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It had been a month since his last kill. The urge came creeping into his mind causing sweat to break out above his upper lip. His tongue snaked forth to capture the moisture. He planned to leave within the week. There was no desire in him to be caught, so it was time to move on to another city—another challenge. 2
Those thoughts were for the future, he decided, today was the here and now. He swallowed the remaining drops left in the takeout cup of coffee. The car’s upholstery still smelled of factory newness, as he rubbed his gray sprinkled black hair against the plush headrest. Tapping long and manicured fingers on a leather steering wheel cover, he remembered the salesman’s expression when he paid cash for the car. 'Hey, man, I want a job like yours. What do you do for a living?’ 3
"Hunt."4
He commenced the hunt at about two that afternoon. The predator preferred college age women for prey, so he usually did his hunting on campuses. He grinned now. ‘My vocation.’5
The windows of the sliver-gray Audi were halfway down. The car was parked in the campus parking lot. A comfortable 73 degrees on a pleasant spring day, a slight breeze coming from the west played in his short spiked salt and pepper hair.6
He waited patiently for his next mission. There was a time, he recalled, when he’d been so nervous and anxious, the palms of his hands sweated as he waited. It was not that way anymore. Oh sure, each hunt was exciting, but nothing like it had been in the beginning. Now it mimicked 'Just another day at the office.' He smiled and winked the extra long lashes of his right eye. For an instant a sunbeam flashed in the windshield, and reflected itself in the ice blue irises so pale they nearly faded into the whites. ‘Killer eyes’ his mother smiled when she said it to him as a boy, but in later life he began to wonder if she knew. 7
Occasionally a person came to the parking lot, got in their car, and drove away. He saw them, often they were women, but none interested him. He waited patiently for a certain young, attractive woman. He’d know her the moment he saw her. She'd be beautiful and petite, preferably brunette but a blonde would suffice if she were slim and nicely developed. 8
The radio dial was set to a classic rock station. He popped the tab on a coke, took a deep drink; and then lit a Camel. The Moody Blues were playing 'Night's In White Satin' as he took a drag from his cigarette. It was a pleasant way to spend the time.9
It was near three O’clock, when he saw her. She left building C and her dark-brown hair bobbed as she pranced across the asphalt. “Yes, yes, yes,” he whispered. She was perfection. He wasn’t going to strike out. Tight faded cutoff jeans hugged her slender hips and a snug blue knit shirt emphasized her shapely breasts. As the shirt pulled up and down with her motion, he caught glimpses of lightly tanned flesh.10
She yanked open her car door and parked her delightful bottom on the seat, so he engaged the Audi’s ignition. When she settled behind the steering wheel and closed the door, he slipped the Audi into drive. When her engine coughed a bit and the wheels started to turn, he let up on the brake. She was driving some kind of white Japanese car that looked like the typical box with wheels. Her backup lights came on, and he prepared for the chase. 11
He stayed about 3/4 of a block behind her, trying to keep at least one car between them. It wouldn't do to allow her to spot the tail. After about a fifteen-minute drive, she pulled into an apartment complex. Luck was with him; there was a parking spot on the street in front. In a few seconds he was out of the Audi and into the lot of the complex in time to see his quarry enter apartment 115 on the ground floor.12
He hurried back to his car, drove around the block and entered the driving lot on Northside lane. He circled around and parked close to his prey’s entrance. 3:15 pm made it the perfect time of day. The majority of people were still at work while, children were prisoners of school buses. His mouth creased in a side grin. It was daylight and evil only lurks in the dark.13
Now it didn’t matter if she saw his car. He left it and walked openly to her door and rapped.14
Without any hesitation, she pulled open the unlatched door. "Yes? What can I do for you?" 15
Up close she smelled of mint and lingering lemon, perhaps from an earlier shower. There was a small brown and white terrier leaping at her side. A bigger more unruly dog would have made the man change plans. But fortunately for him this was not the barking kind of mutt; instead the little fellow licked the man’s shoe.16
With his left hand he grabbed the small dog’s collar and lifted him in the air. While the fingers of his right hand grabbed the front of the girl’s shirt, his bent knee came up into her belly shoving her back into the apartment. Stepping in quickly, he kicked the door shut behind him.17
Panic raced across the brown eyes as she squealed, “Why?What?” like it was one word.18
“Shut the fuck up!” He held the struggling mutt in the air, fightened to breathe while he shook it. “You scream and I’ll break the dog’s neck.”19
“No, please, don’t hurt him.”20
“That depends on you—little girl—depends on you.” He slurred the words suggestively. “Just how bad do you want ta live?” He let loose of the dog’s collar and the terrier fell injury-hard against the floor, yipped, and scurried under a couch. He still held the girl’s shirt. An easy hundred pounds heavier, he twisted the shirt and pulled her closer. His free hand grabbed the back of her hair. “You and me gonna party, babe. You play real sweet and we’ll all walk away in one piece.”21
He yanked her around to face the front door. “Lock it!”22
As trembling fingers tried to turn the lock, the golden brown eyes flooded with tears and she choked on the sobs in her throat.23
“Lock it bitch!” He yanked so hard on her hair that her scalp split in places so blood tinted her hair green. His other hand pulled her shirt up to muffle the scream of pain.24
Her tone dropped into a pitiful wail, “I’m trying.” and she succeeded.25
He glanced around the apartment, breathed in the feminine scent of her as he held her tight in one arm while he sucked at her neck. “Gonna play real nice.” He spotted the door on the left. Ajar, he could see the pattern of rose and gold that winked at him from the bedspread. “Nothing like an afternoon rump in the sack.” A deep snicker followed a coarse laugh.26
The injured pup moaned under the couch as the man dragged its owner, her feet barely touching the ground, to the bedroom. Tossing her on the bed face up, he yanked off her shoes and socks. Then reached up and pulled the stretchy top over her head. “Nice.” He paused to squeeze her breasts through the pink lacy bra.27
“Please don’t hurt me,” she begged.28
“Little girl, I’m gonna give you the screwing of your life.” He laughed and slapped her face so hard her head whipped back and forth twice, and she nearly passed out. Next he pulled off her jeans and ran his palms up the smooth silky flesh of her legs. He pinched her inner thighs to force her legs apart. Grabbing the crotch of the pink panties, he tore them off. 29
Then he undressed while he kept telling her the things he was going to do to her, as if he expected her to be grateful.30
For less than half an hour, his hands and mouth abused her. He forced her to kiss him back, to respond and then he violated her. 31
Swinging off the bed, his hand swept the nightstand and scattered her silly knickknacks to the floor. She lay silently huddled in a fetal curve on the bed as he dressed. Taking her wallet from the dresser, he relieved it of the credit cards and fifty-three dollars in cash. Pulling the cord from the lamp he stepped back to hover over her again. She whimpered—it was all she could do. Her throat had closed up and her tears were spent.32
“Tell yah what. You been a good girl—so I’m not gonna hurt yah. I’m gonna tie you up and put you and your little doggie in the closet. I won’t tie you tight. You can get loose in an hour or so. First, off, you give me the pin numbers for these.” He waved the credit cards in front of her eyes. “Don’t lie—cause I’m giving myself an hour. One don’t work, I’ll be back and you are gonna be one sorry bitch!”33
“123me works for them all,” she forced out the information.34
“Okay, roll over.” 35
She never saw the switch blade. He held her face in a pillow, her arms flailed helplessly until there was no strength left and the blood still flowed from a dozen wounds.36
When he was certain she was dead, he took her engagement ring from her finger. From the living room he confiscated the 28-inch flat screen TV and deposited it in the Audi’s trunk. He came back for the stereo and laptop. “So long pup,” he called to the mutt still hidden somewhere.37
Out of the glove compartment, he got dark glasses and a baseball cap for his sojourns through the ATM machines. The women never lied to him. A bank debit MC card, an Amex and Visa, should net him around a couple thousand or more.38
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 51 of 51
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Great write
Great write, creepy as heck though. You have a really twisted mind!!
There are just a few things I’d like to critique if I could. This is my opinion.
The duplication of description is distracting. I kept going back and reading again thinking I missed something. Like graying black hair, his salt and pepper hair. Also why does he have long manicured nails?
Your lost touch with the main character at times. Like a distance had been reached or he entered a place you couldn’t follow. It was as if you were pulling you punches. In paragraphs 29 and 30 you start strong and then fizzle.
“Then he undressed while he kept telling her the things he was going to do to her, as if he expected her to be grateful.”30
Maybe this would illustrate what I mean.
“Slowly he undressed drinking her in, her fear exciting him. She would love him, he knew it. They all loved it they just wouldn’t admit it. The whores… ect”
You get my meaning. More from him, what he thinks and feels. What he wants. More of a sense of WHO HE IS…
Here are two other things I noticed.
By 19) You will see Fightened, is it frightened or maybe fighting?
By 24) He yanked so hard on her hair that her scalp split in places, blood tinted her hair green.
It seemed forced the other way.
Anyway that is my opinions, hope they help you. Over all though I thought it was a wonderful creepy reading experience.
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Hi, just to add a thank you for reading and commenting, to what Andy said.
We appricate and take seriously any suggestions and it's 'Grand' when a 'Critter' takes time to point out our booboo
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Hope we have hooked you and you will continue to read.
Geri
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Interesting Ideas,
We may incorporate them. We're working on the second draft of this now, titled, 'The Devil Came East'. Geri and I started on this novel about ten months ago. It has really blossomed into a different story through its progression. If you'd like, you might compare it to the prologue on Geri's page. I'll get you the link, if you'd like.
Thanks so much for reading, commenting, all the applause, and the suggestions. I really appreciate it.
Andy
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This has to be one of the most violent pieces i have read in a long time. This creep is gonna need some air vents in that scummy head of his. Damned shame he killed her, but i am so glad he didn't kill the little dog. Damned! This was so full on, i am still trying to let it settle in my head. I would hate to run across someone like this. (I'm a brunette...AAAAAhhhhh!). Think I'll dye it purple! lol!!!!!. I am so glad the violence here doesn't extend to all of the chapters. I normally read these just before going to bed, and that is not happening now! I'll have nightmares. Can't say i saw anything to pass on to fix....If there was anything, the brain didn't register it. You are so good. A masterpiece of brilliance. Well done! I'm afraid this is gonna deserve a reward from me. Goodnight my friend.
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Sorry, wasn't trying to keep you awake.
Thanks very much for enduring the beginning. I hope you are able to get some rest. Geri took my little story and enhanced it to make it much more vivid. She does that all the time, but in this case, it was rather vicious.
A little murder and mayhem doesn't affect my sleep
. I used to read a mystery novel a day, way back in 1978.
Andy
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Wow. I really think that you out did yourself, to be honest. Of course, I don't know you, so saying as to whether you outdid yourself is rather judgmental that this point. This piece is very vivid....very realistic. It's sad that he killed her...but what about the dog? Does he not kill dogs? Interesting.....
Well done! Good luck in the contests you've entered. I really think you'll win something with this piece. I hope he gets his come-uppins, if you know what I mean?
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Thanks
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it. This is the beginning of Secret Radio Murders that is a novel I am co-writing with gerifitzsimmons.
After he was done threatening to kill the dog, he was finished with it, so he didn't kill it.
We haven't reached the end of the novel, so I can't tell you if he gets his. He is rather a mean killer, though.
Andy -
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He's definitely mean. Of course, that is what you want him to come across as to us, the readers, so A+ on that. IM me when you post more.
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Actually,
There are 23 chapters so far not counting the prologue. You can go to the next chapter by clicking the link at the bottom of the story at the links 'Secret Radio Murders - next in list'. I hope you like the rest of the story. We appreciate your interest.
Andy
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True Life Scary!
3 as he rubbed (his ?) gray sprinkled
6 A comfortable 73 degrees on a pleasant spring day, a slight breeze coming from the west played in his short spiked salt and pepper hair. (The first part seems… idk a little awkward and you mentioned his hair color only 2 paragraphs up…
13 It was daylight and evil only lurks in the dark. Frightening!!!! Love it!!!
16 Up close she smelled of mint and lingering lemon perhaps from an earlier shower ( do you need a comma by "perhaps" ?)
19 breathe
24 green? Didn't know it would do that.
29 panties (,)
Horrifically real!!! The man's plans and plotting were devious and totally believable. This is really scary! Flow moves great, excellent character development on the part of the unnamed man. The only part I found hard to believe was that the girl didn't try to scream more since she didn't even see a weapon though.
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Thanks
Thanks for reading, commenting, and the corrections. I appreciate it. It seems to be difficult to comb out all the mistakes. I'll try to get this corrected.
She didn't want him to hurt her puppy, that's probably why she didn't fight more.
Andy -
I just wanted to offer a quick thank you for the nice comments and the goofs you found Geri
Andy
We hope you will continue to enjoy the story.
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I do admire the way you describe things you have a good handle on description because I think you use your senses and it comes of as bringing the reader directly into the story...feeling the emotions as well as reactions from the characters and their surroundings.
It reminded me though a lot of the olden day classics to view... DO not ask me why just a feeling I got from the atmosphere maybe even if not intended.
I just watched a show before about a husband murdering his wife and daughter with a pillow and it made me visualize it in great extents..
I like this
As you know these kinds of stories are my favourite.
Thanks for entering
GOOD LUCK
Blair
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Thanks Blair
I'm very glad that you like this story. Geri is responsible for fleshing out this story. She is great at description.
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, and applauding. I appreciate it. I hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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Did I never actually comment on this for real? Blah!
The way you phrase things is interesting. Sometimes I find myself wanting to change phrases, but it's always just stylistic tweakery. Can't fault you for having a different style, can I? Others have pretty much already brought up anything else I was going to say -- fun little gorefest you got here! XD
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Thanks
We put most of the gore in the prologue. The story which follows is developing nicely. Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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nice :]]
haha wow i liked this a lot ^^ did u really have to hurt the poor puppy that much though? :[[ haha i was like "awwwwww not the puppy!!" xD
. Rewarded 4
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Thanks
I'm glad you like this. The puppy wasn't seriously injured, but his master was. Thanks for reading, commenting, and applauding. I appreciate it.
Andy
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Superb
This is fantastic writing! Believable, palpable - I'm going to have to find the rest of this story to keep reading. I wish I had more to say, but I'm kind of blown away. The only thing that I noticed was the killer's language. At first reading he seemed rather intelligent, but when he spoke it was more laid back, - more... stupid? - I guess. Sorry but I can't find the right word. Maybe he's just playing the part, but why would he have to fake anything if he knows he's going to kill her. Just a weird observation.
. Rewarded 8
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To answer your question, even though I'm not the author: In real life, killers very often lie to their victims. Some of them are simply habitual liars, who do so whether there's a need or not. Other times it's a way of controlling the victim by managing their perception of the killer, and/or getting them to let their guard down. Some people get a sense of power from lying to others and getting away with it, and killing, especially serial murder, is very much about power.
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Thanks
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it. If you want to follow this story, go to the bottom of the story where it says 'Secret Radio Murders - next in list'. Click either of those links and it will take you to more of the story. I'm glad you like this story. Thanks again for reading.
Andy
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I am commenting on the first 12 chapters. This story is better than anything I have written, so my hat is off to you. But I think it lacks something, and I am not sure what. There are perhaps too many characters to keep track of, and the POV is maybe too objective, too "outside." I realize this is a police procedural, but it still needs a distinct narrative voice or a strong central character. Maybe you could focus more on one particular character, Farley or Dr. Harris. Put yourself inside that person while you are writing, maybe. Really, I don't know what to do or how to do it, but it is hard for me to get interested in the clues (cigarettes, cups, fingernails, hair color, eyelashes, etc.) because somehow I haven't yet found any person to identify with. The cuckoo clock thing intrigues me for some reason, so I like that. I also like the way you convey the details of police and radio work convincingly. The dialog is very good too. I relate more to narration than dialog, but that is just me. I picture this story working on TV or as a movie, but for print it needs something more than what it has. However, I would not be reading and criticising if I didn't think the story was well written and had potential. Really a good job of writing.
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Thanks
Thanks very much for following through on what we have so far. Chapter thirteen has been posted now, chapter fourteen will probably be posted on Sunday.
We do have a lot of characters, but the main character is probably Farley. Neil and the killer are also heavily focused on. I think we are just about finished adding characters. Geri likes dropping in new ones, so she may slip in another one or so
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I'm not sure what we can do to change it. There will probably not be more characters, but there will be more description of the existing characters. Hopefully that will re-enforce the storyline.
Andy
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Good Start!
The first paragraph was already very revealing - our friend needs IT so badly, his urge is almost palpable.
However he can suppress himself. He wouldn't be content with just ANY girl, it must be THE girl... or at least one that fits his prey scheme.
He appears to be the average guy to the outside so no one really seems to take care of him. He fits into the larger puzzle. He is unobtrusive enough; he knows how to cover himself because he already does it long enough, the killings.
However he gets a bit... sloppy. People remember it when you pay an Audi with cash, whether you're in the US, Germany or elsewhere and boast with your richness, see? After I read the end it made click. He kills the young women for his personal, sick pleasure and then clears their accounts and buys his "accessories". If not or not complete it left one wonder where he has all the money from. Audi's expensive. ;)He's also very perceptive and aware of his surroundings what's surely useful to plan ahead his crimes. Nevertheless it's figurative suicide and at the same time brilliant how and when he strikes. He literally does it in front of all people and maybe that'll break his neck in the end. He's too self-conconscious. Even if most people are still at work or children at school what about elder people who're sitting in their flat looking out of the window or hearing the girls screams when he hurts her? Very risky... maybe therefore he acts this way.
For such a murderer his preying period NEVER gets "like another day in the office", see? For them these feelings, the stress (do I get caught or not?), the adrenaline, the thrill to kill someone is like a drug. They're addicted to it and sometime will be caught because they had to use more and more risky behaviors to get them, see? Interesting is that the killing itself isn't the goal these men seek, just the "foreplay". The killing ends his "fix" and therefore's rather disappointing.
The girl I have to say is either naive, stupid or tired of life or maybe all three? How can you as a woman living alone in an anonymous city open the door to the first man who knocks on your damn door!? I don't get it.
How she must pay for it however is gruesome. Although you weren't as graphic as you could be the mere imagination of the deed made me cringe as well as when he hurt the dog. I don't only say this because I love dogs, but also because it shows the killers sadistic trait. He enjoys it to threaten and push the girl around. He paralyzes her will to defend herself with bombing her with all the gruesome things he wants to do to her.
Maybe therefore she didn't fight him more active; not only because she was shocked at how quickly the situation suddenly changed against her but also because he most certainly told her things she'd never even imagined before. Maybe however she also thought the lesser she fights him the more likely he lets her get away. Many victims think this way and very often they're right.
When he took the girl's credit cards I wondered if he was nuts. The moment someone discovers that her wallet is free of them police would trace them and somehow find him - don't know exactly about the technics, sorry, I'm rather the psych here. :D
But when the blade appeared I knew it would make no difference. It was truly sadistic how he set her hope to survive high by telling her this crap with tying her and the dog up and stuffing them into the closet so he had enough time to get off. No one with a functioning brain in his / her head would actually believe that - but in such a situation NO ONE thinks rationally.
In fact she'd seen him all the time - no cloth over her eyes or something - and he'd done nothing to hide his identity. It's a logical conclusion that he has to kill her to get away otherwise he'd be downright stupid.
That was a real good hook - and I'll be ba-hack soon. :D
. Rewarded 8
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Thanks
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it.
Paying for an Audi in cash would be remembered, but though unusual, is not illegal.
Striking during the day draws less attention because most people are at work or school. Of course, it is possible there might be some nosey seniors at home who'd take notice. However, using fictional license, he gets away with the crime.
The poor woman was not expecting anything to happen to her, so she opened the door.
Hopefully you'll like where it goes from here.
Andy
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It seems well written. No real plot or purpose yet, no character development. I guess that will come later, since this is a prologue. A good start, though
. Rewarded 4
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Thanks
This is just the opening scene, kind of a shocker if you will. The story is developing nicely. We have twelve chapters at this time. I hope you will continue with us for a bit and see if we can justify your effort. I believe it is a good story, especially if you like murder mystery or police procedural.
Thanks for reading and commenting. We appreciate it.
Andy
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Wow this is some awesome writing. I really enjoy reading about characters that are not likable, but through the writing you can't help but the empathize with them. This piece does its job as a prologue, it made me instantly intrigued to read on. I like this premise, and I look forward to reading more.
. Rewarded 6
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Thanks
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it.
I have a lot of villains in my writing. Most get away with their crimes, though some do not. It depends on my mood, of course.
This story is being written with Geri Fitzsimmons. We haven't decided whether the killer will be caught or not as yet. I hope you will want to follow along as we develop the story.
Andy
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I'm freaked out - this the kind of thing you dream up, Andy?
Good story, anyhow, even if the content were slightly disturbing.
This *is* a predator .. whoa..
I so want to shoot him.
Cheers,
Enjoyable read.
R.
. Rewarded 4
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Yep.
I did rather dream up most of the prologue, but Geri gave it sparkle. It's been team effort ever since. I think Geri actually contributes more to it than I do. She's a great writer.
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it.
Andy
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This was very good and scary, and it has to be good to scare me. It seems very relistic I might lock my door before I go to sleep now lol.
. Rewarded 4
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Thanks
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it. I'm glad you like this story. Scared you? I guess we did well, then.
Andy
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What I think? Well first of all, I'm kind of scared... *laughs* This was terrifyingly realistic, and it really gave me shivers a couple of times. One thing, though - as a graduate student who was very recently a college student, I can say that I don't know a single college student who has enough money to have a nice apartment of their own, pay for the care of an animal, have a big TV, stereo and laptop, and still have money in the bank. College kids are poor! Either that, or I'm REALLY going to the wrong schools... *laughs* Anyways, this was very well-constructed and creepy. And despite being rather scared by it, I did enjoy the read. Nicely done. Below are a couple of small things I noticed while reading, if you're interested.
* para 20: Is there a reason there's a question mark in this sentence?
* 21: I think "injury-hard" should be hyphenated, to let people know it's a single two-word adjective.
* 26: Capitalize the first letter of your dialogue, since they are the beginnings of sentences.
. Rewarded 8
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Thanks
Thanks for reading and commenting. It tones done and becomes more interesting in the chapters which follow.
Hmm. I thought some college students had money or well-to-do families. I was one of the poor ones.
Thanks for finding our errors. I'll read it over again and correct them.
Andy
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Omg really well done. Very nice indeed. Drawn into the intensity of this. Whew. My hearts racing my pulse threw the rouf. this is very impressive writing.
. Rewarded 4
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Thanks Fizbop
This is a collaboration between myself and gerifitzsimmons. I think it is going well. I'm very glad you were impressed by it. Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. We appreciate it.
Andy
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oooh, creepy. I kind of agree with Mazzon' comment below me, if you made the man sound classy when he talked like how you describe him in the beginning, it would be a lot creepier. but this was good. congrats and good luck!
. Rewarded 4
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Thanks
I entered this because the way it is written, though it is a prologue, it can stand alone as a story. I felt it was as good as any story I had. Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, and applauding. I appreciate it.
Andy
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You write well, but the killer feels a bit plain to me. Abusive basic bad guy, talks rude, rapes, kills and robs, no personal twist or flair. On the whole, I'm not seeing much why I'd want to hear any more about this person. Could be just personal tastes though.
. Rewarded 6
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Thanks
So just your typical serial killer? Yes, I guess that's true. He changes in the next killing, but this is suppose to wet the appetite. Thanks for reading and commenting. We appreciate it.
Andy
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OWWW
That was a rough one. Very descriptive and believable. What did you say you did for a living? (Only kidding) Good plot and a good lesson about answering door knocks.
. Rewarded 4
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Thanks
I am semi-retired. I like to consider my vocation writing, though I make no money at it. I haven't killed anybody lately, though I might bore someone to death Is that a crime?
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. We appreciate it.
Andy
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Dang
Oh wow! Im not sure if I had commented on this or not but just in case I will say this:
There's something about the way you write your suspense, crime stories that just gives me that sense of apprehension for wanting to know what's going to happen next like, "What's gonna happen....." Keep up the good writing
Rae
. Rewarded 6
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Thanks
I don't think that you'd commented on this one before. Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. We appreciate it.
This novel is a collaboration between gerifitzsimmons and myself, so it should be different from my usual writes. I hope that you'll like it. Maybe we can keep you wondering what's coming next.
Andy
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Hmm, interesting. I really like the way you described everything so the reader could picture it in their mind quite clearly (something I really applaud to). I'm really glad the fella didn't kill the pup too, I'm a sucker for injured pets. I'd like to see the rest of the book soon, I could see something really interesting starting from this.
--RT
PS: Audi is an excellent car brand.
. Rewarded 8
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So you like the killer's tastes in cars Geri was responsible for that. I didn't want to alienate the pet lovers, so I couldn't let him kill the doggy. Geri and I do hope that you will follow the story. Chapters 1 & 2 are already posted.
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. We appreciate it.
Andy
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This was good. I mean that. I felt caught up in the story, wondering what was going to happen. I hope you do decide to continue this. It'd be really interesting what happens. Good job with this. God Bless!
. Rewarded 4
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Thanks
I'm glad that you're caught up in this story. Geri and I are planning to continue with this, in fact; we have completed chapters 1 & 2. We'd be very pleased if you follow our story. Thanks for reading and commenting. We appreciate it.
Andy
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Wow.
This isn't actually as gory as some of your other stuff, so I liked it better, there was a lot more plot :p
Are you going to carry on from this-what happens to him, is he found out? Why is he doing this?
Definately looking forward to reading more of this :)
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Thanks
Yes, Geri and I are planning to expand this into a novel. It is quite a challenge for me. I haven't completed a novel, so far. You like less gore? So does Geri. Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it.
Andy
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