I didn't think that cough syrup thing was true, So I drank an entire bottle of Dysum 12 hour cough relief. I was tripping like a polio victim in a rocky valley.1
First I drank the bottle and I didn't feel any apparent side effect so I went to sleep. Then about an hour later I woke up to what appeared to be a giant mauve duck dry humping my face, (Upon closer examination later turned out to be a dirty mauve sock.) and immediately attempted to judo flip it off of me, which in my inebriated state caused me to careen into a the pile of dishes I had been stacking next to my bed. 2
Around this time my friend Johnathon walked in to see what the fully crazed curses and duck themed vulgarities were all about, and attempted to restrain me. I was like, "fuck you, Johnathon" and I tackled him, or I should say attempted to. This next part is all hearsay to me so if it sounds fishy to you, this is just what I was told. Instead of tackling him, I missed by about a good ten feet and fell face first onto the floor in the hallway and for the next twenty minutes I stared intensely at the air freshener located at the space above the floor outside my room. As if God Himself had occupied my air freshener. This is where I was discovered by my extremely understanding girlfriend.3
Anyway you guys should try that.4
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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andrew u such a nerd and big dork i love u so much
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That was hilarious. Truly funny. I enjoyed it alot, and have already made plans to read this again when I'm stoned off my ass.
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god i haven't laughed that hard in a damn long time. the dryhumping mauve duck and the polio victim bit had me rolling. oh shit. never going to get over that haha.
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this rocks. completely. especially the ending.
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Should I be proud of this?
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Piss yourself funny
It takes me alot to laugh outloud, which I am still doing! I'm trying not to opt for urination. You are now the first to take my virginty of the favorite list.
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