"What the fuck are you looking at?" she hissed.1
The stranger's eyes darted in the opposite direction as he scurried away. 2
It just happened to be a day full of sunshine. Still she kicked at the rocks as they seemed to taunt her. I hate this place. As the young girl wandered down the now empty street, she couldn't help but feel a bit lonely. A quiet luxury car floated by. A single small white cloud seemed to be leading her in the right direction. It wouldn't be much furthur now. 3
The red hand blinked a few more times, as she impatiently lit another cigarrette. It wasn't a good plan, or even a great one. It was downright stupid. She looked back. He was coming. The old truck with chipped red paint was noisily making its way towards the intersection. The traffic light changed, and she pressed forward. She heard it, but it didn't register for a moment. That loud obnoxious honking. She'd heard it before and could recognize it anywhere. He was angry with her. Anyone would normally be afraid, but he, no he was not. Drunken and angered beyond the boiling point, he would get her this time. 4
She made her way safely across the parking lot as the truck barreled it's way towards her and slid to a stop. She knew what she came here for. She would not run away this time. She stopped, turned and aimed the beretta. The sound rang in her ears, bouncing from one ear to the other. She couldn't see her own extended arm, only the sight of him falling to his knees. Everything was quiet, though she saw a woman's mouth screaming. She turned away slowly, while dropping the gun. And as she walked on, the sound of sirens drew near. But she was no longer afraid.5
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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This is great, it's really impressive what you can do with so few words
I especially like the vagueness of WHY this is happening. You just go straight to the action, right to the heart of the story. Good job
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awesome piece of work
I think it was one of the shortest
stories I have ever read--
yet..one of the best.
awesome
and the conclusion was not one you might have
readily expected...
good job!!!
~jag~ -
This was probably the shortest story I have ever read. Still, it was actually good at the same time. It had a beginning, a middle, and an end. It also had a conflict, an escalation, and a resolution. This was good. I liked it because personally I can't seem to master the idea of writing a story in just about four paragraphs. I always write them to be at least ten pages or more. Once my mind begins developing a plot, it just sort of happens. I currently have a 30 completed pages that haven't even scratched the surface of my "inner vision", damn I could really use some pointers on how to write as short and sweet as this.
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