Light and Dark (chapter 2)

I stared at them, puzzled. “What? How?”1

Ry looked at me as if I had thirteen eyes growing out of my nose. “You know – with your mind.”2

“Yeah – but how?”3

“Surely you know its name! You must’ve gotten a sign – or something!”4

“Oh.” I remembered my dream. Surely not… But I could probably believe anything now.5

Shaheena, I called. Shaheena, come here!6

Silence. Dead silence.7

Then an eerily high whistle filled the air, and there was a squeaky electric crackle. Buzzing, a circle of bright white light appeared in the center of the room, hanging there, elongating and shrinking again. White light fizzed out from the middle, filling it with a bright light.8

“Wow,” whispered Ry. “That's one powerful portal!”9

Crack. Shaheena, the beautiful black falcon, flew out of the circle, letting out a loud cry. Shaheena? I whispered.10

But it didn't speak, by mind or by its loud, piercing crow. Instead it flapped its wings and flew out of the door – and, still in shock, I did nothing. Then realizing where I was, and I ran out of the room. Ry just stood there, not following.11

Basically the same thing happened as yesterday – it landed on the keys and I stood there, slack jawed, incomprehensive.12

Oh god, I was stupid. Just take the freakin' key!13

So I did. And I took it to the huge, old-fashioned door made of fancy mahogany and slid it in. It fit well, sliding in as though it was oiled every day, even though it obviously was not. I turned it.14

Slowly, having an almost magically unrealistic quality, I pushed the door open. The falcon flew out, gliding on the air, beating its midnight black wings only once or twice. Something inside of me told me to follow it, and I listened, without knowing why.15

Finally! I was out of its putrid walls: I could see the Beyond. Flying straight into the forest, I ran after the falcon, laughing.16

Tree after tree, color after color, I recalled that this was my dream. We finally even reached the small clearing.17

But this time, Shaheena said, “Adrenkern. Your Secret Name is Adrenkern.”18

Then, so quickly, yet the moment seemed to freeze in time, Shaheena darted up to me and landed on my rough, black hair.19

Hello, Drake.20

I couldn't tell the difference between her talking outside or inside my head, her voice was so smooth. We have much to talk about.21

Yes, I agreed. First of all – what the heck is a secret Name?22

It is the name of your soul. Shaheen a cawed, throwing her head back. I felt elated being next to such a wild, free animal.23

I was about to turn to head back when I realized something and asked the falcon, Where do you... go at night?24

I have my ways.25

Ok, then.26

This time, Ry woke me up. Strange, huh?27

“Time to go to school, Drake! I called the cab – It comes in five minutes!”28

"Huh? What? what 're yo-”29

“Call Shaheena now! Bus comes in 5 minutes!”30

“Wha- Ok-”31

Shaheena! Cab comes in 5 minutes!32

Crackle! Fizz! Pop! Shaheena flew into the room. Quick! I think the headmistress got wind of your escape!33

“Damn!” Ry shouted, then covered his mouth in alarm. The three others groggily stirred, and were surprised to see Ry fully dressed. “Whoops!”34

But the three were already up and dressed. “We're ready to escape!” said Sam, his brown hair flopping over his eyes.35

“Shoot! We don't have time for this!” I whispered furiously.36

“We overheard you guys talking about escaping,” Max said.37

“Fine! Come with us!” Ry said. I gaped at him, then saw Kapueo peeking slyly over his shoulder.38

You may need them as friends in the future, Shaheena cawed.39

“Wow! A falcon!”40

“Do we want to catch a cab or not?” I shouted.41

Ry and I led the other three down the hallway.42

“How do we get Out?” Sam whispered. 43

“Don't you see the key?” I stuttered.44

All three faces looked bemusedly at me. “I see it. It must be enchanted so only wizards see it.” Ry whispered.45

Oh god. The Headmistress was a witch. Touching the golden key, I ran to the doorway and slid the key in. Again, it it was like molten gold was pouring into the lock. Time seemed to slow down, and it seemed like the center of the world, revolving around me.46

The door jolted open, and across the long courtyard was the cab. My fellow orphans and I ran across the yard, trying to blend in with the “impossible to camouflage with” grass.47

Bang! First emerged the tip of her large stomach; then her nose, a cruel pointed 48

one; then the rest of her dysfunctional body.49

“Orphans!” the Headmistress shrieked. “Orphans escaping!”50

What was supposed to happen is all of the 16 year olds (who hadn't been sent off51

to work) were to run out and grab us. But it seemed that Max, Sam, and the No-Name kid had spread the word of our escape, because no one came out. I knew they’d be sorely whipped later. We kept running.52

Hmm. the Headmistress seemed to be going really fast. Then I noticed that her familiar was a cheetah. The spotted cat prowled in the background, hissing at Kapueo, who streaked past him to us.53

Ry snapped out his wings and flew to the cab. All of the sudden I felt a huge, burning pain in my back and suddenly... I was flying!54

Ry pushed the driver out, who swore loudly. Putting it in reverse, he backed up to the others, I dropped into the cab.55

“Sam! Get on the pedals!” Ry ordered. His legs couldn't reach.56

“Ry! Do you even know how to drive?!”57

"No!!”58

“Then,” I yelled, “Everyone hold on tight!” The car shot forward. Sam shoved his hand down on the accelerator, and the car swerved around the corner. Finally! We were about to be out of the dank walls of the orphanage! We had to skid to a stop and Sam frantically punched brake when yelled the word “Brake!” so I could fit the key into the wall's gate door.59

Jamming it against the lock, I yelled, “It won't fit!”60

“Aaargh!”61

A large, joyful felling spread up the core of my body, and I yelled, “Böe!”62

The door was blasted open, and the glass in shattered, cutting me on my cheek. Thump.63

“Ow!” Sam and I said at the same time. He’d bonked his head on the bottom of the dashboard, and how his head was bleeding heavily. “Aaah!” bawled.64

“Don't worry,” No-Name said, “head wounds bleed a lot. You're not that hurt.”65

Nice, hooted Kapueo.66

“Guys! Drive out! Door's open!” I screamed. I was still surprised at my first display of magic. I looked back. Bonus points! Headmisress was held back by the rubble.67

“Ok!” Ry yelled.68

He shifted the gear to D3, Sam pushed the accelerator all of the way to the floor, and we crashed through the rubble and flew into the air, crash landing in the desolate dirt. We inspected ourselves quickly to make sure nothing was broken.69

“Wahoo!” shouted Max.70

Driving forward, we soon found a road in the bare prairie.71

My hand brushed against some thin and paper-like, and I winced as I got a paper cut. The worst kinds of wound.72

“I found a map!” I shouted.73

“Give it!”74

Two hours later75

Navigating our ways through the streets of engine, we caught some odd looks for our smashed car and us being "midgets.” But none tried to stop us, none fought. The streets were paved, and men and women rushed around in suits a huge hurry. Shops lined the street and I wondered where the boat we were to the School would be. Ry refused to say. "The otheres" can't hear, he had told me. And what were we to do with Max, Sam, and No-Name?

Author notes

I might have some typos *embarrased*

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Comments

  • wolfcub
    April 17

    Edit | Reply
    There are lots of typos, but if you put this through a spell-checker it'll pick them up. And the plot in this chapter is not as good as the one before. OK, my anaylsis again (hopefully not as long as the last one):

    'Basically the same thing happened as yesterday – it landed on the keys and I stood there, slack jawed, incomprehensive.
    Oh god, I was stupid. Just take the freakin' key!'
    Again quite an immature way of expressing this. Get rid of the basically and the yesterday. Maybe put in a phrase that you used to describe how the bird did it the last time (repetition is GOOD!). I don't think incomprehensive is the right word here.

    'Slowly, having an almost magically unrealistic quality'
    This has too much description. Try 'slowly, with unreal majesty' or 'slowly, with a surreal air of magic previously unknown to me'. Something like that!

    'First of all – what the heck is a secret Name?'
    Would they really address their familiar like this in their first conversation? I don't think so...

    'What was supposed to happen is all of the 16 year olds (who hadn't been sent off to work) were to run out and grab us. But it seemed that Max, Sam, and the No-Name kid had spread the word of our escape, because no one came out. I knew they’d be sorely whipped later. We kept running.'
    Again, jazz this up a bit. Make it sound more mature. Get rid of the 'what was supposed to happen is'.

    Böe - is this meant to read Böse? or what?

    Ok, so you need to spell-check and improve the quality of your tone (sound older) a bit, but this story is coming on really well. With time and practise, I think you'll be producing some great pieces of work. If you want me to go through this in more detail (point out spelling, grammar and smaller tone errors) I can do for you.
    Keep it up

    wolfcub