She wants to be accepted, she wants to be heard.
She wants to be listened to, and understood.
She wants people to know exactly what she's thinking when they arrogantly put her down. 1
I, I am the "freak".
I am the shy Goth girl who sits with her friends, painting on her smile, only wanting to be noticed for who she really is and not what people tell her what they THINK she is.2
Everyday, words like "Emo", "Satanic freak", "Depressed girl" and "Psycho" get thrown around like I can't hear them. Like I am the one who has disappointed everyone because my life choice is not suitable or satisfactory to the wants and expectations of others.3
I am not a satanist, nor am I an Emo. I am sure- and I do not hesitate to say this at all- that there is more than just one Goth in the world and more than just me who knows this.4
"She is alone, alone in her world
Wishing for those who can cure her wounds
Wounds been caused by words unfurled
She stares into night in awe of the moon..."5
Goth is something you don't just become. It's not a phase you go through. It's something you appreciate, understand, and become one with. You are at peace with darkness...6
You are not depressed all the time. You do not worship evil superior powers. And last of all, you do not cut yourself and pretend to be "hardcore" because you're always seeking attention. We look for no such thing, as to be so superficial and shallow is not of our custom.7
We are the children of the shadows, the quiet ones in the eve, the sons of many a god. We do not follow a set plan for our lives, we are free. We do not live under the guidance of what people who know nothing about us say. We are individual humans, with independent minds. 8
"Seek us as you seek yourself
For days in and days out
We will be the ones in stealth
And redeem our hearts from hated pouts..."9
I will not succumb to changing for anyone, this is who I am.10
I don't take drugs, I don't go out in the middle of the night drinking and sleeping with people, I don't steal, I don't break the law. I am a good person, and just because how I dress may persuade you to think otherwise, it does not mean you are right.11
I have heard from many people that Goths are horrible and evil and do bad things to others and break the law. Well, my friends, this is completely incorrect. I hate to break it to you, but we are just normal beings. I am not sorry if I crushed your hopes and dreams by telling you that just because we're different doesn't mean we are bad, but it needed to be said.12
All I ever asked was that someone would look at me and realise that I'm not what they all think. 13
I was never the popular girl, never the person who everyone looked up to and wished they were. I never wanted to be that girl, but the scars I bare emotionally from the torturous hate I received was enough to shy me from the world.14
...
I am not the Emo, with the blackened eyes
I am not the satanist who Christians most despise
I am not the freak girl with weird, sadistic thoughts
I am only who I am- the stared at always, without glee
I am me, only wishing from this torment, to be free
...15
Author notes
Okay, especially written for this contest, I decided to take a different approach and combine a poem with a longer piece of essay/persuasive type of writing.
I detest any sort of judgment thrown towards any human being. I find that being called EMO is probably the most offensive term that anyone could ever use. To me, Emo is something you grow out of, it's just a phase that lot's of teenagers go through because it is, indeed, a hard time in your life. I find that from past experiences, Emo is ridiculous, pointless and selfish.
I wanted to enter this contest because I want the world to come to the realisation that Goths are not evil, satanic, evil-loving, depressed people who take drugs, get high, sleep around and drink.
We are normal people just like the rest of you.
I am a girl.
A contest entry
- Ever Been Judged? by Taylor Renee.
425 points, ended April 17, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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i love it
i agree with what ur saying
its true
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I absolutely love this.
It has this...Gentle Power is the fist word that comes to my mind....to it.
It's like; you show exactly what you mean, and get your point and hurt across perfectly without viciously attacking the reader.
It's brilliant.
I love it.
I'm sorry people judge you and talk about you like that. They don't deserve to even know you. And they don't.
Really great job here. Thanks so much for taking the time for my contest, the writing, poem, and story, is beautiful.
Good luck.
xoxo
-♥-
Tay
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I am not the Emo, with the blackened eyes
I am not the satanist who Christians most despise
I am not the freak girl with weird, sadistic thoughts
I am only who I am- the stared at always, without glee
I am me, only wishing from this torment, to be free
EVERY single pin point I felt you fuel with anger, love and appreication and respect for youself ... I have the utte most repect for every word that you have written here and back you up 100% , 110% in supporting goths and there right to live as free individuals without the shallowness and narsastic manner of the world...
Triley people are sheltered and I think you did an outstanding job at standing up for not onl you but goths everywhere... i am so proud of you girl
I quote- chris isacs and h.i.m wicked game lyrics.. this world is only going to break you heart...
It is these sterotical, hypercrictical bastards of this world that bring people like you and myself down ... that is why this world will break our heart...
But we must stand strong ... they are weak in treating us like lesser people , while yet they expect us to treat them with respect...
You love you and I think that is just inspirational...
Love blair
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Thank you so much, blair.
Your words are truly inspirational and motivating... I thank you for each and every thing you have helped me with and guided me through.
Thank you for commenting on this story, it means a lot.
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I know so many of my friends, who are goths, who would completely agree with you on this poem-one of them is usually more happy and hyped up than me, I'm the depressed one lol
I hope more ignorant-minded people read this, I have been on the abusive end of verbal bullying as well, and it disgusts me.
This was a very emotional piece, and I hope more people just see you for the girl you are, lol
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Yeah. I have copped this torment for the whole time I have been a goth basically... and it is not fun.
I knew I wasn't the only one! haha YAY.
But yeah, on a more serious note, it IS pretty disgusting the things people say and do because of it.
Thanks for the comment and kind words!
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Interesting. Veeery interesting.
Can't say I've ever thought about Goth's that way (as in, satanic, blah blah blah blah!) But can understand why some people don't like them, they can look rather scary. And all it takes for a people group that looks scary, is one person to ruin a good reputation, like one Goth does something nasty, and people, just 'cause they don't like Goth's will apply that to all Goth's and say they're horrible people.
I think I only noticed one typo "who Christians most despise" Think that's a must. Gotta say, I'm a Christian, and I sure don't despise Goth's. Indeed, they have the best genre of music on the planet
Anyway, a good little piece, I enjoyed (if that word could be used accurately to describe reading a piece like that) reading it.
Keep writing! \m/
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Yes, that's right. It only takes one person to ruin something that was never bad in the first place.
I get called emo, satanist etc everyday.. EVERY SINGLE DAY... and i am neither! haha it is really upsetting, actually.
Thank you for the comment =] -
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Mmmm. I find that the best way to cope with being different, and people bagging you for it, is with a "Screw You" kind of out look. It helps a lot I find.
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haha, yeah. it has worked for me in the past but it still hurts you and you cant really escape that because its in you...
its hard to explain but yes, i know what you mean by having that kind of attitude towards beings like that.
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How fascinating, I know nothing of the Goth way of living. You have given me some good insight. I do not judge others, for I have been judged. Often adversely. I'm so pleased to have read this and the bonus for me was that it was extremely well written. Well done, you explained yourself beautifully.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thank you very much!
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