Doors that once stood ajar
closed with a mighty slam
the doors that once was open for you and only you
but now you left me all alone
and I have to let go of you even if I didn't want to1
A million colour of rainbow mixed within my heart
A thousand cries of sorrows drowning my soul
A hundred mixed feelings ran through my veins
A melancholic tone that flows through my head2
Those slowly fade within me
floating into the distant light
enveloped in darkness
not even a ray of hope that shone on me
slowly my very own melody of life faltered,
leaving me alone, lonely in this deep silence...3
Listen to my cries
the screams of agony within me
pitifully sitting in a corner bleedin
with melancholic cries that haunts the skies
Injured and left alone
by the arrow of love4
Read to me,
the poem of my life
how I lost everything
and even the very shell that I'm living in
because of time...5
Author notes
Well I think this wasn't really well done. But I still want to write it I guess. At least I tried and i got the Idea so might as well pen it down. And please give me a comment about this alright...thanks. Again I'm doing this very early in the morning kinda of tired I guess but I still try. (very early means the start of the day 1am++)
Please give me honest opinion and thoughts about this!
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I liked it
It is really cool! Wonderfully well done and it is a great display of emotion! I can understand the loneliness this character is experiencing.. -
OMG.
Two Words. Brilliant Stuff.
Its real poigant and touching. Not well done?? *shakes head* Dude.
I like the rthym and the flow of words...extremely well done.
Randy
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amazing..so naked. it was well written. i can't see why you are dissapointed with this one. it's really good. very sad feelings.. it's like all hopes are gone. the one and only is gone. the door is closed. sealed. locked. and then suddenly. all the pain rushing through you. you are screaming out your pain. so pure..the feeling of bleeding..left there all alone. it's really powerfull sad feelings. kinda angsty and depressed. i loved the piece "inured and left alone by the arrow of love.. that is a really good description. so sad.. and as always.. im amazed by your great use of words.. you find the perfect words all the time..stunning poem
Great job!
keep up the good work
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Haha you wrote this at 1am. I can tell you wrote it sorta early cause your not using big vocab like you normaly do. I'm different in that way since I think most deeply when I'm really tired, don't know why lol. Its still a sad but great poem but if you were more awake I know you could of done alot better. Thanks for the great read! Keep writing!
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That's early!
This is so sad...right a happy story!
I like this but it looked like a run-on sentence..again. I guess this is ok since you wrote this at 1am Good job!
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I like it all, shows a very strong love going very badly wrong and loosing it all me you have lost yourself. Or thats how I saw it. I liked this your grammar went slighty AWOL but apart from that it flowed lovely and didn't stick. Nice idea and well put. well done and keep writing.
C.E -
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Ah yes my grammar is kinda of bad here was a little drowsy while writing...well so that's the result of it. but thanks for liking it.
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