The Elements1
Chapter 62
Aftermath II3
It is a day like no other. Everything in the universal grid is perfectly aligned for everything to go perfectly wrong. At this moment, across the galaxy, across the entire universe, everything stops. For just one single, solitary moment, everything is in perfect harmony. In this one single moment, the universe holds its breath, unsure of what will happen. All across the universe, fire stops, purely and simply stops. No flammable material lights, nothing sparks, not a single solitary flame exists. The sun and stars merely extinguish. No big bang, no gigantic supernova explosions. At a universal level, fire simply ceases to exist. On this day, one of the primal forces of the universe, an Element, dies...4
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In the first minute, an Element dies. Fire itself is snuffed out on a cosmic scale. A best friend falls to her knees, the horrible truth in front of her eyes burning itself into her brain for all eternity. Angela, Blaze, Goddess of Fire, is dead. By Tuija's hand. Angela's body is thrown into the air by the water blast of her friend and it is in the air that she dies. Blinding white light explodes out of her eyes and mouth, her skin cracking and her body shaking. All present freeze in their tracks as they witness the purest light since the creation of the universe itself. Skin flies off of her body, revealing more of the blinding light as Blaze's fire, her inner dimension, slowly extinguishes, diminishes. Tears of flame slide down what remains of her cheeks as she realises what has happened. And with that, her skin explodes like the shell of an egg. Blaze is no more.6
In the second minute, an Element returns. The air is alive with the electricity of a storm. A best friend awakens with a vengeance. Ronelle, Slipstream, Goddess of Air, has been very much preoccupied with the war inside, her telepathy suddenly and spontaneously without control. Without warning, the thoughts of the world had drowned her, stolen her sense of self. The war she awakens to is nothing compared to the war she has fought within herself. Just moments ago, there had been an overwhelming anger, anger enough to make the Gods tremble, inexplicably, a resolution to her problem. She had taken hold of the anger and used it to triumph within. Now she awakens to a death, and she knows she was saved by a fiery angel. Silently, she thanks Blaze for her parting gift.7
In the third minute, an Element grieves. Water pours down, the Heavens themselves weeping. A best friend seeks forgiveness. Tuija, Tidal, Goddess of Water, rages at the Heavens, the Fates and anyone else who would stand in her way. She seeks an explanation from the Gods and hears only muttered words of apologies. Since Ronelle's awakening, no enemy has moved, every one of them still as statues in light of Ronelles return. Not a word is spoken at Tuijas rage, even as Tuija herself falls to her knees, her tears threatening to flood the world. She has fought for so long to protect herself and her friends and now she is responsible for bringing her worst fears to life. Her heart aches for the loss of her best friend.8
In the fourth minute, an Element feels. The Earth trembles as lightning strikes its surface. A best friend longs to help. Ursula, Quake, Goddess of Earth, longs to reach out to her friend, to console her in her time of need. Feelings from the past are forgotten as a friend breaks down. Tuija is hurt and words can only do so much. She is in need of someone to hold her, to feel her pain, to be her strength and Ursula will be that friend. The only way to survive these events is to stay together. 9
By the sixth minute, the Devil has heard enough. The Fates intervene and everything is made clear. Scott, the Devil, speaks the words of Fate and ushers in a terrible retribution. Tuija hears the words and as the words sink in, Tuija begins to move. The words "It's not your fault" would mean little from anyone but the Devil. As she nears Timean, Tuija's body glows. What were mere shoulders are now clothed in jagged ice spikes. What was black flowing hair is now sharp white icicles. To Timean, still paralysed from Ronelles regaining of her telepathy, a Hellishly demonic ice witch descends on him like a starving lion on a lone gazelle. He knows he is going to die this day. And he can't lift a finger to stop it.10
By the eighth minute, every bone in Timean's body has been broken in at least two places. Every breath is agony personified. Every twitch from every broken nerve is another knife in his skin. He can feel the life trickling out of him and his brain wants to go into shock at this revelation, but the pain is too intense. He can hear her whisper, even though he can't see her. "You're not the God of Time. You're the God of Speed." Too late, this revelation will not save him. Even if he could control his powers right now, Tidal is too powerful to control. All the Gods in the universe couldn't save his life at this moment. He feels an icy hand around his throat as Tidal lifts his limp and nearly lifeless body from the ground. He has heard tell of the eyes being the window to the soul and what he sees in Tuija's eyes chills him to his very core. It has been exactly 8 minutes and seventeen seconds since he led Tuija to believe she had killed her best friend. The next second will be his death, of this he is certain. The Heavens are clouded over, thunder booming and lightning silhouetting Tidals features. He sees her eyes glow white and then everything goes black.11
A contest entry
- 1st Contest by Tarja.
300 points, ended April 10, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Most dramatic scene by Fiddlewilly.
100 points, ended February 22, 14 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please read previous chapters before commenting
Comments
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g6: there's really this theme of purity going on here. I must wonder why, and what 'pure' actually means. When you say 'purest water ever' do you mean that it's just chemically H2O and nothing else? If this is the case, is the 'pure light' in this paragraph just really bright? How does one measure the purity of light? I can see how you might be taking some artistic license here, but I still wonder.
Well, I liked how this was a scene of emotion instead of a scene of violence. My only complaint is this: I don't really care that Angela died. I feel this way for two reasons. One, Tuija and Ursula died too and they just magically ressurected, so I'm having trouble getting worried. Two, I never felt bonded enough to Angela. Tuija and Ursula are the only characters I care about enough that I'd feel something if they were quashed. This is because Tuija sounds human when we're in her POV, and Ursula demonstrated confusion back in chapter 4. Ronelle, however, just seems to fly around getting migraines and Angela just sort of burns things. I would loooooooove to see some chapter where these guys just bond. Talk about the mission. Do nice, casual things, go down town, act like teenagers, without villains jumping out of the ground. Maybe not what you're going for in this story, but I'm just saying what you could do to improve the characters in my eyes (know that I am well aware I cannot speak for anyone but myself). The fights are cool, don't get me wrong, but, particularly in non-visual media, you can't rely that heavily on visual things (such as fighting) to be the pull of the novel. Show me some character interaction before now (longer than five paragraphs) and I'll probably be a bit more emotionally invested in Angela before you kill her.
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Too much
Way too much info. Too many new phrases and odd character names.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it. -
Well I will say this was very original and the ideas in this were something else! However I didn't care for the lack of structure and how the dialog wasn't made very clear... I think there was a lot of intensity and well developed plot points, however I think that the structure and style needs to be edited a bit... however yes very interesting thank you for entering and good luck.
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Potential Actualized
I like the minute by minute approach the this chapters' narrative. It's a nice break of some of the quirkiness of the previous chapters.
I think this is the best chapter yet, by itself, and with respect to the story itself. Everything is pretty straightforward, no chance of disorientation from roundhouse kicks and other choreographics (yes, I know: new word)If you could try to keep this up in other chapters for the sake of reader--if not me! hehehe..beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 3, characters: 3.




