Innocent Kisses

On reflection, it was clear how it all began. However, at the time, none knew exactly how the whole thing started, nor could they have predicted how it ended.1

The holiday entertainment the group of school friends arranged that fateful day had been part of a carefully orchestrated plan. First on the schedule of experiences, they were to visit the beach, and the day that dawned on them had been perfect. Crystal blue skies, a hint of breeze that blew in from the north, and tiny, fluffy marshmallow clouds that hovered on the horizon.2

Of course, the girls had the perfect opportunity to parade their newest swimmers. Gillian had bought a gorgeous tank-and-boyleg ensemble; the indeterminate shade somewhere between aquamarine and turquoise. Nicola sported a brilliant red bikini, the boys whistling as she coyly removed her wrap and reclined on her towel. With some cajoling, Hannah revealed the bikini top and board shorts she preferred. 3

Brazenly, the four boys, Josh, Chris, David and Grant, had jeered each other on as to who could be out of their clothes and into the water quicker. After some ludicrous tomfoolery, scattered sand and a wedgie, the boys disappeared into the water. The girls smirked at their receding backs, before they commenced a heated discussion over the options for the remainder of the day.4

As it was, Mother Nature had dashed all their well-laid plans. Later in the day, the cotton-ball clouds had converged into a blanket which covered most of the blue, and were now tinted an ominous grey. A scramble ensued when the sky grumbled its intent; fat drops fell as the girls hurried to collect their belongings. The rain had given the boys invitation to lark, and the girls rolled their eyes as the boys splashed in puddles, skimmed rocks across the water, and scrawled their names in wet sand.5

Lightening had provided the necessary incentive to hasten, the boys hooting in challenge at the heavens as a flare of light struck out at sea. Nevertheless, they did in the end heed the incessantly anxious concern of Hannah, and tramped their way through the persistent downpour towards their holiday accommodation.6

They had arrived thoroughly soaked; tepid water dripping off their hair and noses, towels and bags mushy with wetness. Towels and swimmers had been dumped, unceremoniously, on the bathroom floor, and showers hastily taken to rinse sand and dirt from their bodies.7

When not even a couple of hours had passed since their convoluted passage from the beach and entering their apartment, and the boys had grown bored. The rain had set in by that stage, and everyone was getting stir-crazy.8

Chris had been the first to suggest a game of sorts. A search of the unit had revealed an incomplete pack of cards, half a chess set and the third a bottle of rum left over from the huge Schoolies party they’d been to, two nights previous. Chris had grinned, and by some unknown male method of communication, Josh piped up, “Oh yeah!” he whooped, “Spin-the-bottle!”9

The girls had groaned as one. Nicola piped up, “But I don’t want to be kissing someone else’s boyfriend – you know how much shit that’ll cause?”10

Chris smirked. “We change the rules – anything that happens here, stays here… and… ” he paused dramatically, “anybody can kiss anybody. No kiss - and you take a penalty.” He shook the bottle and everybody understood what that penalty entailed.11

After furniture had been shifted, the group flopped to the floor; arranged in a circle of interchanging gender. The first two rounds resulted in the usual frivolity for a game of that type – Grant had ended up with a demure kiss from Nicola, and Hannah had received one graciously from David.12

Several rounds had passed, and alcohol consumed, when Nicola spun the bottle. When it stopped, it had landed pointed at her best friend Gillian. Pausing a moment too long, the boys jeered and clapped, teasing both girls. Nicola had blushed and tore her gaze away from her friend's flushed face.13

Gillian had crawled across the floor to her, touching her knee lightly. She rested back on her heels, and had brushed her other hand over Nicola’s face, the tips of her fingers caressing her lips. Nicola had felt the blush rise further up her cheeks, her lips burning.14

And that was when it happened. Nicola closed her eyes, leant forward and kissed her friend passionately on the lips. They tasted sweet; like freshly picked fruit. Nicola’s eyes had flown open, her lips still locked to her friends. She pulled back, surprised. Touching her swollen lips with tentative fingers, she stared at the desire reflected in Gillian’s face.15

She hadn’t meant to kiss her best friend, but damn, it had felt good.16

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1 - 7 of 7
  • Good clear writing, and visible characters make for an easy read.

    Well, looks like this spring break or ‘Whatever’ is headed for trouble .

    Good clear writing, and visible characters make for an easy read.

    The descriptions were well done; you used some delightful analogy, hints of humor and ended with a questionable romantic urge.

    I will definitely watch for more of this story.

    Check out the paragraph about the girls bathing attire. I think you are missing one. Never mind there are only three girls
    Four boys now two girls are gay --you are mean.

    Some other things to check:

    The holiday entertainment the group of school friends a (stray a) arranged (for that) fateful day had been part of a carefully orchestrated plan.

    The girls smirked at their receding backs, before they had (don’t need had) commenced a heated discussion over the options for the remainder of the day.4

    . Later in the day, the cotton-ball clouds had converged into a blanket which covered most of the blue, and where (were) now tinted an ominous grey.

    Several rounds had passed, and alcohol consumed, when Nicola span (spun) the bottle,

    . Nicola had blushed and tore her gaze away from her friends (friend’s) flushed face.13

    Nice writing Geri


    • tallblondie Greeters member
      April 8
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the picks - I haven't even looked at this story for a month - so there was some liberal headslapping when I realised there were not only the errors you picked up, but a couple more...
      Anyway... all fixed.

  • Cute story.

    It reminds me of similar times in school, except for the ending.
    That part never happened with us. -chuckles-

    The beginning sounds like a typical summer day around here. I live at the beach and it's often like that. Nice in the morning and rain in the afternoon. Nice imagery and descriptions throughout.

    So will the story continue? Sounds like it could be interesting.
    Greg


  • beezy92
    March 11
    Edit | Reply

    haha

    funny ending. It wasn't a bad write. The vocabulary near the beginning was very big and grandeur to me, but that's not a bad thing. Not exactly what I was looknig for, but not a bad thing. I did love the imagery. And the scenes that you described...it made a good feeling. I love the beach! Thanks for entering and good luck in hte contest!


  • Rosemary silver member
    March 10

    Edit | Reply

    Good start to a story

    The ending left endless possibilities of which direction the story might go. To make it a fuller story you might want to add descriptions of the boys. By adding dialog you could develop each characters personality. Keep writing


  • anxiously D
    March 10

    Edit | Reply
    Simply lovely. You had some really wonderful description in there, like how you described the clouds. I really adored paragraph 14 - it just painted such a nice image. This was a great piece and perfect length. Nice work :0)


  • carrot
    March 8

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. When it started, I didn't think it was going to turn out like that. Nice little twist there at the end. I really liked the entire story. It ended just as well as it started and it kept me engaged the entire time. Thank you for entering. =]

1 - 7 of 7