Beatings will continue, until morale improves.

Beatings will continue, until morale improves.
And 17 other facts about life.1

Disclaimer: They’re my words, perspectives and opinions, if you disagree; good for you. You don’t have to tell me through spamming a bunch of hate messages. You have been warned.2

Foreword3

I sat down and I thought, ‘I should write a book’. After all, every one else seems to writing books these days. That led me to think… a book about what? I could write a fantasy novel, a children’s book, or even an erotica. But none of them would do, instead I would write about me, after all, It’s the one thing I know about better than anyone else. But it was still a bit too early to begin writing my auto-biography, so I’ll write something that will do good in the word, I’ll write something funny… of course, that’s easier said than done…so I’ll guess I’ll just take a stab in the dark and hope I don’t hit anyone.4

P.S. Thanks Mum you’re awesome. 5


Chapter 1
Beatings WILL continue, until morale improves.6

In today’s society, everything some one says can be taken in four different ways:
Literally, Figuratively, Sexually and Offensively
For example, from the title of this book you could
a) Literally believe you’d get beaten until you say you’re happy and upbeat;
b ) Figuratively accept the concept and accordingly translate it into ‘lighten up and everything else will as well’;
c) Believe you’re going to be whipped by a certain unsavory type of woman;
Or you could d) Yell at me for abuse and sue me for physical harm.7

Which ever way you take it, isn’t of concern at the moment, what is of concern (besides who’s winning the war and which celebrity dated the other) is one simple fact that sums up most of what you see in the news and soaps of today. 8

Everything is a matter of perspective.9

Those six words make up one of the most looked over concepts of our time. Everything you know, everything you think, is all a matter of perspective. And from a playground fight over who’s pencil that originally was to even the War on Terrorism, it’s all a matter of perspective. Even in religion, it’s all a matter of perspectives. If you take a look at nature, it does have perspectives. You don’t have the ants of the world rallying togeather, proclaiming birds are evil and should be annihilated... all though I did used to know a chicken who in my opinion was the devil incarnate. But that’s not the point. The birds eat the bugs, so the bugs attack, right?
I fail to see the armies swarming towards the trees with their intent to kill.