not done

So maybe she just got tired of him, maybe she just stoped careing no one really knew what all had gone one but then again with this couple you never knew what would happen, she was a year younger and lost and dazzed in lifes journey she suffred with depression and old addictions, as he was simply the same , but there was something crazy that they both shared a passion for poetry, a passion for pain, to feel such a high that is unbelieveable, that was there love for eachother and this so called cold life.1

Simple school days she got up asking herself why[?] why wake up so early, why go to school, why try why, why, why...nothing was ever right these days she hated life and the people in it as well, she lost her friend and lost her freedom she was mocked and called emo, she was cutter, a drug user she was lost!2

He was her reason that year,to witch keept her going, everyday he would be sitting there with his arms open just waiting for her, they would sit and talk, and just be free for just that time till the bell rang that was then seprate ways again, till lunch when they could again be happy that few thirty minnets was the world to them both, not careing what other said or did there love was so great all everyone knew.3

Till time went on and on and things started to change, his addictions got wores and worse he soon became the young girls pain! she loved him though and so she stayed right by his side, soon she got clean and the cutting bacame less and less she got introudused to god! and she learned how life is not as bad as they both made it out to be, still there love strong as he became weak and weak. 4

She soon was there she got up each day to walk in and see he was not ok, some morning he would be there head on the table just laynig in pain, others he was not there at all it brought the young girl shame she loved him she said each time she sat alone, things will get better she said as her friends asked what she would do? all she wanted was her love back but it was not comeing true, he soon was never at school for weeks at a time so she learned to deal with it and hang with her friends.5

She missed these times she relized as he was not there those days she would laugh and smile and things were just ok, then he was back and they all were togather, but then she relized!!it was not the same, she loved him still that was no lie but somehting was missing and she didnt know why. she layed in his arms forever and ever but learned she had no problem latting go as she once did.6

did there love fade away, is this not true! soon there were less and less phone calls and mainly talks were through notes, they still sat with eachother but she no longer layed in his arms, he woundered what happen he woundered what did he do. she never told him for he had no clue.she was not even sure why?7

Soon they grew further and further apart, she was here and he was there friends didnt know what to do or say wondering if things were ok! she smiled and laughed each and every day he smiled and laughed so things had to be ok, but the truth was she was hurting more then ever before she needed him she wantd him she loved him! why did she let him go? why didnt he fight to stay.8

So wanting to be with him again she pushed back her tears for she knew she messed up, she knew he would not take her into his arms as he once did for he moved on. it was clear as day he smiled and never stoped her she walked away! but when she was alone she cried and cried at night poped another pill no one would ever know. it was her own tragic show.9

soon she build a hate to him because her love was just to great, she hung around other friends she took him out of her life because she couldnt deal with the strife. he thought she hated him but that was far from the truth. after friends moveing and new comeing she trhought it was time for change she moved as well and said ill forget his name.10

she never did, a month or two past with no words being spoken between the two, till finally one day she came across a poem it was from him. this she knew, he was the only one she kept poetry from. each line had her heart on freez as she cried and wished and plead, she missed him what was she to do, she moved and never saw him, she had diffrent froends and not his number.11

the next day she looked more and more, she found more poems and notes from when it was them two, they were so in love she knew. he heart became weak as her eyes dryed too. tilll she called a friend and then she knew what to do, she got his number scared of what to say worried if he would hang up on her or if the talk would go ok.12

she heard his voice the frst time in too long. she cried and aplozied, she didnt know what else to do. she knew she loved him but was sure he had moved on. turned out he missed her as well and his love never left she was so happy but didnt know why. they were still miles apart and the thought made her cry.13

finally they got back togather he was hers and she was his just like it use to be, talking over and over about the first time they met it was crazy but something was right just not yet. something was diffrent she couldnt though see, maybe this was all wrong but then how could it be?14

they didnt talk like before the i love you was the same it gave off such power but still there was the who to blame? it wsa not like brfore this they both new it would never be this they both could see. but yet agreeded they stick it out for a few more years then they could be happy to gather they wanted everyone to see.15

though she moved to another town and went to another school she still had friends from there who told what all went on those days, soon she started to hear crazy things about the one she loved, she was told he was cheating said he was running around with other girls this broke her heart and made her cry she didnt even want to ask why.16

soon she broke up with him she felt to betrayed, maybe it was all a lie maybe it was all true who even cared she just didnt know what else to do. she hated the fact of what he may have been doing, she hated that she had to let him go, woste of all she hated that she lost hr self.17

so after the break up yet again with the guy she knew was her angel. she went back to drugs and partying she lost who she found she grew further and further away from the lord she soon was lost and yet she didnt even care, she loved her life she lovd how it was never fair! or was that all just a lire did she hate it would she tell. 18

So she lost the love of her life, she knew from this point on nothing would ever be the same she trusted less and never got to close, she lerned the world was nothing but a hell, but you do get to have fun and you have to make it all you can. and most importaintly you cant get caought in anything!19

so her life was the nights the weekneds she never would or could let go off. she spend nights out till four in the morning she was alwasy getting wasted and giveing her self a new name she was a whore and slut she was new to a diffrent game. she partyed hard and got messed up. pills where her blood as alchole was her air, she livd with out dispaer.20

every guy loved her they all knew her name she was "amazing" crazy just simply insane. she loved those night or did she, did she really love fucking every guy she just talked to, did she really love getting o messed up she didnt know what to do, did she really love those late nights past four in the morning who new she neer would tell.21

she soon had formed two sides of herself the angel and the dead. at time to time she was the sweeiest girl in the world she was a hard student and never did wrong, but when the dead side was there she nothing but a mistake nothing but a fake good for nothing girl. life was not far but it was not suppose to be. she longd so much still to her him say he loved her.22

she stayed up late alone many nights over dose from meds and cuts from razores and knifs, she delt with it all on her own she never told anyone it wsa her secrate he own little game it hurt so much but here is where she loved to be. weak and hurt useless she was a gourgous doll, and each time this happend she just stay and wait, wait for him to take her in his arms.23

she would wait for him to say i need you. i want you i love you. like she said to him each night only he never knew he was not there ut she said it every day she swears! soon she startes to loose frinds and she gets new ones as well. she soon dug her self deep as if she were under a spell. and still to those days she waited for him.24

pointless others would say but they just didnt understand. he was an amazing man. then the day came they talked once again, like before it was diffrent it wsa wierd and not right, turned out he had a new angel in his life! she broke down and cried she pulled out that raazor and knife, she poped pills like they were candy she asked herself why! she wantred to die. 25

he said he still loves her, but how she asked each day she read his poem about it and she new she would not be ok, turns out shes pretty and about the same age she silly and weddy time took a change. she said she was fine but inside she was only lieing. she was dead no im sorry she was slowly dieing!26

he said he still loved her and he always will, she said ok but as she did she poped another pill, was this gods will? or did they mess with destiney? will they ever know she hurt each day but didnt know why, she should be happy he is happy she should smile he now longer is in pain.27

all she wanted was everything to go back she just wanted life to be like before she wanted everything to be ok. soon she leatred he did love her, that though he has a new angel she is still within his haert. and still they planed to go away one more year they both would say!28

she lived her life and got things pretty ok, she was stable and ready to try and catch her star. till she learnd he was back doing meth. drugs she pleaded to stay away he promised her he said ok. then look another lie why did it suprise her? it kiled her she cried she called him and asked why?29

she felt alone and needless she told him all that went through her mind she spoke from the heart but thought to him it was a wast of time. soon he came and said he has been clean for a few days she smiled and was happy. they rainbow went through her head. those few days past and it was like nothing had chandged.30

she felt so close to him again like when they first met she said i loved you he said it back it was crazy the way something for so long could slack. then it hit the words she never thought to hear he told her he gave it up to her, he gave the girl he said he didnt even really care for he said he still wants her but then why did she get him?31

why, how could he? her heart fell for the last time, she heard the wind and fell to her knees she said she cant not again god help me please! soon she couldnt say i love you, for she was pushde to far to know she came last put a bullet through her heart, why couldnt he just say i hate you! go and never talk again that would have been better she hated this and wished to hate him.32

so things got worse day by day, she knew she would not be with him longer she knew soon it would be goodbye. whom was she kidding thats a lie! she found herself talking to him the next day, he acting as through everything was ok but inside they both knew it wasnt. but what could they do or say whats done is done the only thing was to move on.33

so a few days pased from when she got the news that he had given up his love to another for the first time though there was still pain she learned one thing big in this short time, "even the ones who you think would never hurt you so bad end up hurting you" but it was ok she faced the fact now that she was no longer the center of his world she got over the fact that she was his not yours and truth it didnt hurt as much anymore.34

so maybe knowing the fact that he gave his love to her made herget over the pain or maybe she was just to hurt to even give a care. whatever it was it was done with and said. soon she found just like all the times before he would pick up when she called funny this use to be her, he use to call and blow up her phone message oafter message now look and see the tables had turned she didnt know why.35

then they talked he called and she was smileing, maybe she called and he was smileing who knew but thats when they talked and she said worsd she never thought would come out of her, he was thinking about breaking up with his girl, and she simply said no! turned out she runs away from home a lot, and he was getting sick of it. but she told him no if she loves you and you love her then you have to stick it through you should know this from the past. he simply said yeah. after that talk it was back to no chats no phone calls no nothing.36

till fnally one day she lost herself again she did something she never should have thought about she was feeling cold, scared,lost and didnt know what to do. so she remembered what he said "if you need me im here call me before you hurt your self again" remembering what he told her she did just that she called in the middel of the night around one and two he picked up but before she could even say hi, he said i have to go.37


he let her down that night, she finally gave up she said thats it i tryed, but i will no longer cry! she didnt call after that she had no reason too, if he wanted her at all in his life he would just have to put her there, he never called! it hurt her till finally one day her phone was ringing she looked and was like wow. it was him after days he called she was so happy she picked up almost speachless, then once again her heart fell so hard he only wanted to know if she knew anyone who wanted to buy some drugs.38

that was it this was the thired or fourth time he called just for that, she couldnt do this but she found herself saying this each time and then each time she gives in she runs back to him. what was her problem, why did she do this to her self, better yet why did he let her do this to herself maybe after all this shit and the problems in the past she still loves him maybe he is still her star, to bad she is no longer his angel.39