BoLLoCkS!!!!!

LooKiNg BaCk i ShOuLd HaVe DiD iT wHeN iT WaSn't RaInInG.1

sEVeRaL BeeRs DoWNwINd Of BeInG sOBEr i DeCiDeD It WaS a GooD IDeA To VeNt My fRuStRAtiOns At hAViNg My hOuSe fLooDeD, wHiCh ReSuLtEd In WrEcKeD wAllS, FuRnItUrE, oNe DeAd dOG, aNd My StAsH Of HaSh PlAnTs FlOaTinG OuT Of ThE BaSeMEnT DoWN tHe HiLL To tHe cOp ShOp. FoR pERsOnAL uSe, HoNeSt GuV!2

sO ThErE i WaS pISSed As A fARt In tHE CaRpARK of my LoCAl, wItH WeLL-wIshErs All ArOund (mOstLy WiTH bRoLLyS)- ReADY tO rAnT.3

i TuRnEd My HeAd tO ThE HEaVEns - AnD sCReAmED InTO ThE RaIn.4

"gOd - yOUre JUsT A cunt!"5

SuRElY It WaS jUsT cOiNcIdEnCe tHAt ThE lIgHtNiNg ChOsE ThErE AnD tHeN TO sTRiKE? mIssEd All ThE mEtAL bRoLLYs AnD ThE LiGhTNiNG rOD In ThE cHuRcH. aLL tHE bIG TrEEs ANd MeTaL cARs.6

aNd LiT Me uP lIkE A fUcKiNG XmAS tREe!7

aNYWaYS, OnCe All tHe sKiN gRaFtS TaKe i'vE GoT a CoUrT hEaRiNg DuE. hOpEfUllY tHeY'll DeCiDe ThAt i'vE sUffErEd EnOuGh.8

sTiLL - i HeAr tHeY hAD a bUmPer tUrN-oUt To cHUrcH lASt sUnDaY.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • darthnider
    October 29
    Edit | Reply
    This made me go "ha!"


  • Miss Hanako Cullen
    March 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very heartbreaking and yet SO creative!! This was a great way to describe the broken heart, and also by using the off set CAPS. GREAT JOB!!

  • Quank
    March 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your heartbreaking story inspired me to write one of my own. Ha! Hilarious, especially the first and last lines.

  • Mazzon
    March 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Heh. A hilarious story, as long as it happens to someone else. Good luck in the contest.