I'm in love with a..ghost? [forty five!]

Three days has passed since I found out James' body was missing. I guess you could say I wasn't really getting anywhere with solving this whole mess either. It was a typical Thursday night, and as usual, I was in my room contemplating my next move.1

Now usually I'd march myself straight down to that hospital, crawl through the air ducts, and pop out in the room from my dream like some sort of grand espionage act, but the thing is, I wasn't sure which hospital it was, nor did I even know if James was actually there.2

And so I began to think of possible reasons why James might be in a hospital in the first place. There was no way he could be alive, he'd be over a hundred years old. And he couldn't be frozen, cryogenics wasn't invented until 1962. So I was stuck. I sat at my computer desk with my feet propped up, and pondered what the answer could be. “What am I overlooking?” I kept mumbling to myself over and over. “There has to be some explanation for this. Bodies that are dead and buried just don't go missing.” I was about to start looking up the nearest hospitals online when I heard that familiar *pop*.3

“Hey Ace,” James voice flowed into my ears, sounding smooth as silk. “What are you up to?” I glanced at him, fully aware that I had a strange expression on my face. “Something wrong?” he asked curiously.4

“No,” I replied confusedly. James turned and strode passed me to my bookshelf, interested in any new reads I might have for him. In doing so, he had confirmed what I already suspected. As he brushed past me I smelt the faint scent of mens cologne. No..I thought to myself, it had to be my imagination. James cannot smell like cologne.. he just can't. It's like everyone's been saying,I thought dismally, he's DEAD. And the last time I checked, dead guys- yea..they don't smell like soap and cologne.5

I swung myself around in the chair and eyed James in wonder. “Is this new?” he asked, seeming to not know he smelled amazing.6

He held up a thick, gray covered book for me to see,"Yea, picked it up in the library the other day,” I answered, restraining in my seat, and fighting the urge to go do something that might be categorized as rape.7

James smiled that smile that sends those stupid shivers down my spine. I smiled sweetly back and noticed he looked different today. His normally rolled up sleeves were let down, the cuffs unbuttoned at the wrist. His normally buttoned up shirt was left open at the top and bottom; only 3 tiny buttons blocked what otherwise would have been an exceptionally good view of his six pack. He seemed so..alive. And as great as that would be, it scared the hell out of me. “You okay?” his concerned voice echoed through my head. He had probably noticed me giving him yet another of my weird looks.8

Perfect.9

“Sure, just tired I guess. It's been a pretty long week at school..” I trailed off, noticing that when he moved his shirt moved with him, affording me a better view of his nicely defined pecs. I sounded lame even to my own ears and I knew James was stupid enough to buy that excuse.10

He knitted his brows together and stared hard at me,“Something's bothering you Kristin. I can tell from your eyes.” 11

Oh James yes! I screamed inside my head. Tell me all about my eyes! Tell me how much you love them and how gorgeous they are! Tell me how much you love me!12

“Nothing,” is what I actually said, “just sleep deprived.” I smiled feebly, feeling a blush creep into my normally pale face,and I tried to change the subject. 13

James didn't believe me though..I could tell, but being the gentleman he is, he didn't push the subject. “As long as your sure,” he said, sounding a bit disappointed that I was being less than truthful. “Any new leads on where my body could be?” 14

I smiled in spite of myself. In the entire time I'd been ghost busting I'd never been asked that question before. “That sounded strange even to myself,” he chuckled, his deep laugh reverberating throughout my bedroom. I noticed that when he laughed, his black-brown eyes seemed to laugh with him. He was such a happy person..er- ghost. It really wasn't fair he had to be dead. Maybe where his body is, isn't the only thing I don't know. James had been *alive*. And sure I had been right there with him, but that was a whole other lifetime ago. What did I really know about him? I knew his favorite color was green, and that he hated sailing. I knew he had a thing for apple pie, and that he had had two sisters. I even knew he had a german shepherd named Zeus. But what did I really *know* about him?15

I spun around in my computer chair again to face him,”Hey James?” 16

“Yes?” he questioned back as he ruffled the hair underneath Rootbeer's ears.17

“What's was your favorite song?” I asked looking from Rootbeer's shiny nose to James' dimly glowing face. He glanced up and looked at me for a long while. James had a faraway look in his eyes, as if he was reliving some grand moment he had had in his lifetime. He may have been looking at me, but past me is where I think he really was.18

After a minute or two of heavy silence he answered in an almost inaudibly, “Dreaming.”19

“Hmm?”20

“Just a ragtime song called 'Dreaming.'” he said softly. “You don't remember..” He murmured the words in a voice I'd never heard him use before. A voice that showed he knew he could never go back to those long slow nights of 1912. A voice that showed he wanted to be back. Maybe not in that era, but I knew something that James had yet to admit to even himself. 21

James wanted to be alive.22

“I guess not,” my voice came out,matching his. By this point I was sorry I had even asked the question. James who had been sitting on the edge of my bed, rose slowly, and half strode half floated to the bay window. I watched him, wanting to be able to help him. I knew he was reliving memories from his past. But what could I do? What could anyone do? James had passed long ago into the realm of the deceased. Long ago left the world of rules and matter. As I watched him I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time. 23

Sorrow.24

How difficult it must be to sit day in and day out, watching everyones lives pass you by. Watching everyone you know and love grow and die, and there's nothing you can do about it. And for the first time I really realized how that must have felt for him. James had had a family, friends. His body may have been dead but his soul still wasn't. He had to live with watching his family grieve, live, and die themselves. I realized then I wasn't staring at some ghost who just lived in my bedroom, I was staring at a soul of a person who had been ripped to soon from his life.25

I stood slowly and walked up behind James then, resting a soft hand on his broad shoulder. Nothing I could say could really comfort someone at a time like this, but maybe my touch was enough to let him know that someone still cared, that he wasn't alone. I stood next to him and squeezed his shoulder, watching. James didn't say a word, and he didn't have to. I could plainly see how he was feeling. 26

James stood by that window for a long time, the pale moon's light illuminating his ghostly figure even more. And I- I stood by his side until my room had grown dark, and everyone had long fallen asleep. Even the shadows that were cast by the dying sun had disappeared. It was then I promised myself I was going to figure this out whether it killed me or not. Ghosts or no ghosts, I was not letting anything bad happen to James this time. I was either going to have to let him go.. or bring him back to life. How that was going to happen.. I really don't know.27

********28

Friday morning came with cloudy skies and a 85% chance of showers, said the weather reporter. I woke up to find James had long since disappeared and that for once the weatherman was right. I smacked my alarm and sat up slowly in bed. What a lousy day this was going to be. Rain pelted down on the roof, and I shivered from the drafts in the house. I pulled my fuzzy robe over my pajamas and slowly made my way downstairs.29

“Morning Kristy, hungry?” Carol asked cheerfully, stirring her eggs in the frying pan. I shook my head in response and plopped down into a chair at the table. Carol (who had apparently finished making her toxic scrambled eggs) walked over to me and felt my forehead, “Wow Kristy you don't look so good, feeling alright?” I nodded this time and slouched in my seat, resting my chin inside my palm. She laid a bowl and spoon in front of me, “Well you should eat something anyways, long day of school ahead!”30

Now normally I would've had some sharp comeback or I would've rolled my eyes, but today..just wasn't happening. Upon her next demand I began pouring Fruitloops into my bowl, while in slouched Jake- Scooby boxer wearing, mouth breathing Jake. Letting out an enormous yawn (sounded more like a dump truck breaking down) he grabbed the Fruitloop box from my hand and walked over to his place at the table. And I..I didn't even care.31

“Whoa, what's up with her?” Jake asked Carol, genuinely surprised that I hadn't taken my shoe off and pelted him with it.32

Carol put her hand up in a just-leave-her-be-I-don't-know-what's- wrong sort of way and surprisingly Jake listened. That's how bad I looked, even Jake wasn't harassing me this morning. I could only imagine how school would go...