Killer Eyes - Part One

I looked up into the eyes of my killer as he leaned down and gave me a final kiss. His tender lips felt rough against my pale lips, blood draining from them as it all leaked out of my. Blood was pooling around my chest. A clean cut was visable just under my left breast where a knife had pieced my skin and sliced open my heart. I didn't want him to touch me. I hated him for what he had done to me but deep down I did still love him. I wanted it to go back to how it had been a week ago.1


...ONE WEEK AGO...2


I took his hand in mine and he brushed a piece of stray hair from my face. We were walking along the boardwalk, looking over the most gorgeous beach. There was white sand beneath where we were walking and the sunset made the water glow orange. The sun was touching the horizon and only half was now visible. We sat down on a bench overlooking the wonderful view and I cuddled up against him trying to warm my hands by rubbing them on his skin. It was a chilly night. Winter was a month away and the weather was already turning sour. Don't hate me, I love the winter but it justs gets too cold where I live.3

"I love you, Nathalia." Elijah whispered into the cold night air. The soft wind that rustled the leaves on the trees carried the words to my ears and I looked into his golden eyes and smiled. He brushed his lips across the nape of my neck and I sighed at his touch. "I love you, too." My words weren't as soft and sweet as his but they still hit his heart hard. I had never said those words to him before and he took me in his arms and I knew then that he was the one. I had found my true love.4

Elijah put his arms around me and cuddled me to his chest, his grip as light as a feather even though he was very muscular. I looked over the now black horizon. We slipped from the bench and he pulled me off the wooden flooring and into his arms. This was the best night of my life.5

Elijah carried me home with me feeling safe and secure in his grip. I rested my head on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his neck. I didn't want to let go when he took me into the bedroom and placed me on the bed. I didn't feel anything as I touched the bed. It felt as though I was floating on air. I still had my arms around his neck. He gently grabbed my hands and took them in his and gave them a squeeze. The last thing I felt before I fell asleep was his lips against mine. His eyes changed from the golden brown on the beach to dark and mysterious
shadows against the white of his skin.6

I woke to the sound of birds chirping the next morning. I smiled as I remembered what had happened last night. I jumped out of bed and grabbed a green singlet out of the closet. I pulled it over my head and pulled a brush through my long, curly, blonde hair. I was in a hurry to see Elijah again before the school day started. I was in the last year and Elijah had left the a couple of years before. He was three years older than me but mum was a drug addict and dad was dead so they couldn't of really cared less about my life let alone who I went out with. Most of the time I would come home to an empty house because mum would be out at the clubs partying and stocking up on the cocaine and heroine.7

I grabbed a small backpack of the chair at the front door and was careful about locking the door. If we got robbed or the police turned up and found mum's stash we would be in big trouble. I basically ran down the cracked cement path towards where Elijah lived on the waters edge. I skidded around a corner and stopped suddenly, nearly running into a person with black hair that hung over his/her eyes. There was a honey blonde streak running right down the middle of their face. After a few moments of staring, the person who I know knew was a boy by his muscular jaw line and very broad shoulders, turned and looked straight into my eyes. He hissed at me, spitting in my face and I ran past him to Elijah's door.8

I knocked twice and stared at my feet. There was a broken down swing seat lying in pieces along the verandah and weeds growing out of pot plants. I knew it wasn't the most spectacular place to be but it was where the person I loved lived so I didn't care. Elijah opened the door just as I was losing my hopes of hime being home. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek, thanking him for last night. Elijah took my hands away from his neck and led me inside, still not saying anything. A scream from deep in the house broke the scilence and I became quite afraid. I didn't know whether to run or to jump into Elijah's arms. In the end I just kept holding his hand. "What was that?" I asked Elijah, he hadn't even flinched when the scream had pierced the silence. "I've got some friends over. Who knows what they are doing?"9

"How can you let your friends roam your house and let them scream like that? It's kinda scary isn't it?"
"I don't find it is. But, I lied. I do know what they are doing but I can't tell anybody."
"Even me?"
"Noone." We walked into his bedroom and sat down on the end of his bed. There were stains on the wall, it looked as if someone had done some cooking and the mixture had gone out of control and left the bowl to stick to the walls. It was a dark brown colour and the room had a stale odour, something I knew but I couldn't quite get my tongue around.10

I turned to face Elijah's handsome figure, expecting for him to be looking at me and at least showing he loved me but what I found was emptiness. Without me noticing, he had left the room. I didn't know whether I should leave the bedroom and look for him or to stay put and wait for him to come back. My decision was to wait. I was sitting there for about fifteen minutes before his familiar figure stepped into the room. The seconds had been ticking away and the school bell was set to ring in half an hour. I couldn't be late again because the principal (even though I liked him) would ring my mother and she would go ballistic. Sometimes she got so high on drugs, I would say something to her and she would lash out at me with her nails or fist. I would always have to go to school the next day and find excuses to why I had marks on my face, arms and legs.

Author notes

Any review is a good review.

A contest entry

Do you like it? I have only ever written two stories about murder and I'm not sure if it alright or not.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • iBubbles
    June 14

    Edit | Reply
    it was really well written. but im on the slow side, so im still kinda confused why he's gonna kill her.. sorry x[[


  • whichcraft Greeters member
    April 21

    Edit | Reply
    Well, I am not into murder stories but this one was well written. It was crazy how you started the story and then went on to tell us what happened. That was a good intro. Thank you for entering my contests and good luck.

  • one last time...
    April 1

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    i'm very surprised you havent won any medals. this is a pretty good story. keeps the reader fixed on its words and its good from the start to the end.

    of course, you should b telling me when there is more...right?

  • one last time...
    April 1
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    i'm very surprised you havent won any medals. this is a pretty good story. keeps the reader fixed on its words and its good from the start to the end.

    of course, you should b telling me when there is more...right?


  • LostSoulOfRage
    April 1

    Edit | Reply
    tnx for entering the contest and srry for the late comment.
    wow! this was very good. i like it alot. the introduction was amazing! it had me hooked from the beginning. i hope you write more to this! good job and good luck. keep it up!

    -LostSoul


  • necessary evil
    April 1
    Edit | Reply
    that is a really good story,when r u going to write more?

  • mysterydragon
    April 1

    Edit | Reply
    i love the intro. definately got me hooked on the story. there is a lot of mystery, especially how you ended it without saying what was really going on. i definately want to know more about what is going on.


  • B Chandler Greeters member
    March 31
    Edit | Reply

    Although Good.....

    ...But your entry is being removed as this is a members only contest


  • B Chandler Greeters member
    March 29

    Edit | Reply

    Quick Fix

    In this paragraph:

    I woke to the sound of birds chirping the next morning. I smiled as I remembered what had happened last night. I jumped out of bed and grabbed a green singlet out of the closet. I pulled it over my head and pulled a brush through my long, curly, blonde hair. I was in a hurry to see Elijah again before the school day started. I was in the last year and Elijah had left the a couple of years before. He was three years older than me but mum was a drug addict and dad was dead so they couldn't of really cared less about my life let alone who I went out with. Most of the time I would come home to an empty house because mum would be out at the clubs partying and stocking up on the cocaine and heroine.7



    I think you meant to say 'there' where you was speaking about when the male character left school. Other from that, Cricket


  • ParadoxicalOxymoron
    March 21
    Edit | Reply
    Oh my gosh.. This story is so good. I think I only have one suggested revision - "Noone" should be "No one." Very intense, and I'll be reading more of your stories. You've got me hooked. I wonder what happened? Thanks for entering, good luck, and definitely keep writing!

    ~kittyluvr


  • IxLovexElphiex
    March 13
    Edit | Reply
    very good, great emotion! i wanna know what happens!
    thanks for entering and good luck!


  • Champaign Kisses
    March 11
    Edit | Reply
    bravo bravo very nice


  • CactusJack silver member
    March 11
    Edit | Reply
    Umm what option is this for exactly?


  • Pomodorina
    March 8
    Edit | Reply

    Thanks

    Thanks for all the comments that you have all posted. I really appreciate it.


  • Dear-Knight-Te-Amo gold member
    March 7
    Edit | Reply

    very nice

    keep writeing i loved it


  • Breathless Ballons
    March 5

    Edit | Reply
    WOW!! This is reallyy good!! It has great descriptions.. add more!! You got me hooked and now I want to see what happens.. jeje..

    Great Job!!


  • Vampiric souls
    March 4

    Edit | Reply

    YES

    this is a really good end or start or middle, well it could fit anywhere, just write more please, it is a really good read


  • MrsJoeJonas909
    March 3
    Edit | Reply

    I love this

    It was soo touching and i felt the actual stab wound it was so detailed.... congrats!


  • Vampiric souls
    March 3
    Edit | Reply

    good

    woot awesomeness, good

1 - 20 of 20