A little breeze was born 1
rippled the grass and the quiet water. 2
3
A little breeze was born 4
midst the tufted green and the silent blue. 5
6
A little breeze was born 7
sought the rounded pebble, the broken stone. 8
9
A little breeze was born 10
touched the sticky thistle, the new born sprout, 11
tumbled down the bank, paused, watching the quiet water, 12
scurried up the side, stopped again to see the silent blue, 13
hurried across the drying pebble and the broken stone. 14
15
A little breeze was born, 16
looked around to see what life was all about. 17
18
Higher now the breeze explored, 19
up over the boulder, down to the rotten log. 20
Wider now the breeze explored, 21
out across the sand, in and through the twisted vines. 22
23
Farther now the breeze explored; 24
along the top of a distant ridge, behind the rising hill. 25
Deeper now, there, the forest, dark, too dark- 26
hurry back-a drop of rain-around the fearful hill- 27
faster now, over the ridge-dusty sand-twisted vines, 28
finally, around the boulder and the rotted log. 29
Safely now the breeze returned to the quiet water and looked about; 30
the tufted green, the silent blue, pebble and stone, thistle and sprout. 31
32
The breeze gathered itself and became a gust, 33
now firm-now gentle-and with others joined. 34
Over the ridge, easy now, into the forest with a youthful lust, 35
determined up the graybrown wood 36
fiercely trembling a berry vine 37
softly now, not understood 38
released again-freedom-a taste of wine. 39
Hide and seek, together again and then alone- 40
a breeze no more, not yet a wind, alone. 41
42
The gust chuckled to itself and the world, then laughed out loud; 43
went joyfully through the days ruffling flower and meadow, running proud, 44
teasing the dandelion-bending the willow, rushing up the tree, high, very high- 45
-so high now-above the tree a wisp of white-very small-moved across the sky. 46
Down to an orchard, blossoms fragrant and fresh-whispering through 47
branches wet with morning-glistening in welcome, flowered, open to 48
the sun searches and turns, beckoning warmth within; an answer now 49
a question, restless gust flutters the blossom pure, soon a blossom 50
not, the gust ceases to be a gust. 51
52
The new wind left, as all new winds must… 53
up and above the forest, once dark, once vast, no longer so. 54
Out and across the plain, rising whorls of dust, 55
pushing smaller waves across a larger lake, molding a drift of snow 56
along a mountain range, finding soon enough that very little is 57
strange. 58
59
The new wind searched, as all new winds must, 60
no cloud too high, no ocean too vast, everything to see-everywhere 61
to go. 62
63
A full wind now, complete and knowing, 64
restless search goes on; proud musky pine along an oft seen ridge. 65
Tall fierce unbending pine and fir, beneath the full wind blowing. 66
Jumbled rock and broken hill, barren land, no small tree on this 67
swept ridge. 68
69
A full wind now, complete and knowing, continues its restless 70
blowing. 71
72
A full wind now, complete and knowing, 73
restless search goes on; graceful elm, shady maple in the fertile 74
valley. 75
Safe and inviting maple and elm, shaped and caressed by the full 76
wind blowing. 77
Quiet lazy river, gently rolling hill, a place to rest only, this 78
fertile valley. 79
80
A full wind now, complete and knowing, continues its restless 81
blowing. 82
83
A full wind now, complete and knowing 84
restless search goes on; fragile poplar, forgiving willow along the 85
side. 86
Tauntingly prim poplar, ever bending willow, broken and left, full 87
wind blowing. 88
Fast growing poplar, strangling willow bough, no stopping here, 89
full wind blowing. 90
91
A full wind now, complete and knowing, continues its restless 92
blowing. 93
94
A full wind now, complete and knowing, restless search goes on; 95
once again the tall proud pine, the barren ridge, buffeted and 96
blustery yet unbroken, no answer here, the full wind blowing. 97
Restless search goes on; once again the taunting poplar along the 98
side, broken again, part of an answer-the lusty breeze-once more 99
the full wind blowing. 100
101
A full wind now, complete and knowing, 102
with storm and fury, with anger and wrath. 103
104
Faced the full wind, complete and knowing. 105
Lulled the storm and fury, quieted the anger and wrath. 106
Soothed the restless spirit; then from knowledge without knowing, 107
spoke: 108
Long have I waited, long have I been... 109
to you I am known as the Oak.110
111
112
Amicus...113
Author notes
Just wanted you to read, I know it is a prewrite and too long, but, c'est la vie, eh?
A contest entry
- Make it up... WINNER TAKES ALL by Midnightmare.
2000 points, ended March 2, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Love the personifications, in fact I love the whole thing!
Amazing imagery and descriptions, I really felt as if I was there!
Excellent Write!
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I love the human quality of the wind. How it grew and became 'an adult' and was wise and had seen the world. I really liked that. Or maybe I'm just looking too deeply into this piece. I don't know. But I thought it was beautiful. There was something elegant in it because it was both sad and joyful. It was steady. It was satisfying. I don't know how to explain it.
xoxo
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Interesting
This one had me feeling like I was a part of the wind. I got into the settings of nature you described. I also enjoyed the repetition. It seems to be kind of a combination of free and rhyme verse. It seems that the contest host likes this poem. Who knows. Maybe you'll win.
Andy
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I loved this!
This was so beautiful. The flow was impeccable, and the repetition was so effective in this sense. Your symbolism is amazing. The descriptions are so vivid - I was imagining the whole scene in my head as I read, which doesn't happen often. Long, yes, but rightfully so; the story needed to be completed. Bravo on this poem, and good luck in the contest!
Viola
. Rewarded 6
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Oui, C'est La Vie!
Yes, c'est la vie. It is the life.
Honestly, I LOVE IT! I never read such a poem that could describe just about everything worthwhile. And you write it as if you are right there.
It's beautiful. And I love this verse, "A little breeze was born."
I love how you use the figurative language and describe them like they are living beings.
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Smiles...
Actually...that was written in my younger days as a metaphor about a strong young man surveying the female world, hither and thus, and sipping and supping where the nectar was enticing....ah, but shhhh...don't tell anyone! Okay?
Amicus...
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I liked this. It was flowing and gentle to the heart. It was a quick read that was a little bit long for a poem, but it was still good.
. Rewarded 4
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This flows beautifully, and I found it restful to read. It made me feel as though I was sitting on the side of a mountain, listening to nature. I felt the breeze growing as I read your words.
. Rewarded 4
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This was very interesting and well written. I loved the descriptions you used. The way you detailed the aspects of nature in such a beautiful manner. Great job on this piece
~Joann
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Very lovely and really well written. Because it had that slow paced, good flowing feel to it, I actually read it slowly...
I liked the softness of each line, the gentle words in which were so powerful at the same time.
Good write, thanks for entering and good luck! -
Excellant write...
Comments
DayDreamerOf1982
1 day ago
Edit | Reply Excellant write. You really make nature seem so life like. Great job. Keep it up.
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I like the rhythm your repetitiveness has. I especially like the line "A full wind now, complete and knowing, continues on its restless blowing" ^^
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