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Chapter 25 of Trixie the pesky
goes off in search of her true
love !2
W. peter sanci feb. 18 / 20083
Well my friends, lets see what type of mischief our little friend trixie gets into today.
Well it was just valetnine’s day, as we all know,
And our friend trixie was suffering badly and in
Great dismay.
For she was still without a beau, my friends, and those of us who have been there know what a sad
Holiday this one can be.
It seems that everywhere you look, there are
Happy couples, walking arm in arm, gazing happily into each other’s eyes, wouldn’t you
Agree.
So it’s only natural that you would be down and
Out when everyone else seems to be happily in love.
So trixie tried several things, the first she put
An add in the paper, and boy, was that a big mistake, the losers that called her up were awfull, she wanted to cry, for all of those new
Beau’s fell far short of.
So then she though she’d try going to the church
Socials, she hear she might meet mr. right there.
So the next Saturday night off she hurries to the
Social at her little mouse church,
Well she walks in the door and right away she
Sees a handsome mouse standing over in the corner all by himself.
She says to herself, ( I am going right up to him and ask him for a dance.
And as she walks over to him a cute female
Mouse walks over to him and brings him a drink.
“ Rats, ” she say sto herself, I am just going back
home, this was a really bad idea. ”
so as she turns around to go out, that same handsome mouse comes over to trixie, and asks
her if she wants to dance.
Trixie says, “ I’d love to but won’t you’re wife get mad. ”
Well he started to laugh an laugh, “ that is my sister. She didn’t have a date, so I bring her to
All the dances.
Well trixie’s heart leapt inside her.
He’s actually single. ”
Then, he asked her if she wanted to get a
Coffee after the dance, and of course she
Quickly replied, “ yes, of course. ”
So they left the church hall arm in arm,
And it looked like trizie the pesky mouse
Had finally found her mr. right.
The end.
A contest entry
- Make it up... WINNER TAKES ALL by Midnightmare.
2000 points, ended March 2, 2008, 8 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Entertaining
This was very entertaining, it reminded me of things I've tried trying to find Miss right. So far my efforts have proven fruitless. This seems almost like a children's story the way you have lined it out. Was it written as a children's story? I like happy endings.
Andy
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Andy !
Yes you are correct it is writtten as a children's story. i HAVE 35 chapters of them. -
AndStepenson
Well I just thank you very much for you're nice comments
I appreciate it a lot ! I love to write so much !
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Hmm... I'm not sure this fits my contest description. The spelling and punctuation was very distracting and I think that aspect of the piece could use a little more attention.
The format and how you set it out was also very hard to read and follow. I suggest spacing it out and turning parts into paragraphs and fixing up places that should not be where they are.
Thank you for entering, but I'm not sure this was what I was looking for.
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Midnightmae !
Thanks for you're comment ! I wrie just for fun, I am not a polished writer. I just have fun writing.
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Another Great Obe !
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