Backstabber

I used to think that you were always walking by my side and always be there if I needed you. But then you showed me the real you. The real you that I didn’t know existed because you hid it away under all your lies. I can’t believe all the pillows I’ve ruined with my tears that you caused. And you don’t even realize how much you hurt me, how badly you’ve broken me inside. You don’t realize that you’re in the wrong and that I’m bleeding all over the ground. I miss how things used to be between us. Before you broke everything.1

Before, you were right there beside me, holding my hand as we walked along this winding road of life. When I stumbled, your hand in mine kept me on my feet and steadied me. When I frowned, you whispered in my ear and made me smile again. When I was afraid, you kept me safe. Then I noticed that we weren’t alone.2

She was walking on your other side all along as well. Her hand griped firmly in yours. When she frowned, you leaned away from me to whisper in her ear and she smiled again. Confusion almost made me let go, but you reassured me that you loved me, that she was just a good friend that had to be taken care of too. And I believe you. I let all my armor fall way and left myself totally unprotected.3

I was blinded by confusion and I was living in the delusion that you painted for me. I didn’t notice when you started walking closer to her and leaving more space between you and me. Your fingertips struggled to grasp mine because you were so far away. And the earth beneath my feet became unsteady. I started to stumble and you never gave me a second glance. Your hand no longer had that strength I needed to pull me up again. You let me fall, and I skinned my knees and strapped my hands. I winced in pain and only then did you make an effort to help me up.4

I had to grab onto your shirt now because your hand wasn’t open for me anymore. You balled your first and buried it in your pocket. But still I staggered beside you because I loved you. Because I didn’t want to lose you. Then you pulled that knife from your pocket, I didn’t see it because I was too busy watching my feet so I wouldn’t fall again, and you plunged it into my back. I screamed and you twisted the hilt to make it louder.5

I crumbled to the ground and you kept on walking with her. I watched as you left me there all alone. I watched as you held her in both your arms. I watched as you kissed her. I closed my eyes and hoped to die.6

But I didn’t. No matter how hard I cried for you, you didn’t come back for me. No matter how badly I wanted to die, I didn’t because you’re not worth it. I’m too strong to let myself die like that. My wounds aren’t fatal and eventually they’ll heal. But I’ll always have those scars. Thanks a lot....7