My Darling

My Dear Darling,1

Whenever you're near, I feel like I am a part of something. Whenever you're near, I feel special, like a songbird is carrying me high into the air, flying endlessly into the rays of sun beyond the horizon. My hear beats rapidly, my eyes trickle with flowing tears, like a waterfall has come within me, with no way to escape. I get excited, my hands shake like a powerful earthquake has overtaken me, as I dream of cuddling you in my arms, whispering in your ear, feeling the strong bond whenever I look into your bright, starlit eyes. My toes tickle with a warm sensation like lava is flowing within, touching every inch of my body. My darling, I am so in love with you, yet, you have no idea. You don't even notice me, as I try to grab your attention and pull you back, within my firm grasp. Darling, I hope you love me back, oh, my sweet darling.2

I love you,3

Sincerely, Your Unforgettable Lover

Author notes

7-long-letter word to describe me:
awesome Username: Kat23

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • toolenduso
    June 4, 2008

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    Huh. I don't really know what to say about this, as it's incredibly short. I mean, it makes sense that it's short, it's just different than the others I've been reading. Which is good.

    So, I'll judge this for what it is. And it is very powerful. The descriptions are awesome, and it's very poetic. However, it felt a bit unrealistic with the unrelenting romantic side of it all. It felt as if it was written for the object, rather than for the object from the author, if you get what I'm saying.

    Thanks for entering, though! Good luck!

    Style: 7/10
    Flow: 9/10
    Uniqueness: 2/5
    Readability: 6/7
    Effect: 7/10
    Lack of Errors: 3/3
    Personal Score: 3/5
    Total: 37/50


  • just-a-lonely-girl
    May 21, 2008
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    this was very well written. It made me smile at the beginning. Nicely done.
    ~kit


  • Reaver Greeters member
    May 13, 2008

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    Very Well Done

    This was very beautifully written. Exceptionally thoughtful. Few comma blunders, but that can be overlooked on the whole. It was almost like a poem in the way it read, Very enjoyable. Sometimes, i kinda thought if this were a real letter, the person sounded obsessed, but that is just an opinion. You seem to have a powerful command in the way your words come to you. Good work!
    ~D


  • Miss Belligerence
    May 3, 2008

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    I'm sorry but this, to me, seemed a little creepy. I've had things like this written to me and they were by stalker-boys. I feel like your imagery was a little cliche, especially the bit about the tears flowing like a waterfall. You might want to expnad this a bit and explain the love, that might make it seem less creepy if there was actual context. Also, try throwing in the name of the person its to.
    thanks for entering
    -gibson


  • always feel pretty
    April 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Awww. That was soo sweet and I loved it.

    Great job on this and thanks for being the first one to enter my contest!

    ericaxoxo


  • SympatheticMisery
    April 8, 2008

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    Aww, I absolutely loved this! It was so sweet, and it just has the ability to warm your heart^^ The story was beautiful, and it was full of beautiful emotion. Good luck, and thank you for joining my contest!

  • mysterydragon
    March 27, 2008

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    i love this. short, sweet, and simple. its such a beautiful letter. the description is so detailed too. the entire thing is just amazing and sad.


  • Melli
    March 24, 2008
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    Full of emotions, touching. it was good. :]


  • taylor-swift13
    March 13, 2008
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    This was great. the description was awesome.


  • Miki Koishikawa
    March 11, 2008
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    Good

    This was very good and you should win the contest.


  • lovableReese
    March 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this was full of emotion. It is very good.


  • Crying Angel Eyes
    February 29, 2008
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    This is sweet thank you so so much... this was awasome


  • Shadow06
    February 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like the way you wrote this story in the style of a love letter. Very creative.

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