THE HILLS1
The hills, what a fond memory. I remember the good and the bad of the hills,The ups and downs, but most of all I remember the hills dieing in all of there once spectacular glory. The hills were the biggest I had ever made and they provided some of the best dirt jumping ever. The hills are now a fond memory, never to be used again. 2
I remember so well that day at the hills. I had just landed the best no footer of the day when a friend let out a loud hooray he was announcing that he saw something in the clearing. Now I find it my duty to tell that we knew we were trespassing on privet property. We had there for previously decided on a ridiculous word that would be used if someone saw something they shouldn’t see. We decided to make this word when it became clear that the owner of the land did not want us there. 3
After Josh called a hooray we all started to look in the clearing and saw a man with, not one but, two dogs. At that point we knew all secrecy was gone and I yelled run we hoped on our bikes and took off on the trail that we had used so many times its every turn was burred in our memory. I took a hard right and found my self home free until I saw the waiting cop car. When he flipped on his lights I knew he wanted me so I stopped and submitted to his commands.4
Two hours after being taken to the police station me and my fellow riders found ourselves in the same room. Having seen this scenario played out we didn’t speak a word. When the arresting officer walked in he announced that there was a robber in the house of the man whose land we were trespassing on that he proclaimed that we were to leave and get home. Me not willing to get pinned with a crime I did not commit I asked why we were being let go the officer stated that the burglars were caught. He added as we walked out of the room that we were never to set a foot on the old mans land.5
When me and my friends left the station we knew our time was not over our parents were waiting outside. The hills were officially dead and one of my friends, while being grounded, moved out of state and could not speak with us till after he was off punishment. We all kind of went our separate ways. I to this day have not found a place that has the same potential of happiness. The hills if only there were a new set of hills. Than maybe I could manage to get my friends bake together and be bake to the times 6
The hills what a memory and I wouldn’t change a thing that happened there. 7
Author notes
i wrote this as a way to tell something i now find to be vare funny
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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great story. this acutally reminds me of the time that you and me went 4 wheeling on the hills but it was much different.
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agree ing with shadowofasoul.
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Well, I really liked the story, it was defiantly interesting. But I do have to agree with shadowofasoul, there where a lot of run on and grammar problems. I also had a hard time finding the connection to insanity. Better luck next time, sorry my friend
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I had a lot of trouble finding the point of this story, or even staying focused. I personally found the following very distracting: grammar (me and my friends should be my friends and I), punctuation (the old mans land should have an apostrophe, and "The hills if only there were a new set of hills" is a fragment), and your spelling (bake instead of back, privet instead of private, and in your comment, vare instead of very, dieing instead of dying, etc.) Also I had a hard time seeing how this story was relevant to the prompt of insanity.
My suggestion would be to proofread your work more carefully. Also, I have found that reading your story out loud can help you pinpoint errors in grammar etc. Good luck, and good start.
Edited on Dec 15, 5:07 p.m. because 'x'.



