"Have some," He says, holding the bar of squared chocolate out to me as he swallows the missing corner.1
"Nah, thanks," I wave it away casually as we walk side-by-side down Madison on our way back to the hotel from dinner. Accompanying the gesture by saying 'have some' is purely indicative of his assumption that I won't accept. Unless encouraged by accompanying words, perhaps he figures, his gesture will be met with refusal. He knows this, but asks anyway probably just in case I've magically changed my mind. I wish I could.2
"C'mooonnnn," He taunts playfully, pushing the candy towards my lips with a laugh.3
"Really, I'm fine." I say distractedly with minimal annoyance. We'd eaten not more than an hour ago. I wasn't hungry at all. I put an arm around him in a peace-keeping gesture. Today had been a beautiful, but tiring day.4
"Taylor, it's chocolate," He responds with a little pout. He hugs me briefly and follows it with a suggestive whisper, "...an aphrodisiac?"5
I grin helplessly with the implication of his words and the little shiver his voice spreads over my skin, but again I refuse.6
He's insistent, and bites a tiny square into two halves, holding one out to me.7
It's not that I don't like chocolate. I do. The thick, viscous, bitter taste of dark chocolate is recalled on my tongue from years past as I write this. But I don't buy it, and I definitely don't eat it, and as I do nothing to accept his offer of a mangled, half-square of chocolate that's touched his teeth, he grumbles something halfway playful sounding, halfway serious.8
"You just can't, can you."9
I say something--anything--to try to assuage the situation...but he's right. I can't touch it.10
"Doesn't Dove make soap?" I ask trying to sound amused but come off as sullen in the hopes of a subject change.11
To that he says nothing, and puts the chocolate into his mouth returning his gaze ahead as we approach our hotel.12
Upstairs, it's like it never happened. He's forgiven me, though he would hardly consider it that. That's probably how we can exist together like we have for so long. He's understanding and supportive in ways a lot of people wouldn't be. Whether he does it because it comes naturally or because he loves me, I can't tell. Either way, for this reason--among all the others--I love him.13
Author notes
I was feeling inspired to write in reflection...so there you have it, an autobiographical moment. Maybe I'll write more, maybe not.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Your writing has grace, it's that smooth style I've always enjoyed reading but can never use in my own writing. My language is too course or choppy, and I'm more about providing blanks than I am filling them in. You're the total opposite, and you have real talent. I shouldn't even compare my style to yours
I don't have any constructive critisism to offer, but I hope you write more.
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Thank you very much! Sorry it's taken me so long to reply. I really appreciate your comment.
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Wow... There are two main reasons why this is so amazing. The first reason is just how much information is contained within a lot of the sentences, but it's never even close to too much. The sentences are in the best way simple and being able to write that way is, to me, a very treasured talent in writing because I don't see it enough in other stories.
The best examples of your genius with this one come in the entirety of these two sentences:
'"Nah, thanks," I wave it away casually...'
and
'I grin helplessly with the implication...'
The second reason, and this one also applied to your On Unfairness story, has to do with your ability with first person POV. I get sick of first person very easily because on FP every single gay story is in first person and there are a lot. I know it can be easier to write instead of in third but sometimes I've just had enough of it. Well, what you seem to be able to do with first person is write it in a way that feels like it's in third and actually that sort of tricked me with On Fairness, too. I had to look back when I was writing my review to make sure it even was first. So basically, while most peoples' first person stories get old and stale very easily, your stories are always fresh and simply a pleasure to read.
I liked how this one ended, too. :0)
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Dearest D,
Ok, the point of view thing blew my mind. That might be the most awesome compliment I've ever received...even surpassing the genius remark. (I had to laugh at that, but I am totally flattered.) And finally, maybe, a resolved piece in the end! It would be the first one in a while I think.
Thank you. Your words mean everything.
Always, Tay -
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Aw I'm so happy to hear that.
Now that I look at that review though there is a weird sentence in there that doesn't sound like how I meant it... Or maybe I'm just thinking on it too much o.o -
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Ahaha.
I think I know what you meant.
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Wahhhh... woe is me.
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