Tuesday was a fantastic day. It was the kind of day where everything goes your way. Your hair looks just right, you got a good grade on a hard test and everyone seems to be smiling your way. The sun even rose without a single cloud to hinder its shine. Tuesday was a fantastic day... and yet, something wasn't right. I saw the smiles of others, but felt no cheer in their giving. I saw the sun, but felt no warmth in its glow. Something wasn't right. I began to torture myself about it, taking every instance I could to make my self feel pain: Why? Instead of embracing the smiles, the sun, my life, I put myself back in the corner. I saw only what I couldn't have, and brought needless guilt and loneliness. It made no sense. My life made none. Tuesday was a fantastic day that I couldn't let myself enjoy. My bed awaited me when I arrived home, and I huddled beneath the covers, so sad and lonely. It hit me, the reason for all my pain. I was finally happy. I had moved on and was alright with facing the world alone. I was finished feeling that. But when I stopped feeling pain, I stopped feeling altogether. That pain, that bitter feeling that left me immobile, was more precious to me than any content aloneness. I would rather feel pain than feel nothing at all.
Author notes
My name is Briana, and everyone spells it wrong, but thats ok. Like this said, I think I push myself to feel, and that feeling is pain. And for some odd reason, that pain is comforting. I don't if its necessarily good to wallow though, is it. Well, i also love to travel (though I never do) and I adore New Zealand. Best place in the world. Thanks for reading! And i read the Rules! I adore Beagles and Airedale terriers!
A contest entry
- Defining Moments by Naive..
800 points, ended April 1, 2008, 20 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Whatcha Feel Like. by lovableReese.
510 points, ended March 12, 2008, 33 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Just You [[Melancholy Melodies]] by Taylor Renee.
225 points, ended May 5, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
I absolutely love this.
Absolutely.
I can relate perfectly. With everything.
And I'm really, really happy you wrote this.
Abd sad that you have to feel it.
You wrote it beautifully, though. In a way where I could've understood pefectly, experience with it or not.
Great work.
Thank you so much for entering my contest, and I wish you the best of luck.
xoxo
-♥-
Tay
-
This was very neat. I kinda felt the pain. It was short but to the point. Good Job. Oh, I like Beagles to. I have a Brittany Spaniel/ Beagle cross. She is so adorable. Thanks for reading the rules and good luck in the contest.
-Sarah- -
Great job!
The description in this piece is really great. I could feel all the pain and raw emotion, and I can definitely see how all of this defined your life. I loved how you started this, as well. And I can certainly understand how pain is more appealing than feeling absolutely nothing at all. Great job! :]
Thanks so much for entering this contest, and good luck!
-jj
-
all too common
I used to do drug and alcohol rehab and escape from the pain was the worst thing for them to face. Families too since they had the marytr thing going and when the other person recovered then their own pain was taken away and they could not function. There is a comfort in things being the same. Hope your expanded writing horizons expand everything.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
Adding your comment:
