grabbed a small pole out of his pouch. He grabbed a small dart and put the pole up to his mouth. He put the dart in the pole and shot. 11
Once I noticed this swift movement I knew I was doomed. It was a poison dart and there was no way I could avoid it. I tried to and almost succeeded but the dart cut my ankle. When I touched the ground I fell over.12
The pain in my leg was too great to move. Ryan noticed what happened so left Lorei to finish off the other warrior while he dealt with my enemy. Ryan charged at the warrior that shot me. He stabbed an arrow into the wounded warrior’s leg. 13
I looked at Lorei and saw she was doing okay. She shot a ray of lightning at the item user and warrior and then . . . all went black.14
I awoke in a small room with several windows. Lorei, Ryan, and an unknown figure were standing around me. There was a bandage on my leg so I asked, “What happened?”15
The unknown figure spoke first, “You were struck by a poison dart and I treated it. My name is Dr. Jorz and I am a cleric.”16
Lorei spoke, “When I was fighting and I saw you fall I thought you died. When I noticed that you turned to look at me I was relieved.”17
Then Ryan spoke, “The doctor said that your ankle should be healed in a few days and he made a medicine of herbs that you have to take once a day.”18
I sighed when I heard I would be alright. Then I remembered the tournament. “Did we win?” I asked sheepishly.19
“No, but we did make it to the final round. We have two months to train until we can fight in the final round. The East, us, has already finished their rounds. Now we have to wait for the West, North and South to finish. “Lorei said after I asked.20
The doctor had left the room so I sat up. “Will I have to stay in the hospital at all times?” I asked. If I did I was going to be so mad because I wouldn’t get to train with my team.21
Ryan stood up and began to pace the room. He was obviously thinking. “If you do, which I don’t know if you do, then Lorei and I could train and then we could tell you what we’ve accomplished.” Lorei and I nodded.22
Dr. Jorz came back with a folder in his hand. “You won’t need to stay in the hospital during your recovery, but you have to take this medicine.” He held out a jar of what looked like to be colored water and herbs. I knew it’d be a helpful and tasty medicine if it was from the hospital.23
I stood up and grabbed the crutches that were lying against the wall. I used them to limp my way down the hall and towards the front door. I was struggling so Ryan came up to me and helped. I blushed as he did but I hid my face so he didn’t notice.24
When we got outside Lorei said she had to go home to take care of her younger siblings Ryan and I were left alone on the road.25
The two of us started talking about our pasts and then he brought up, “Who do you have a crush on?” I blushed and shrugged my shoulders.26
“It’s okay you can tell me.” He said as he patted me. When I didn’t answer he raised his eyebrow as to expect an answer.27
“I’ll tell you after we can sit down.” I replied as I began moving toward the park. Ryan followed but helped me move my way down the road.28
Once we got to the bench I set my crutches on the grass next to the bench. “So?” Ryan asked.29
Before I got the courage to tell him my face blushed so bad I’m sure he noticed. Then I decided to tell him. “Ryan, the guy I have a crush on is . . .” I stopped. 30
Ryan said, “It’s okay, I promise not to tell or laugh and then after you tell me who you like I’ll tell you who I like.” I nodded in approval.31
“Okay Ryan the guy I like is you.” I said embarrassed. I blushed really hard and he just smiled. “Are you laughing?” I asked.32
“No, no. It’s just that I like you too, Yakuti.” He replied. I was so surprised. For all the years I liked him, he liked me back.33
“What do you like about me?” I asked, wondering what caught his attention. Before he could answer, it started to rain.34
We made our way to the tavern and we found a booth in the corner away from everyone else. Then he told me why he liked me. “Well, for starters, you’re cute and I love your smile and your giggle. Combined they make the most beautiful complexion. Then you are strong, and who doesn’t like a strong partner. Finally, I love your personality and your body because together they make you the best person in the world. Yakuti, I love you, but do you love me?” 35
“Of course I do Ryan. Who wouldn’t? You’ve got the cutest smile and the most beautiful eyes in the world. You are smart, funny, and romantic which is what I love about your personality. I love that you are kind and caring. Most of all I like that you are muscular and very protective to anyone that you love.” I told him quietly.36
There was a long and deep silence so I figured we were both thinking. We both liked each other for the same reasons and for the same amount of time but always thought the other didn’t feel the same way.37
The tavern was closing so the owner told us we had to leave. Ryan and I nodded and headed through the doorway and into the pouring rain.38
As Ryan and I made our way down the street we held hands and when we were supposed to turn opposite directions we turned towards each other. I was headed to my little hut while Ryan was headed to his estate-like house.39
His family owned the school that the three of us had gone to when we were younger. His dad had more money than the rest of the village, probably. Ryan’s mother owned and produced the kingdom’s most precious, valuable, and most beautiful music. His older sister traveled the kingdom in search of rare items and then sold them and his younger brother was a tutor for all classes in the school.40
His whole family was greedy but Ryan was different which is why I like him. While his family was earning money through different professions he was training to fight for his friends and king. The rest of his family only cared about themselves but Ryan, Ryan was different, he put others first. If he could’ve died trying to save Lorei or I he probably would have just to save us.41
While his family was doing that my six sibling household was living in a small hut. We had little meat because my dad was fighting for the king and totally forget about mother. He had married another woman that lived near the king’s castle and made her glamorous. My twin brother and I were oldest and had to do all the hunting and scourging for our whole family.42
I had two younger sisters that were 2, two younger brothers that were 3 and my twin brother who was thirteen. My mom was only 27 and was pregnant with another baby. She was told that the more children you had, the wealthier you’d become. When I heard this I had thought it wasn’t entirely true but my mom believed it so I didn’t disagree with her. 43
Ryan was the first to speak after I had my flash back, “So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye.” He turned towards his road and started to leave.44
It was still raining and I wanted to go home very badly but my love forced me to say, “Wait!” Ryan turned around and walked back. “Ryan before you go I want to give you a parting gift until tomorrow.”45
He was about six inches taller than me so I had to stretch to reach him. I put my arms around him and he put his arms around me. I stretched my head up and thought about what we were going to do. I figured he was doing the same since there was a hesitation. The thinking was over and our faces got so close together that we could feel one another’s breathing. I stretched out my lips as did he and for the first time in our lives we kissed.46
His lips felt smooth but refreshing and enlightening. It felt as though no more rain was falling and that the two of us were meant to be. The whole kiss lasted about ten seconds but it seemed as though it was hours. After ten seconds we both pulled back and said to ourselves, “Wow.”47
After a very long silence we both smiled and said, “Bye.” Both of us walked home and once I couldn’t see him anymore I giggled very loudly.48
When I reached home everyone else was sleeping. I walked over to my small mattress and grabbed the small diary in my pillow. After I got my pajamas on and got settled I began to right.49
Dear Diary,50
Today was probably the best day in my life. Ryan and I revealed to each other that we both had feelings for one another. I was so happy. We told each other why we liked each other and told each other about our pasts. He told me that he liked my smile, my giggle, my laugh, my body, my independence, and my strength. I admire him so much. Right before I write to you something that felt magical happened. Before Ryan and I went our separate ways to go home we had a special moment that I will remember forever. It was raining and before he went home he hugged and then very slowly the magic grew. My lips touched his, his lips touched mine, and for the first time in our lives, we kissed. It felt amazing. I really hoped to get a reaction from him but I had no such luck. Even though I know it was a short kiss, it felt as though, while we were kissing, the world stopped and we could live however we wanted. I am going to have to end it here with one last sentence. I love Ryan. 51
I reread my diary entry and felt good with myself. I put the diary back in my pillow and drifted off to sleep. 52
Little did I know, while I was writing in my diary Ryan was writing in his. He was writing about similar and different matters as me though.53
Dear Diary,54
I loved today as it was the best day of my life so far .I know I may write that many times in my future but today was magical. When Lorei, Yakuti, and I went to the arena to fight we won but Yakuti received an injury. It was a minor poison dart injury and the doctor said she’d be alright. I was so relieved to hear this as you know, I like Yakuti. That brings me to the second part of my entry. Today after we left the hospital Lorei left Yakuti and I alone. We then started talking about our pasts and such when I brought up the subject of who she liked. To my surprise it was me. We told each other how we felt and it started to rain so we headed for the tavern. We told each other why we had feelings for the other when the tavern closed so we decided to head home. Right before we turned our separate roads something happened that changed my life forever. Before we left she said, “Let me give you something to remember until tomorrow.” It started out as a simple yet romantic hug but then our faces seemed to draw close to each other. I could feel her cold beautiful breath on my skin and then . . . our lips touched. Her lips felt soft and smooth and I hoped she loved it so. The kiss felt like it lasted forever but I know it only lasted for a short while. When we were done kissing neither one of us gave a reaction which makes me nervous that she didn’t like the kiss well. Well before I stop writing I am going to say, I love Yakuti and I really hope she feels the same way about me. 55
I was asleep when the rest of my family woke up. I guessed I got home really late because my mom didn’t normally go to bed until late and when I got home the night of the kiss my mom was asleep.56
My sister’s woke me up by pulling my hair. I swore I lost seven strands of hair and then I noticed that my pillow felt different. I pushed my sisters away and checked to see if my diary was in my pillow. It wasn’t there so I checked other possible places. I then noticed that it was in a hole in my mattress underneath my pillow. 57
I sighed and grabbed my gear to train. I put some stuff in a pack and had breakfast, which was a normal wheat piece of bread with an egg and sometimes, when we’re luck, bacon or ham. Today we didn’t have any meat. 58
I sighed as I said good bye to my family and walked out the door. With my red hair flowing behind me I walked towards town. I met up with Lorei half-way there and she asked me what Ryan and I did.59
I decided to lie so I said, “We just talked, nothing special.” I hated lying but in this situation I had to sol I did. I was so nervous that Lorei might find out. 60
When we got to the fork that led to town Lorei and I waited for Ryan. After Ryan arrived we walked into town. There were people staring at us but we didn’t mind. Some people were cheering for us after the victory in the arena yesterday but most people just stared.61
Ryan, Lorei, and I walked into the park and Lorei sat on the bench. Ryan and I walked to the pond so Lorei came over to see what was going on. 62
When I looked at Ryan he had the same look in his eye that he had the night before. We hugged each other and then slowly kissed again. This time it really felt like it lasted forever.
A contest entry
- Whichcraft Contest for Kids - 14 and under by whichcraft.
200 points, ended March 25, 2008, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - L.O.V.E. by Crying Angel Eyes.
100 points, ended March 12, 2008, 39 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Great Writing Contest - Great Comments by checkmate-.
175 points, ended April 1, 2008, 32 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Mushhhy =) by Melli.
175 points, ended March 29, 2008, 14 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
i really enjoyed this story
you have a pretty unique style and im in love with it
-
Entertaining.
p41 'trying to save Lorei or me, he probably would just to save us.', p44 'flashback', p49 'began to write.',
I think a little more dialogue between your characters would help the flow of the story. It reads pretty well and is pretty well written. Not my usual fare, but I enjoyed reading this story.
Welcome to Storywrite.
Andy

-
This story is very heartfelt, and I love it. The romance and surprise between Ryan and the main character is so cool. I hope there is another installment! I only have two suggested revisions:
1. "Okay Ryan the guy I like is you." Maybe this should be "Ok. Ryan, the guy I like is you."
2. "I was so relieved to hear this as you know, I live Yakuti." Maybe this could be "I was so relieved to hear this because, as you know, I like Yakuti.
This story is extremely good. Thanks for entering, good luck, and keep writing!
~kittyluvr -
Uhm.
Well, I didn't read the whole thing and this is why: It's was all together. Do you think you could space out your paragraphs. there's a check box thingy when you submit story. go to edit story and check it and anyways... I skimmed the story. so much better than your other two (the other two wern't bad!) and it's good.
Nice job.
KEEP.WRITING.
-Melli<33 -
action pact love story i love it
-
A nice active piece of writing. It definitely fits the criteria for the contest. Good luck on that that
.
I think you have been writing for a while
, or perhaps it’s an inborn talent.
You have good control over the story, your characters are colorful and life-like, the dialogue mixes well with the activity and the plot flows smoothly.
Welcome to SW, I’m certain you will quickly make a lot of new friends here. Meanwhile if you need any help ask.
Geri
1 - 6 of 6






