When the Sun Sets

The sun was starting to set, vibrant streaks of pink and purple paved the sky. Two children stood there, under a beginning to light street lamp, holding hands, watching the natural phenomenon that fell before them. Their heads were twisted upwards, then the two’s eyes met for a brief second. One looking at them could tell that they both blushed at that instance in time, before looking back up at the sky. They were probably no older than ten years old, but at ten, even they knew that what they had may either make or break them. That it was childish, but it was the purest form of love in the world.1

The girl’s hair was long, red, almost touching her waist. It was her proudest possession, and she even had green eyes to fit. A hot pink sundress with white and purple polka dots fell around to her knees, loosely fitting her developing form. Right then, with the boy’s hand in her’s, her stomach began to flip, her heart was pounding. Never before had she felt this way, never before.2

The boy’s dark hair hung midway on his forehead, but nowhere near a bowl cut. Especially with his mother believing that such a haircut was tacky. At least to her standards, it was. He had on a faded jean jacket, black shirt, and jeans to match. He thought that he was on top of the world. A small grin was escaping his lips, his brown eyes were sparkling.3

As quickly as the sun began to set, the moon had risen. A dark blanket covered the sky and white lights shined from it. “I’ve got to get home, Tyler,” the little girl managed to say after they stood there for a few minutes, staring longingly at the stars. “Bye!” she muttered quickly before her small feet carried her quickly away.4

Tyler Randenson stood there, he didn’t know how long, but he felt his hands shaking. The butterflies in his stomach were starting to settle though. His mother, as over – protective as she was, was probably wrecking her nerves over her son. Even at ten, he knew that, but he stayed there, past his curfew. He was only ten, but he couldn’t get his mind off of her. His mind stayed locked on Annaliese Fields, and her memory would never leave, not in a million years.5

It was different though now, six years later, hands shoved deep into his pockets. How many times in his life had Tyler Randenson stood under that exact same street lamp on the sidewalk? How many girls had he brought there to impress, to share that same feeling that he shared with his first crush, so many years ago? He hardly felt his heart pump the same way. He still knew her, Annaliese Fields, she was a skateboarder now. Her friends were bad influences, they all did drugs, they all partied on the weekends. Not that he was invited. To many, Tyler was one of the best looking boys in the whole junior class. However, he was extremely smart, a good kid, completely straight – edge. Maybe it was the way he was brought up, his mother was very strict. He liked the lifestyle though. He was rich, happy, and he knew he would be successful. He had the option to graduate by the end of this year, had gotten into Yale Law School. Everything was going good for him. The girlfriends he did have were similar to him, they were all good kids, most of them, anyways. 6

Annaliese Fields was a sweet, gentle, but forgotten memory that lingered constantly in his mind, but always slipped away. Tyler had more important things to do, then think about girl. Like school, but he still found himself sinking down into a newly added park bench under that street lamp. It was added a year or so ago. He didn’t care though, but it was perfect for watching the sunsets, the stars, and convenient if you wanted to slip in a first kiss. Ha, there was a funny though. First kisses, a memory Tyler held dear. It was when he was fourteen, under the same street lamp. No, it wasn’t Annaliese, but a girl named Tiffany Vanderlink. Tiffany was a pretty, shy, smart brunette who said stupid things around guys she liked. Tyler had shown her the sunset; he knew that no one in the world could get a better view then under that street lamp. She had been rambling on about nothing, and he couldn’t help himself. In a quick stoop, he gently grabbed the back of her hair and pulled her head into his. At first, it went fine, their lips touched for a few seconds, until Tiffany began to laugh. She had no clue why, but she quickly bounced up and ran away. It was perhaps one of the funniest moments of Tyler Randenson’s life.7

Tyler sighed, it was autumn, and the air was starting to turn cold. He could almost see his breathe as he exhaled out. He turned his head for a second, now that the sky turned black, in the distance he saw a silhouette and a small red ember, and a few that fell to the ground. Tyler squinted, but didn’t have to for long as the figure moved closer to him. Her dark hair still had streaks of its original red color in it, it was cut, shoulder length. A cigarette to her lips, an I – Pod in her back pocket, earphones in her ears. She was humming along slightly to the song, stepping in tune. Then, her and Tyler’s eyes locked. She placed her cigarette in her lips, it sat there for a second while she pulled an ear piece out of her ear. She laughed slightly, removing the cigarette from her lips and throwing it onto the ground, then stepping on it to pull it out. As she laughed, a trail of smoke escaped her lips.8

“No, friggin’ way,” she snickered, “Tyler Randenson. Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you out here this late, much less alone.” She walked over, motioned with her hand for him to scoot over then sat down next to him.9

“Yeah,” he muttered, “imagine that, me, out here, at, seven at night.”10

“Isn’t seven a little late for you?” she teased. “Past your curfew?”11

“I know,” Tyler laughed, shaking his head and looking down at his hands in his lap. His dark hair was now a bit shaggy; it hung just a little above his eyes. He turned his head and looked at her. “I’m not a bad kid like you, Anna.”12

She looked up at the sky and sighed, relaxing on the bench, leaning back and lifting her arms up into the air. “I know, I’m terrible, right? Terrible influence, terrible person, but I blame others for my problems. That’s terrible in itself, correct? Whatever, I just don’t care anymore.” She inhaled deeply for a second, as Tyler didn’t reply. Did he even want to know what she meant? He hadn’t talked to her in years. “Remember this place? We stood here, and the sky was bright, gorgeous?”13

How could he forget? Of course he remembered. He just shook his head. He also remembered that they stopped meeting up under the street lamp when her parents divorced when she was twelve. She was never the same after that, and she completely changed when her mother re – married when she was only fourteen. He never inquired why she stopped meeting him, he never said anything. He was okay that she forgot him.14

“I wish,” she said softly, “that you would’ve come over more when we were younger. You were my best friend, Tyler. I really needed you.”15

A pain stabbed him in the heart, but he turned his head. “Sorry,” he muttered.16

“For being some ‘prince charming,’” she even used air quotes. “You still act like every other guy out there.” She rolled her eyes, “For future reference, when a girl stops showing up, she wants you to come to her.” Then she got up and began to walk away.17

“Wait!” Tyler said when she was halfway down the street. “Like now? Do you want me to come after you now? Now that you’re walking away, do you want me to come after you?”18

She turned around and shouted out, her arms in a shrug. “I don’t know, Tyler. You tell me! I’m just the messenger.”19

He didn’t go after her though. He let her walk away, and so did he. He walked away, and those were the only words they exchanged for a at least five months. Baseball seasoned started, it was really just a hobby for Tyler, something he was naturally good at, but never pursued. Most the other guys on his varsity team were dead set on it, but Tyler didn’t care. It just helped him relieve the stress of his family and school.20

He noticed though, out there, in the field or getting up to bat, that he always saw Annaliese in the crowds. She’d cheer him on, specifically. At first, he was confused, but he remembered her under the street lamp that one night, and he thought that she may be interested in repairing their once, good friendship.21

“Tyler,” she said one afternoon after a game. “hey. You’re great, you know? You should be a professional. Tyler Randenson, up in lights!”22

“Yeah,” he scoffed, “I don’t know.” He swallowed a lump in his throat. He didn’t like Annaliese, but he said it out of pity. “Want to go to the movies? I don’t have homework tonight and it’s a Friday and… well, want to go?”23

Annaliese looked at him for a second. “Are you asking me on a date, Tyler?” she giggled. “Yeah, I’ll go.”24

The movie was a bit awkward, it was the first time four years that they ever spent time together, much less alone. They were so different. Her, struggling to just stay off the streets, her mother and step – dad were threatening to kick her out, at least those were the rumors. Tyler on the other hand, he was the perfect kid, the kid that parents just dream about having. During the movie, Tyler bought her popcorn that she refused to eat. She didn’t want him spending money on him. It made him laugh a bit, but he had bought it for her, so it went untouched. What a waste of four dollars and twenty five cents.25

After the movie, they decided to stay and hang around the movie theatre. Annaliese sat there, on the curb, flicking at rocks with fingers, nails colored in with black sharpie marker. “I’m not a virgin,” she said out of the blue.26

Tyler raised an eyebrow, it was a bit random. “Okay…” he trailed off.27

“Are you?” she asked.28

“Why does it matter?”29

“Well, because,” she stated, “you know, just curious.”30

“I don’t think it’s any of your business.” Which was, honestly, the truth, right?31

“You’re totally a virgin. You’d be bragging about it right now if you weren’t.”32

“Wait,” Tyler said, a bit annoyed, “I don’t understand you, Anna. You don’t speak to me for four years. We run into each other in our neighborhood and then, you start stalking my baseball games and you just want to be friends again.”33

“You’re the one who asked me to the movies.”34

“Yes, I did! Only, though, because I wanted to know what was up with you! What do you want from me, because I really don’t want to be your latest conquest, Anna! The whole school knows you’re not a virgin, the whole school knows I am! Why are you coming after me? What are your intentions? What do you want, Anna?”35

Annaliese’s face was red, her eyes looked hurt, and she was taken completely by surprise, anyone could see that. She shook her head. “Whatever Tyler, you right? Okay. Things are so screwed up right now. Alright? I’m hurt. I feel like life isn’t worth it anymore. You know what, Tyler? That when I think back on everything in my life. The memories involving you when I was younger were the best. I cried myself to sleep, wondering why you never came back for me. I needed you. I was just hoping that maybe you were the same Tyler I remembered, that’s all.” She inhaled deeply and reached into her purse for her car keys, “I’ll just go. It’s fine…” She began to walk off, but Tyler reached out to her shoulder. Annaliese spun around and Tyler leaned in and kissed her, soft, gentle, but it also had a tint of anger to it.36

After the kiss Tyler whispered into her ear, “This time, I won’t let you leave.” Something about that night, the way he had felt the same. He was hurt that she had never been there, the way her eyes looked so hurt. Not just when he confronted her, but when she stood in front of him under the street lamp, in the movies. Her eyes, betrayed her emotions. They showed signs of betray and hurt.37

Annaliese looked into his eyes, she ruffled his hair with her hand. “Okay,” she muttered, “I won’t leave.”38

Tyler wouldn’t be graduating school his junior year, he was going to stay. Yale would be waiting next year. Annaliese’s eyes no longer showed tremendous signs of hurt, she eve dyed her hair back to its original shade of red. At first, everyone was shocked, how could this bad influence and soon to be valedictorian be going out? Simple, they each had what the other one lacked.39

The start of the summer was full of bliss. Tyler and Annaliese were falling quickly in love. Against, Tyler’s mother’s wishes, of course, she felt that Annaliese was nothing but trouble. Tyler knew though, that trouble was all Annaliese knew, and trouble just begets trouble. 40

However, Tyler also knew that Annaliese did nothing but lie to him. She said she quit drugs, but she didn’t. She was even cheating on him, but she always kept running back to Tyler. Tyler knew she was a broken soul, and he kept up with her. Through her struggles and trials, he stayed there with her. He always let her come back him. After all, he loved her. They fought constantly, but he didn’t mind. She’d run off, but he’d let her return.41

“I’m me, Tyler,” she’d always say, “I’m sorry if I hurt you, and I blame myself. You won’t be able to change me, no matter how much of a good kid you are. I’m me, I’m me, I’m me. I make mistakes, I’m me.” Then she’d always break down into tears and run away from him. She’d always be drunk the next day.42

He longed to know what was wrong with her. Something was not right, she had this big, thick, brick wall built up around her. She hid more secrets than she should have. At seventeen, no one deserved the anger and guilt she appeared to be going through. One day, finally, he decided that he would ask her. He would be her comfort and shoulder to lean on. 43

“Meet me under the street lamp,” he had told her. 44

She showed and he put his arm around her. “What’s wrong with you?”45

“Wrong with me?” she laughed. “Whatever do you mean?”46

“I don’t mean now, I mean, in your life. What’s eating away at the pretty little heart of your’s?” he said, softly poking her nose. 47

She half – smiled and looked away from him. “You’ll judge me,” she breathed. 48

“I would never do that. No matter what’s wrong with you. I love you, and love knows no bounds. Love will never let me judge you.” It was the first time he had admitted, even said such a thing. She was obviously taken aback. She stared at him.49

“Is that true, Tyler?” she whispered, “You love me?”50

“Yes,” he laughed, relieved, “a thousand times yes. I’ve never meant it more. These past few months, I love you.”51

“Are you… sure?” Annaliese had more than heard those words, a lot of times. Yet, they always turned out to be lies. How could she believe him now? Did it make a difference that he was truly sincere? Didn’t people always get hurt in the end, anyways? He’d surely take it all back, later!52

“Yes,” he replied, “I would never say it, unless I knew, believe me, I know.”53

Tears welled up in Annaliese’s face. Her body shook slightly, but she continued to look away. Tyler turned her face towards his and took his thumb and lightly brushed away the forming tears that welled in her eyes. “You have nothing to hide from me,” he whispered and kissed her cheek, “but if you don’t want to say anything, you don’t have to.” He took a loose strand of hair and placed it behind her ear.54

Annaliese blushed, she got up quickly. “Thanks Tyler.” She looked him in the eye, for a moment, her eyes sparkled, but lost their color. The way she inhaled, made Tyler think that for a second, her heart stopped, she shook, and she walked away.55

Perhaps it was too much for her to handle, Tyler meant every word that came out of his mouth though. It didn’t matter how much she had lied or cheated to him. She needed the love he offered, no matter how troubled she was, whatever troubles that she managed to have. He had grown to love her through thick and thin. He even loved her when they were little, he just didn’t know what had happened between now and then. Tyler didn’t even get his answer on what was bothering her, his dear sweet, Annaliese.56

He began to get up, when he heard footsteps. He turned around. “Tyler,” came the soft words. “if you want to know what’s wrong…” She sighed and looked away briefly, but their eyes met again moments later. “You won’t judge me?” her voice shook but Tyler looked into her eyes and just nodded.57

“How could I judge the most perfect girl in the world?” 58

The street lamp cast a ray of light on her face that showed her blushing slightly, but her face soon turned serious. She grabbed Tyler’s hands, and looked him in the eyes. “How can you say that, Tyler? How can you think I’m perfect, after the way I’ve treated you?”59

“It doesn’t matter, what you’ve done,” he began, “because the way you are, who you are, what you do… it shows me that you feel you have no other choice. You’re just hurt; you don’t know who to trust. I know differently though, you’re better than that and I know, that to me, you’re perfect.”60

“You really think that?” She breathed in quickly, “Maybe you are as perfect as everyone thinks you are.”61

“Only as perfect as you are,” Tyler smiled at her, whether she could see it through the darkness and faint light. She could feel it though, regardless.62

“Tyler,” she said quickly, running her words together, “my step – father beats me. He gets drunk; he has, for a long time. I make myself vulnerable, because I just want to protect my mother and sisters. They have no idea. They just think I’m being rebellious…” her voice trailed off and she looked up at the sky, “I’m just searching. For something better, and to be serious with you, I just wanted to prove everyone and find fault in you, Tyler. Why? Well, because no matter how great a guy seems, he’s not.” Her voice was quivering.63

Tyler looked down, at the cracks in the sidewalk. That hurt a bit, but it was understandable. She was hurt, but she found out differently.64

“You’re not that kind of guy, Tyler. You’re not mean, or hurtful. I just, when my dad left, it was destructive. Then, she went out and found a guy, worse than my father. I want the best for her though, so I put myself there. I hurt myself, for her, for my sisters. Sometimes I feel like I can’t take it anymore. I met you, and I was shocked, surprised at myself.” Annaliese was breathing heavily now.65

Tyler pulled her close to him and held her tightly. “It’s okay, you need to speak up, you have to say something.”66

“I plan on it, Tyler,” she said gently as he stroked her hair. “I need to tell you something, something I’ve put off.” She pushed Tyler away and stared him in the eyes. “I love you, I do, I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help it. You’ve never given up on me, which makes this so hard to say.”67

They both stood quiet for a second, not wanting to know what the other was thinking. Their hearts were pounding so hard, they figured it could be heard for miles away. However, the two couldn’t block out the heart beats, regardless of what was about to be said. The two of them looked away, the whole time she said this, Annaliese looked away, “I can’t be with you. I don’t deserve you.”68

Tyler froze, “Wait.”69

“There’s no, ‘waiting’, Tyler. I know what I need; I know what I need to do. I love you, but you’re hindering me sticking up for myself, doing what needs to be done. I just want you to know, that I never meant to fall for you, but I’m happy that I did.” Annaliese was crying, the tear streaks shimmered in the lamp light. “I’m so sorry and you know how I told you to chase after me when I leave? Please, don’t. I can’t take this anymore.”70

Tyler choked back tears. He respected her wishes, but he wished that he hadn’t. He watched her walk off; he could hear her sniffling and sobbing from yards away. He breathed in and out heavily, his heart pounding. He didn’t want her to walk away, but he did. He let her get away from him, and he didn’t think of it then, but perhaps it was Tyler’s one fault, the fault that Annaliese refused to fine and the fault that Tyler couldn’t find in himself.71

The next day, proved to be Hell though, as Tyler awoke with startling news. His mother had come bursting into his room, she was crying. Odd, Tyler never remembered the last time he had seen his mother cry. He woke up groggily, thinking that he had to call Annaliese and tell her that he still loved her, even if they weren’t together.72

“Your girlfriend,” his mother sobbed, shaking Tyler awake, it was with those words that got Tyler’s attention. He sat straight up in his bed.73

“Mom!” Tyler shouted, his pulse was rapid, his head hurt. “What happened to her?”74

“She was found dead, Tyler, she hung herself.”75

Tyler swallowed the lump in his throat, though he didn’t want to. He suddenly figured it all out. Why did he let her get away, she wanted him to care, he did, but he thought she needed her space. Why did he let her get away from him? Tears welled up in his eyes and he fell back to his bed. She broke up with him, so he wouldn’t think it was personal or his fault. That she still loved him, her plan of sticking up for herself was being a martyr. She killed herself to make a statement, to show her step – father and real father how much they ruined her life and any one else who screwed her over. Tyler looked over at his bedroom wall and wondered; maybe he should have gone after her the first time she ran off. If only he did, then he could have prevented the whole thing…