A Simple Twist of Fate, or, Crisis In Three Fifty One1
Mrs. Tupberry saw them at it first and called the principal's office. She was screaming of devil worship, public sex and other incoherent indecencies. Mr. Plaider wih several secretaries in hot pursuit blasted his way down the hall knocking the janitor, Uncle Crawker, off his feet and through the swinging doors of the cafeteria kitchen. He slid across the floor in the stale french fry grease and ended up on his back between the feet of Miss. Grimsley who was wearing the green dress again. He screamed.2
Mr. Plaider continued on, to room three fifty one where Mrs. Tupberry had reported the abomination in progress. Sure enough there they were; writhing and twisting on the floor. This head was between that set of legs; that arm dangerously close to that bosum.3
"Drugs!" he thought, "Mind control. Booze." He burst into the room and confronted Jenny Sands who seemed to be manipulating some kind of a control device.4
"What in the sweet name of Jesus is going on in here?" he shrieked.5
"Gee Mr. Plaider we were playing Twister. This is the Games Club.6
Author notes
Umm. Cafeteria food is better editorialised than eaten.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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I have seen scenes no less confusing. I wondered at the 'racy' label, but, 'Different strokes for different folks.' I say.
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great
Lol I could not figure why a newspaper would consider this racy. I looked up the contest and then the person running the contest and saw he was 13 it was a middle school contest. Anyway that made me laugh at his qualifications as editor in chief but it didn't explain how this entry was considered too racy. Go figure, perhaps the word bosum I have no idea. A quirky short story that in my opinion was a tad too short. Of course you were playing within the contexts of a 200 word story. I would enjoy seeing the story increased y at least another 100 words. I really thought mr plaid was being pursued for by the secretaries at the beginning because he was the one responsible for mrs tupberrys antics. So I was a little confused on first and second reading. With a work this short it is so important to have it perfectly focused since readers are less forgiving of being confused than if the work is long and a reader expects to be kept in the dark for parts of the story. Anyway it was an engaging read and a good twist. A few helpful cues pointing out that Mr. Plaid was the principal would have been helpful to me. Of course I may have been the only one who thought mr plaid was to blame, that he had taken liberties with the secretaries, and was again finding himself between the legs staring up some woman's skirt. Thanks for writing. -
004
Contest Code
DISQUALIFICATION
Reason for disqualification:
This poem is too racy for the paper, please re-read the rules.
Thank you for entering the contest, unfortunately your entry has been eliminated from the running. We appreciate the effort you put into writing this piece for us. Best of luck in all that you may do!
-->aref -
She was wearing the green dress again because she always wore the green dress, or she had identical dresses so it seemed she was always wearing the green dress. He screamed because he saw what was up the green dress.
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I had to read it two times before i actually got it... and i'm still just a tad bit confused.. like why Miss. Grimsley was wearing the green dress again, and why he screamed.. i dunno, maybe i'm thinking too hard
It was good either or
-Karen Sue-
Romans 8:28
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I gotta thank the latest Imodium commercial for the inspiration.
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wonderful
Good job. I like your poem and I think you will win the contest! I like the way they were just playing twister... -
If the students were playing twister it would be more interesting if the girls were wearing skirts. Some schools have school uniforms and the skirts they wear are called kilts.
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Huh?
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I hope it's one of the schools where the gals wear those nice little kilts.
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We played "Twister" once in a social studies class of mine once a few years ago. We all pretty much laughed our asses off at all the shenanigans going on. Good luck.
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Aunt Bea used to call me 'The Wild Man From Borneo'.
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Very cute. Lets the imagination run wild for awhile. LOL Good luck. Patricia
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Hmm, I rearranged it a bit.
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good
Nicely written. I had a bit of trouble with one line. It probably made a lot of sense to you but to a reader it had some confusion:
That unfortunate was bowled into the cafeteria kitchen where he slid to a stop on his back between the feet of Miss. Grimsley who was wearing the green dress again.
Good luck.
John -
A lot of my writing is like that. Sometimes I make people read two thousand words before they realise what they're reading about.
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THat was a funny ending! really really good! I didnt quite understand what was going on at first but I kept reading and im glad i did cause tis is really funny!
~no1special~ -
There. Just for you I did more conventional punctuation. A beta? Isn't that a small fish?
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I love the first title. Also, I don't really know where the "mind control" came in. And devil worship from Twister? Hmm. One more thing, I think that maybe you should run this by a beta, or check it yourself for punctuation errors.
I like the twist--no pun intended.
~WhyA
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