1
“Daddy,”2
Rajesh placed the dish he had just washed in its place and turned to look at his sixteen year old daughter. She stood leaning against the kitchen door, a frown in her face. 3
“ Yes, Rupa,” 4
“I wish you will let me wash the dishes,” 5
“It is okay dear, I have nothing better to do but you need to study,”6
“I am not studying, daddy, I am watching TV,”7
Rajesh looked his daughter reproachfully. She was smiling and he knew she was teasing him. 8
He stared at her for a while, wondering at her beauty and ease. At sixteen she stood 5’ tall, not bad for the age, round face, fair skin, petite with full breasts. She reminded him of his wife. She was this way when he had married her, only a little taller and with more flesh on her. She wore a loose fitting white laced nighty but it did not hide her shape. He sighed and turned back to his washing.9
“Daddy!”10
“Yes, Rupa?”11
“I said I am not studying, I am watching TV,”12
“So?”13
“Aren’t you going to say some thing?”14
“ What do you want me to say?”15
“Why can’t you rebuke me for not studying?”16
“Will it do any good?” He now turned and looked at her, with a wicked grin on his face.17
“Oh, daddy,” She came running into his open arms. He held her close to him, his fingers shuffling her long black hair. 18
“Daddy,” she whispered into his ear. 19
“Yes, sweetie,”20
“Why don’t you get married again?”21
“ I don’t see any need for that, Rupa,” His voice was stern as he said this. 22
“You are still crying for that bitch, aren’t you,”23
“Rupa! that is no way to talk about your mother,”24
“Mother? you expect me to think of that whore as my mother?”25
“Look,” He pulled her away from him and looked into her gleaming fierce eyes, “Don’t ever talk to me about your mother like this again,” He slapped her, but not very hard. 26
Tears began to flow from her eyes, but she looked back at him defiantly and said,” She is a whore daddy, and you know it,”27
“Hit me as much as you want, but I say she is a whore,” She braced herself expecting another slap on her face. 28
Rajesh relaxed his grip on her and turned away. He did not want to hit her again. He knew she was telling the truth, only he hated the fact that this child of his should face such a painful trauma. 29
Rupa, ran out of the kitchen and hearing her footsteps he turned again and stared at her back as she ran. 30
Rajesh went back to wash the dishes but his thoughts went to the time he had married Anu. He was twenty-five then, stood 5’7” slim but strong looking and she was twenty-two. She had just finished her P G when he went to see her with his parents. He liked her the minute he saw her. At 5’2” She was petite but beautiful. He liked her long black hair as it cascaded, neatly combed but not plaited and her spotless fair skin glowed. The Kanchipuram saree she wore did not allow him to see how full her breasts were but he had a feeling it was round and full. Otherwise she was shapely and looked wonderful. She had a way with her as she smiled and he had looked at her wonderingly as her smile extended to her eyes. The minute he laid his eyes on her he knew his answer will be the inevitable “Yes” 31
Later, when she also gave her “yes” they were given a chance to talk alone for a few minutes and they both liked each other and there was no need for anything else. The marriage was settled and two months later they had their honeymoon in Kodaikanal. They both seemed to fit well together as both had same taste in most everything. There was only one flaw he could find in her, she was too short tempered and flared up at the drop of a hate. 32
She was also stubborn but that he could accept without complaining as he was more than willing to give in to her demands. As an Engineer in the government service he had a decent income and they lived a reasonably good life. In the first three years both Praveen and Rupa were born. During both the pregnancies she took him to task. She lost her temper often for no reason and would flare at him. She was sick most of the time and could not even run the house. He took everything silently and helped her through the difficult times. Her mother came down to help for the delivery of their son, Praveen but when Rupa was born he was on his own. He did not mind.33
As a bachelor he knew nothing about cooking or any other house work. His mother and sisters would never allow him into the kitchen. Even in the dining table they served and never let him even help himself. But now in order to help her he learned to cook and helped her wash the dishes and clothes as well. In fact he did most of the dish washing and laundry. Seven more years went by and it was a happy time for them both. Although the kids were a sweet nuisance, they still got along well and had a good marital relationship. Anu was always complaining about the work at home since she hated house work. He did most of the work around the house, helping her making life peaceful and happy enough. 34
He helped her a lot in bringing up the kids and at night she was always willing and gave herself totally as did he. And then she began to complain about being bored at home all day long as the kids were going to school and she was all alone. At first he did not see anything in it but then she demanded she wanted to go to work. He did not like the idea. He wanted her free at home so she could care for the kids and him. She was not much help in that area but he wanted her home when the kids came home from school. He did not liek the idea of the kids waiting at the door after a tiring day in school or leaving them with neighbours till one of them came home. He knew how tiring it would be if she went to work and then took care of the house as well, even with him helping. 35
But she would not listen and began to fight with him insisting she must get a job. Finally when all his pleas went unheeded, he reluctantly agreed and found her a job in a big company in their administration department. It was a taxing job but the pay was good. She seemed happy with the job but she was bitching at home a lot. He never took her money always telling her to spend it as she liked. His income was more than enough for running the house as he had no bad habits. There love making began to dwindle as she was always tired and said she was not in the mood. He had to be satisfied with a once in a week love making that was also short and unsatisfying.36
He started spending more of his time with the kids and went to sleep after her, so he would not feel frustrated. Slowly the gape began to widen as she was too busy most of the time and had no time for him or the kids. She would often come home late and say she had to work late. It was at this time two years after she started working that he came to know about her affair. A woman who worked with her met him in his office one day and told him what is going on. He had never suspected her until then. 37
He was shocked and could not believe it. At first he got mad at the woman but when she gave him the bare facts with proof he had to shut up and face the facts. The woman was older than him and seemed to be sincere and concerned of their well being. She seemed to like Anu too and thought Anu was straying because of bad company. Friends she had made in and outside the company who were misguiding her, mostly men who were playing “yes, madam” to her just so she would spend time with them. Rajesh thanked her and send her away but he was shocked. It was hard to believe his Anu could be having an affair. He had tried to be a good husband to her in spite of her short temper and stubborn nature. 38
He could not understand where he went wrong and what he did not do for her that made her look else where. It was a shocking revelation and he tried hard to introspect himself to see if he was the cause for her straying. No matter how hard he tried he could not find any fault with him that could lead her to do what she was doing. 39
For a few days he stayed quiet considering what he must do. He decided he can not take the woman’s word for granted no matter how sincere she may be. So he took time to check on her which he hated. But the truth seemed to stare at him as he saw her leave the office sharply at 5.30 P M everyday and directly go to an apartment building where she stayed until 9.00 P M and on some days even upto 10 P M. She always said she had to work late and even complained to him the job was too taxing and they were slaving her for the good pay they gave. When he asked her why not leave the job she got uppity and said she did not mind working hard but only felt too tired after the work. 40
Discreet questioning at the apartment building revealed whose house she was visiting and what the people in the building thought about her. The man she was seeing was a younger man who was tall, almost 6’ and a hunk. He, they also said was a sweet talker and a smooth operator. This information enlightened him. Anu had told him after their marriage that she had a yen for big strong men but settled for him because dreams don’t come true and he seemed a nice guy. At that time Rajesh has laughed at her fancy and had even sad all women wanted just that. Now as he remembered, it was disgusting and Rajesh was confused. He still loved her and had no idea how to cope with this problem. 41
The thought of confronting her never occurred to him. He simply could not bring himself up to even accept she is cheating on him. But he accepted the fact and kept quiet and convinced himself he was doing this for the sake of the kids. He did not want the kids to know what their mother was doing. Two and a half years went by and all during this period Rajesh kept his knowledge to himself but refrained from making love to her. On rare occasions when she wanted to make love he politely refused saying he is too tired or not in the mood. She would then flare up at him but he would not relent. He could not even touch her knowing what she was doing. 42
His heart was broken but he showed a brave face at home and outside, as he did not want the scandal to become public. He had many options, he could talk to his parents or hers. But he knew both parents would be badly upset if they learned the truth and he finally decided to keep the secret to himself. It was hell living in the same house and be casual. But with an iron will, he managed but the old cheerfulness was gone from him. The kids saw it in him but he had a ready answer. Work pressure he would tell them and the young ones accepted it as truth as they trusted their father so much. 43
While Praveen left his father alone, Rupa tried to cheer him up with all kinds of tales and jokes. He laughed with her with an effort successfully hiding his true feelings. The kids loved him and behaved so well that it was a relief to him to spend time with them and he forgot his pain in their company. 44
And then one day the truth came out from unexpected quarters. Rupa was fourteen then and one of her friends who came to visit her broke the secret to Rupa of all people. This girl lived in the same apartment building where Anu was having her affair and the girl had seen her there and also knew about the affair just as all the residents of that apartment building did or so the girl confessed. 45
Young Rupa, confused and stunned by this shameful revelation about her mother was silent for a few days not knowing what to do. Then on a Sunday when they were having their dinner together she confronted her mother.46
“Ma, you better resign the job and stay at home,” she said suddenly in a croaked voice. 47
Rajesh looked at her shocked and saw the tears in her eyes. 48
“Why should I?” Anu was cool. 49
“Don’t ask me why, ma, just leave the job and stay home,” the girl pleaded with tears in her eyes.50
“ I like the job, Rupa and I am not going to leave the job just because you say so, anyway what is wrong with you?”51
“Nothing, it is you who is doing wrong,” the girl blurted out angrily.52
Rajesh tried to intervene and it was then that the girl told the shameful truth and how she was being laughed at in the school because of her mothers infidelity. 53
Anu’s face blanched at the shock of being caught but she stood her ground trying to claim it was false accusation. 54
Rajesh stopped the argument then and there curtly and forced the kids to go to there room. He then confronted his wife in their bedroom and begged her to leave the job and the affair for the sake of the kids if not for him. At first she was indignant that she was accused of having an affair and even went to the extend of saying the girl is crazy to even believe what she had said. But when Rajesh told her he knew of it long ago but had kept quiet, she turned to her stubborn nature and said she is ready to leave them if that is what they wanted. 55
In the next few days, Rajesh did all he could to convince her she must stop this for the sake of the children but she was quietly stubborn and would say nothing. Then one day she packed her bags and left without anybody knowing, leaving a message behind that she will send her divorce notice. The next few months were hell as Rajesh struggled with himself and the badly upset kids. 56
Finally they had settled down to some what a normal life, once the divorce went through and Anu left the city for good. No one bothered to learn where she went or with whom. While Praveen was quiet and took the events in its stride, Rupa would not forgive her mother as she was teased and insulted in school so much before she had confronted her mother. Rajesh, understanding the girls pain changed her to another school on the other side of the city. But he knew the girl had not forgiven her mother and never will. She had the same stubborn nature of her mother in her and she was proud as well. 57
Immersed in the painful thoughts, Rajesh had totally forgotten he was still in the kitchen. He shook himself out of his reverie and went to the kids room. They shared the second bedroom and he found Praveen still sitting before his table drawing some thing for his college. He was studying to be a doctor and he was too studious and concentrated sincerely on his studies. 58
Rupa on the other hand needed him to keep her on the toes as she often lost her concentration with thoughts of her mother and her misdeeds haunting her. Rajesh was soft on her all along but today he lost his temper and now wanted to make it up with her. She lay in her bed on her stomach and pretended to sleep. He gathered her in his arms like he used to do when she was a child and telling Praveen she will sleep in his room tonight, left the room. The boy would understand he knew. The boy is not only intelligent but had a lot of understanding as well. 59
In his bedroom he laid her on the bed gently and sat beside her. 60
“Rupa,”61
“Umm,”62
“I am sorry, I lost my temper,”63
Rupa sat up and buried her head in his chest and cried. He held her and let her cry. Finally her cries ended and she looked up.64
“Dad, I am sorry, I know I should not have said that,”65
“Forget it, sweetie, let us go to sleep,”66
“No, dad, tell me why you won’t marry again?”67
“Who will look after you both if I married again?” he countered68
“We can look after ourselves dad,” 69
“I know, sweetie, only I am not ready for another marriage,”70
“But dad you need some one,” 71
“I have two some ones,” he smiled at her reassuringly. 72
“Do you honestly believe it is enough, daddy?”73
“You see my dear, when a man lives a happy married life for ten years and then he is left all alone, he would be so lonely that he will want to marry again. But in my case I am not all alone, I have two loving children living with me and I never feel lonely. So you see I can get along without marrying again,”74
“But daddy what happens once we also marry and leave you?”75
“I can still live in my memories and then again you will have children of your own whom I can visit often and make sure I am never lonely, sweetie,”76
“Also if all goes well, your brother will be with me even after he gets married and that would be a comfort, don’t you think?”77
“Daddy, I want to be with you, I do not want to marry and go away,”78
“My life is over my dear, yours just begins. You should be worrying about yourself and not me,” Rajesh squeezed her shoulders and smiled at her reassuringly. 79
“Daddy,”80
“Yes, sweetie,”81
“I wish mother was not such a whore to leave us like this,”82
“Not all her fault, sweetie, there are people always misguiding, especially the women get easily swayed. Your mother was not thinking straight, is all,”83
“I hope I get a husband as understanding and kind as you are, daddy,” 84
“You will sweetie, you will, God helps us the stranded always,”85
“But why did God let this happen to such a sweet man as you, daddy,”86
“God does everything for His purpose my dear and we are never aware of His plans, only everything happens for the best,”87
“Daddy, my friends all say you are too young to be alone, even my teacher Mrs.Raghavan said so after she visited our house the other day. She said you are such a nice gentleman,” She smiled at him. 88
“Next time some one says I am alone, tell them I am not and you and Praveen are there with and for me, okay?”89
“Sure Daddy, if that is what you want,”90
“That is what I want my dear and now it is time you slept. Tomorrow you have to go to school,” he chided her pleasantly and then held her close to him and kissed her hair. 91
“Good night, daddy,” she kissed him on both his cheeks and then settled to sleep with her head on his chest. 92
Rajesh sighed deeply and let her go to sleep. In a few minutes he heard her regular breathing that told him she is asleep. He gently laid her head on the pillow and then went to check on his son. Praveen was still studying or rather doing his drawing work. 93
“Praveen time for you to go to bed, see it is already 11 P M,”94
“Dad,” the boy looked up at his father.95
“Yes son,” 96
“Can I also sleep with you tonight, I am so tired,”97
“Sure son, come along,” Rajesh helped the boy to stack away the books and note books and hand in hand father and son left the room. 98
In his bedroom, Rajesh lay between his two gems, both their heads resting on his chest and went to sleep contented. He knew he can live his life without his wife as long as he had his children loving him as they do now. 99
The End100
Copyright © 12/05/2004 Poet Raja 101
**102
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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*smiles*
I think this story was exactly what I needed.
Too many times I get lost in the world, the world of the modern, everyday life.
Too many times I start to lose my sense of myself, not only as a person, but as a person with the blood of india driving her heart.
This was very beautiful, and it's sad that people like anu exist but is happy that life can still go on and even be good again.
Thank you.
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That is a really sad story, with a happy ending. I'm sorry, I'm not a kid (unless you call 25 young) and thanks a lot for the comment. I'm not going to show him the poem, though. Anyway, nice to see you're from India too, I'm from Bangalore.
Regards,
Sammy. -
A very good story, Joel! One whose storyline is too ofen repeated these days! It never fails to amaze me that people, such as Anu in your story, are not satisfied with the blessings they've been given; a hard working, faithful, dedicated husband and father; two healthy, intelligent and beautiful children, and no doubt, a home that was comfortable and furnished exactly to her whim. And still, it wasn't enough! What's wrong with people, that it's never enough??? It's discouraging to think that, when you give yourself to someone completely, and give your all, for so many years, they would in the end, betray all that you'd built together! (Even though Rupa couldn't understand why her Dad didn't want to remarry, it seems pretty evident! Why would someone put themselves out there again, give their all again, and be betrayed again!) You did an excellent job here, Joel! You're not only an astounding Poet, but a gifted storyteller, as well! I was drawn in competely from the first, to the very last! (Even though I somehow hoped that this would have a happier ending!)
Paula
Edited on Jan 02, 7:55 p.m. because 'typo'. -
HeartWarming
I am crying..so i wont be able to think of appropriate adjectives for this wonderfully heartwarming story...
Absolutely well-crafted and poignant story.
Love
Pia. -
excellent job!
What a story my freind..very touching..very sad..how 2people can drift apart that way..that hurts..i like how you end it and it is true..no need for another half like that if the kids are loved and around..
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