Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall

Missing image
MIRROR, MIRROR, ON THE WALL1

In a small dank basement room beneath all the ruckus of the New York Institute of Technology the two men huddled, one with his hands covering and rubbing his face. Hair mussed. The other staring at him, pointing to a diagram he was holding.2

“I tell you it makes sense,” he said. “It’s got to work, because the numbers work. Why can’t we give it a try? What’s to lose?”3

The man who had been rubbing his face ran his fingers through his mousy hair.4

“What’s to lose is time, time and face. This is silly, Harold. You’ve spent too much time on this already. I’m telling you, I simply can’t do it. The administration won’t allow it.” He picked up the wax paper holding the remains of his lunch and folded it over his half eaten chicken salad sandwich, stuffing it back into the brown paper bag. “Now I’ve seen your idea, I’ve given you my opinion…”5

“But you are the administration, Isaiah. They’ll do whatever you say; whatever you recommend!” There was a moment’s pause. “Just get me the equipment then,” said Harold. “You won’t have to take part in the experiment. All I need now is another two mirrors and the recorders. Come on, Isaiah. It won’t be any trouble for you….None at all!”6

“It isn’t the mirrors or the electronics, Harold. It’s the support, your salary, keeping you on the faculty.”7

“What? What do mean, Isaiah? I have tenure here. They can't let me go!”8

Isaiah pulled his gleaming gold pocket watch from his vest and glowered at the time. “It’s getting late,” he said. “Really, Harold, we’ve discussed this before. I have a meeting. I have to go.”9

“I’ve given years to this university, Isaiah. It’s time for them to give back. I’m not asking for much. I won’t be treated like this. Please….” Harold held his hands out in entreaty. 10

“I’ll speak to you tomorrow, Harold, tomorrow.” Isaiah turned to exit the heavy door of the small basement hovel. It slammed behind him, leaving Harold to himself.11

He looked into the new mirror he had purchased for his experiments. His gaunt reflection stared back. The mirror was too new. It would do for part of the project but he would eventually need something larger…older. He lifted his gaze toward the sound system’s speakers; sensitive enough, but not an integral part of what he had in mind. Not yet. For now, it was the mirrors that concerned him. Harold sealed the cracks around the door and pulled the black shade over the little dusty basement window which led into nothing better lit than a subterranean closet. Then he doused the light. Blackness. Harold stood quietly for a moment, then tried to see his own hand. He could not.12

They wouldn’t believe him, but Harold knew that if one could achieve total darkness but still get the surface of a mirror to emit light…but never mind. They wouldn’t listen. No one had ever done it before. The secret lay in the use of two reflective surfaces, exactly positioned. They hadn’t used two mirrors. It was a reverberation principle. Each of the facing mirrors would reflect the image off the other, intensifying what little light there was; magnifying it! It would be old light. Trapped light! The key, Harold thought to himself, was that not all the light off old images was reflected. Some of the image’s light was seized, trapped in the mirror. The light, now, would be coming from within the mirror; from its depths. And there was no telling what that would reveal. Foolish people, thought Harold. They don’t understand. They cannot fathom the significance of my work.13

When Isaiah returned the next day there was a musty odor about the small room. And it was dark.14

“Harold? Are you here, Harold?”15

There was no answer.16

“Harold?” cried Isaiah. “It’s me. I brought you some coffee.”17

Isaiah detected a slight movement in the corner where light had trickled in from behind the open door. Harold bounded up, off his little stool.18

“Isaiah,” he said, in a chilling whisper, "you know String Theory: the tiniest particles…the building blocks of all matter…so-called strings? Nothing more than vibrations? Cannot be halved? Cannot be reduced? Nonsense, Isaiah! How can they reflect light if they are smaller than light particles? They are larger than light particles! Photons are the building blocks! It is light itself that we are created from. Light is the essence of it all. The Bible, Isaiah. The Bible! Let there be Light! This…is our very essence!”19

Isaiah removed the lids from the cardboard coffee containers and walked toward Harold. “You’ve been working hard, Harold. Have some of this. I can get us some lunch if you like.”20

“You don’t understand Isaiah. All those years I spent studying holograms. The same image over and over, whole, intact, no matter how many pieces it is broken into! The answer to it all is in the light. All of it need not be reflected. Some remains caught. Trapped in the mirrors. It is our essence, the essence of all things… and I can get it out! We can see it. Think of it Isaiah. Light from the ages! Images that would have been forever lost captured in the glass…but now, we can extract them! The dead can be resurrected!”21

Isaiah held the coffee out to Harold who did not seem to see him.22

“Isaiah, take a simple hologram and break it in two…in three pieces. What do you have? Three identical, intact holograms. Break each one of them, what do you have? More complete holograms. Replication! They cannot be divided. The light cannot be halved. A basic particle, an essential building block cannot be halved…cannot be reduced. And the particles of light that are trapped in these mirrors are whole…! Like holograms. And we shall see, we shall bring into being, the whole image!”23

“Harold,” said Isaiah, “take the coffee. Let me get you some lunch. You’ve been hard at it.”24

“No Isaiah. I want you to understand first. Like the sound waves and the images we send into space…they go on and on, Isaiah…for eternity!It’s conservation of energy. Bits of light that never die…are never lost! They remain in the glass…forever; until I will extract them! It starts with the light already in the glass…. It is reflected into the other mirror…and picked up, intensified by the first, and on and on, until we see it for what it is. The entire image! I won’t let them stop my work, Isaiah! I can’t let them!”25

“You don’t have to, Harold. I’ll help you. Listen to me,” Isaiah took out his gold watch. The mirror caught the image. “It’s getting late, let me go and get us something. I won’t be a few moments.”26

“No, Isaiah.” Harold lifted the heavy lamp by his side and struck Isaiah with its bronze base. Isaiah fell, the burning coffee airborne for an instant, then splashing down on his tweed jacket. “No Isaiah, you aren’t going anywhere anymore.”27

Harold dragged Isaiah’s limp corpse outside the basement room door that stood ajar and down to the cellar furnace. With no little difficulty he opened the furnace door and sat Isaiah on the edge. Then he pushed his body into the oven’s white hot flames. With a final twist of his shoe and leg, he shoved Isaiah into the blaze and shut the small cast iron hatch to the furnace.28

Back in his cellar hovel, Harold closed the door and knelt down to mop up the spilled coffee and the droplets of Isaiah’s blood. It was then, from his speakers he heard a sound. The reverberation units had been set up to detect sound from the mirrors…if that were to come to pass. At first indiscernible, the sound became clearer: “It’s getting late.”29

Harold looked up. It was then he saw the gleam in the mirror. The speakers sounded louder still. “It’s getting late!”30

The gleam in the mirror was suddenly more than light…it was Isaiah’s gold pocket watch! And the face behind it mouthed the words: “It’s getting late!”31

Harold stood. He confronted the long mirror. “No, you can’t,” he said…"you won’t stop me.” He lunged at the image in the glass with the base of his lamp which was still within his reach. The mirror shattered, fragments darting and lacerating, cutting, leaving shards of glass strewn all about the dark room. 32

Each piece of glass bore the full figure of a man holding a gold watch…until the light from the open door filtered in and vanquished it. The phrase on the speakers became an intolerable squawk as the images faded, bound for eternity…while Harold’s sliced and bleeding body lay amid the shards, thinking, “it’s getting late.... It's getting late."33

Author notes

This was a takeoff on some of the pulp "horror/sci-fi" I admit to having grown up on. Hope you enjoyed it!

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 99 of 141     1 2  next >  (show all)

  • AzureFire Comet
    2 days ago
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    Creepy...

    Although some of it I didn't understand, this is terrifying. Good work as usual Gary.


  • Rawrr.
    October 25
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    Creepy, did the guy go mad?
    Good story, thankss for the great read.


  • Whipper Snapper silver member
    October 21

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    Wow, creepy. I loved it! I love this sort of thing. How they make something impossible into logic with theories and all that good stuff that make it sound believable!


  • CutsThatDontBleed
    October 19
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    wow great story!!!


  • Van Holt
    October 12

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    White rabbit? Kidding, at least it wasn't 'bloody Mary', good stuff, I'll never step through a mirror again. Death is watching...


  • seamusl gold member
    October 12

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    Suspension of Disbelief

    This is a 3 card monte game. Love the way you dangle a fact and then snatch it back or move it aside so it can't be fully examined. Credible, believable and so well written it propels you into and through the story. 'nother good one.
    Ok, went back and added the clappies.
    Now for the payback. I would ask that you read one of my stories. If you don't "NO SOUP FOR YOU", I mean "NO CLAPPIES FOR YOU"


  • LilyFate
    October 9

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    Oh dear

    This story scared me almost to death o.o Its truly creepy. I was almost afraid to click on it cause i have a thing about mirrors... but good luck in the contest (:

    -LilyFate


  • LilMsHyper17
    October 3

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    Holy crap, I'm SO going to have a nightmare about this tonight. Thanks for scaring me silly. ;P

    HyperActiveFreak17


  • Smexi-gurl
    September 2
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    A little creepy but it was still really interesting.
    Good job!

    beginning: 4, plot: 4, ending: 3, characters: 4.

  • faithundefined
    August 11

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    Interested, I loved reading it, it's easy to see how hard you worked on this. There isn't much I can comment on other then to say Awesome job! Reminds me a little of the movie Mirrors with Keifer Southerland, great movie! The story went well with a dark room and a bowl of popcorn lol.

    Great job, keep writing
    Summer

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • CheshireCat
    August 11

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    Very Nice!

    I have to say this is one of the best yet! At first I thought there wasn't going to be a ghost and the whole discription of the mirror experiment was very confusing. But I am just a teenager and the event sounded really genius! I felt like I was listening to some documentary! The motivation to Harold killing Isaiah was a little foggy, I would add some discription on why he would kill him. Also there was a part "little no difficulty" which is a grammar mistake, you might want to fix that. The insanity of an obsessed scientist really added a nice touch for Harold's character, but I think Isiah's character could use a little edge, I would be quite nervous if my friend was acting so crazy, even adding a little stutter to his words would help boost the characterization. Besides that, imaginitive, original, smart, and very good read!
    Good luck with the contest!


  • Lady Eventide Greeters member
    August 9

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    Oh! This is scary!

    I can imagine this, the crazy scientist who believes his theories, and then the man who's the saner of the two, with a cups of coffee and a charming personality. Poor, poor Isaiah. Harold's such an a-hole!

    In the last part, when the mirror shattered, I could so imagine that...almost as if I were there! With all the scientific talk, I was like, 'Oh, that's interesting.'

    You an incredible author. Thanks for entering this in my contest!!!


  • cole3313
    August 8
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    Wow that was a tad bit creepy. Great job, i really liked it.

  • emma...
    August 6
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    wow, i liked this a lot great write.


  • Iris Doyle
    July 28
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    whoa...
    i think ive read this before,
    but its still just as good
    great job!
    good luck in my contest!


  • Fantasy500
    July 25
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    i liked it, i agree with Bloodredprimrose


  • u.wish.u.were.emmet
    July 15
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    Once again I'm commenting, but its cause u entered my contest!! I will be honest and tell you that I didn't find the story very suspensful, but I've said that to a million people so...yeh I thought the story was exciting, it caught my attention, and...don't take this the wrong way but it was interesting to!=] Nicely done, and thx 4 entering my contest!!


  • Scarlet Blood
    July 15
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    Its cool. I like it. Looks like this is going to be another hard contest,


  • So Strange Greeters member
    July 14

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    Kind of crazy. I enjoyed this, but it was still kind of crazy. I thought the ending was really interesting... and even though I am a big fan of horror, I don't think this is a genre that works that well without truly horrifying aspects. I think you have a good chance at becoming a great horror writer. You just need to focus more on your stories and turn them into longer stories, if possible... if not, then maybe in chapters. This is a short story site, but I'm just saying.

    I hope you are lucky in the contest I am co-judging. I wish you all the luck in the world. With writers as talented as the ones you're against, it's hard to even get nominated, much less win gold.


  • BloodRedPrimrose
    July 13

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    Wow thats probably the best thing I've read today. It was a perfect balance between creepy, slight horror and suspense.

  • u.wish.u.were.emmet
    July 10

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    Very nice story=] It was a little creepy and i was a bit confused at some point but it was suspensful and interesting! Nicely done=]


  • Siby Anan
    July 2

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    That ending is chilling. You did a fantastic job leading up to it and you left the only characters you introduced dead. One, because of his own mad thoughts and the other because he didn't know how to handle a madman!

    Well done!


  • Weatherwax
    June 29

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    On Reflection...

    Mirrors. They're a great tool for the writer, standing on the line between science and fantasy as they do. It's always fun to watch writers give them a slight nudge in either direction, and see where it goes. And, in this case, it goes very nicely indeed.

    I won't go into accolade over your use of vocabulary - I think we've already established that it's always impeccable. Although... in paragraph 11, I'm not sure that 'hovel' is the best choice of word. Does Harold actually live there? I was under the impression that the word referred to a dwelling... or an open shed? Of course, you could be using it metaphorically, but I don't know, in that case, if it fits in with the rest of the writing, which is quite straightforward and scientific. Also, in paragraph 5, the third use of 'time' is a tad repetitive (I know that Isaiah has this thing with time, but perhaps 'too long' instead of 'too much time' would work equally well?)

    As far as story is concerned, I think this is the first one of yours I've actually read (as in a straightforward narrative, I mean), and, once again, I'm so glad I did so. There is real thought behind the plot, and despite the complicated scientific angle, it doesn't lose itself behind a mountain of gobbledegook. Basically, a brilliant idea.

    There was one line where I sort of lost the flow for a bit. In paragraph 18 - 'light trickled in from behind the open door'. This sounded a bit awkward to me... wouldn't light come in through the open door? Unless you mean that the light reached the corner through the gap where the door is hinged to the jamb, in which case I think it needs to be a little clearer... Could just be me though.

    Finally... I found that Harold's attack on Isaiah was a bit sudden (um... not the attack itself, but the way it was written). Perhaps you could flesh it out a little?

    I may have missed a point here, but why does Isaiah say it's getting late only seconds after offering to buy Harold lunch? It's obviously not late in the day, so it's getting late for what?

    I'm done. I hope this doesn't come across as too negative - most of the above is a prime example of hair-splitting. I don't think I've ever written so critical a comment (I read your 'critic' piece, so you've only got yourself to blame )

    Most of what everyone said also applies... interesting story, well-written as always, etc etc. You certainly have the versality to apply yourself to any number of genres with apparent ease. I'm envious! Cheers.



  • The Oscars Team
    June 28
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    This story/poem is hereby officially accepted as a nomination for the SW Oscars. Congratulations on your nomination! You will be notified [via IM] to submit this story in its specific category when the contest opens. Congratulations, once again! Keep up the excellent work!

    Admin
    SW Oscars


  • sberendt gold member
    June 22

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    I've definitely read it this before, but I guess I failed to comment on it. Loved it the same as I did last time! The whole mirror holding slivers of the past and whatnot? Awesome idea. And him flipping out and killing the dude? Nice. I can totally see someone like him doing that.

    Nice story!

    ~sberendt


  • Jennywinnie
    June 22
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    I was reading on and on...it really captured me from the start and then when he pushes Isaiah in the furnace...I was completely surprised...wow I totally didn't expect that at all.

    And then the end! So is it the light that had been inside Isaiah that kept saying...it's getting late...it's getting late...

    Interesting


  • Queenie-Chan
    June 18
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    Cool story. I really liked the concept behind it. Very sci-fi like.


  • Asfand
    June 17
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    Well, I've already told you it's on eof your strongest pieces. The characters have personality, motive is strong, and the writing itself is of course near-perfect.

    The murder itself is very brief. Maybe you could tweak it into something more eye-catching, but well done!

  • Asfand
    June 14

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    The ending is like BAM! Creepy. Really creepy. The little haunting voice, it's freaky. Loved this piece really, one of your best. I'm starting to increasingly love murder/crime/psychotic pieces and this is definitely one of the better ones I've seen here.

    The flow goes really well. The ravings of the man are well articulated into dialogue. That sense of desperation really get going. Love it! Clappies for you!


  • Violette silver member
    June 13

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    Holy crap, I'm not surprised by your trophy head count at all! That was awesome? Do you have any other stories similar to this? Would love to try em on for size.

    You took science to a whole new level in this, way cool. You have a very mature style of writing and a clearly extensive vocabulary. I am very impressed.


  • Melissa HoneyBee
    June 12
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    My APPLAUSE


  • BigTuck
    June 7

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    I dig it

    I enjoyed the reference to string theory, but I know what that is. But I feel like the descriptions are more telling me than showing me. The guy's body was sliced up-- how many pieces if any? how much blood was there? (Yes I realize this is morbid) any bone protrusions?
    When Isaiah's body is burned-- does it smell? does it immediately light up or does it take a while? How hard was it to push the body in there? anything break?


  • CitizenSoldier
    June 7

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    I did not get much of what was going on, but that would be me, not the story. I liked it, as much as I could follow, anyway. It was nicely written and structured. Good work


  • Simply.Nora.
    June 3

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    You're really good with creating the dialogue, it's very engaging. Also, i loved how you described the scene, so I got a nice mental picture .
    By the ending of the story, i was just like "Whoa." I didn't see it coming.
    Amazing story!

  • First-Mate gold member
    May 31
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    It was a good story. Kind of Edgar Allen Poe-ish.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Arcos
    May 29

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    This story started out pretty good, but then I was soon hooked. Mad science is still interesting.

    This was interesting to read. A lot of the points you mentioned had bits of truth in them, which is the basis of all good sci-fi, but you had the raving, murdering scientist in there which made this a good horror as well.

    The ending was a little unclear, though. As in, I'm exactly sure what happened. I'm sure there was a lot of significance, but it was lost to me, sadly.

    Oh, well. I still enjoyed the ride very much. Good work.


  • Melissa Loves Jeffy
    May 29

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    Wow this whole thing was so amazing. It really creeped me out. Great job! Thanks for entering my contest.+


  • AshleyAesthetic
    May 26

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    Hmm very precise and scientific.

    I definitly did not expect what Harold did to Isaiah, at all.

    The stopwatch thing, and the "It's getting late...it's getting late" thing, made me think of alice and wonderland for some reason. Dont really see why.

    Creepyness
    I loved it!
    Thank you for entering =

  • Melissa HoneyBee
    May 23

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    Ok.. I Liked the story and if it wasn't a contest i'd give you top of the marks.... But i'm wondering if you actually read what you had to do? There was no kids characters in that! Awesome write but the whole point was to have a kid character figure intertwined with a horror story.
    You could re-enter this if you re-edit, but i might have to disqualify you. Nice story though.


  • Serpentine silver member
    May 19

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    I agree with what some of the other readers said about "Alice in Wonderland." The concept of "peering into the mirrors" reminded me of this, and especially the emphasis on time throughout the story. Everytime that gold watch was mentioned I kept picturing the white rabbit. It was flawlessly written and beautifully executed...dazzling work. Thanks for entering this in my contest and good luck.


  • Cupcake14
    May 14

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    Oh my....what a twist.
    I simply can't understand why you HAVEN't won so many contests. An indication that there is BETTER is shocking!
    I think I have already commented on this before-against the contest rules-but I'm not sure. However, seeing that you have 103 comments on your story, I'll be lenient. You can't very well remember everyone.
    Magnificent story, you seemed to have retained what you learnt in physics for very long.
    SGS


  • xrainbowajx
    May 12

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    its good.
    poor dude though
    getting killed n shit.
    that would suck
    thanxs for entering the contest


  • urbanronin88
    May 3

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    Excellent story. A good, unique plot. Very twilight zone-esque. Thanks and good luck in my contest.


  • Duality.
    May 3

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    I found this a bit confusing, like apatheticposion said, a bit fairy tale like. I think you could work on the story's body a bit more. I liked it, though!


  • Night Terrors
    April 19

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    Kinda a Alice in Wonderland feel to this. I like your twisted point of view it was a very freaky story. It made me shiver. I think this was exremely creepy.


    The Positives:

    A great plot. I loved the character and the story was very well written.

    The Negatives:

    Nothing I see great job.



    Overall:

    I give this an 7/10 you did great. I hope to see you in my future contests thanks so much for entering.

    ~*~Apathetic Poison~*~

    beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 3.


  • Bella Corday
    April 16

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    "It's getting late!" Made me think of Alice and Through the Looking Glass.

    Being made of light reminded me of something I read somewhere about light beings. Very interesting take on it. This is a well crafted tale. Excellent!


  • Dr. Metalhead silver member
    April 6

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    This is very good, and its also very original. When I read it, it was like I was watching the twilight zone! Another thing is I really like the character elements in the story, especially Harold's eccentric persona.


  • Poignant
    April 3

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    How is this romantic? Congratulations on all your other trophy wins, but this isn't really what i was looking of for this contest. Thanks.


  • Atticus Unanimous
    March 28

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    This is quite possibly the best thing I've read in a long time. And I'm talking about books too. I've been looking for some new matierial, something with an actual vibrancy and passion. It's exactly the kind of thing I like: a bit trippy, dark, a murder with a mad man behind it (though he isn't really all that mad. Only in the eyes of his opposition), the ominious mirror gazing back with a purpose.

    I loved this. Excellent job.


  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    March 20

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    Very well written and original I enjoyed reading this! Great work and thanks for entering the contest


  • berryhot2
    March 17
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    Wow.

    very deep
    I loved it


  • Vampiric souls
    March 14

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    This is an amazing idea!!!!! And so different!!! Wow!!! You are such a good writer!!!!
    Thank you so much for entering!!!
    ~Souls


  • VelvetWings
    March 12

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    This is a powerful and well-written piece. Although you have a picture when I asked for there not to be, I got your message and will still consider your story for my contest.
    However, there is a reason for my not wanting a picture--I am a writer but I am also a visual artist. I know that if I drew something, or photographed something, I would not want it used on someone else's page unless they had asked me first and included my explicit permission, along with credit to me for the image.
    So unless this photo at the top belongs to you personally, I suggest you put credit and artist's permission in your author notes as well.
    Thank you for the contest entry, and good luck.
    ~Sparrow


  • DeathNoteYaoi
    March 11
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    wow i love this story welldone ^^^ sorry about before i think this story is geart !!!!!!


  • Asonine
    March 11
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    the pure awesomeness of this is too goo dmy friend... to good lol


  • Tricia3 gold member
    March 7

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    Now that is strange!

    Very interesting idea. Life trapped in the mirrors. And very well written.
    Thank you for entering.

    plot: 5, ending: 5, characters: 5.


  • lunarserenityrose
    March 7

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    Whoa, what a thinker! This is a story that has to be read a few times before it really starts to sink in. I love stories that make you go back and say "maybe I'll understand it better this time." Nice work!


  • amanda vampiress silver member
    March 2

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    Very well written!

    I think I have read this story once before, but it was not submitted for any of my other contests so all is well. I enjoyed this story, even more the second time around. The characters were very believable. I liked your idea of the mirrors, it was very interesting. All the scientific terms worked well within your story, and I did not see any mistakes what so ever. Keep up the great work!


  • nobumagawaX
    February 22

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    OMG!

    this was a awsome story!!!!!!! i soo love this..i cant even exsplain how much i enjoyd this!!!! I loved the ending..OMG i am soo obsessed with this story...i so have to show my science teacher this i think she would love this!!!!!..verry nice job this is wonderfull!..you should try to publish this in a book of short storys..if you havent already!!


  • C.rimsonQ.uill
    February 17

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    WOW!!!

    That was EXTREMELY impressive! I love how you twisted science in with horror! It's exciting! I especially loved the ending, how he lunged out at the image of Isaiah thinking he was still trying to stop him! Hehe!! An excellent write!

  • DeathByChocolate
    February 16
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    interesting. very original


  • Cadburry melted
    February 14

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    wow u must really have thought hard for this story. the consept is well amazing. sigh. just like that he killed a man. something so strongly believed in can drive you crazy. way to go on this


  • SweeneyTodd-girl
    February 12

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    Umm, wow. I little too dark for my tastes, but understood the feeling of it. If I liked horror, I would have loved it.


  • SoundInkMusic
    February 9

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    A nice little horror story; creepy but uncliched, which is always a refreshing change. The notion of tying life and light together was an interesting one. You wrote this pretty well and kept it at a good pace - neither too fast or too slow. No suggestions come to mind =) Good job on this one.

    beginning: 5, language: 3, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 3, characters: 4.


  • SigningOff.ImOnline
    January 28
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    Ooohhh, neat idea. It was different, albeit a there were a few times I got a little confused. But then again, I'm not exactly a straight A student. XD Anyway, this was pretty good. It was interesting enough to keep my attention, although the descriptions of the characters actions could have been a bit better. Good job.


  • Artificial.Smiles. gold member
    January 24

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    This was so cool! The idea that we are all made of light was really cool and unique. It was different, and I loved it:]

    God Luck in my Contest!


  • Zapuruxo
    January 22

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    What a fantastic concept... we are all made of light...

    The twist at the end was well-wrought. Your work is simply wonderful.

    Thanks for an enthralling read.


  • rinzu
    January 22
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    u gave a different twist to the story...

    i loved the originality and dialouges...


  • Nedned
    January 21

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    The science...

    I have to say, I really enjoyed the story, and I am probabl taking it too seriously but the science... well, when you have a story as realistic as this and the science isn't science, it is kinda off putting.

    beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 2, ending: 3, dialog: 4, characters: 4.


  • TheTynGirl
    January 5

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    I really, really enjoyed this. It was very interesting, and my attention didn't flag a bit, which is saying something.

    Good luck!

  • faeriestone
    December 29, 2008

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    I have enjoyed everything I have read of yours so far and this is no exception! I find all that stuff about string theories really fascinating although I do not fully understand the concepts. Your story reminded me of a book I read a few years ago called, 'Other Days, Other Eyes,' about something called, 'slow glass,' which worked in a similar way to the mirrors in your story.
    Great write!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • WolfSpiritMia
    December 12, 2008

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    Lol, I already read and commented on this story once before. I'm gonna stick to my comment from before. Good luck!


  • Synthetic-Nightmare
    November 26, 2008

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    Wow.....

    i must say, this is an extremely creative and intelligent write. The killer was thoroughly excited and into the project he was working on, up until the moment of possession and violent obsession. Kudos on the write hun, and thanks for your entry

  • Lady Michaella
    November 25, 2008

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    This is brilliant. I would have so many nice comments to make, but you didnt put the message in ur AN, but otherwise well done. Please put it in.
    x


  • Inkling
    November 13, 2008

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    Awesome story. Psycho much? ^-^ Nicely written and original. Good luck in the contest!


  • Dreama
    November 3, 2008
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    applause!!! it kept me interested all the way through well done!
    thanks for entering!


  • Olinda
    October 19, 2008
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    whoah.. thi is disturbing... but its really good. the picture gives a kinda creepy look hehe

  • WolfSpiritMia
    October 12, 2008
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    Heh what a psychopath!! Hmm this wasn't all that scary though, sorry to say. But if it wasn't for the contest, I'd say I loved this! It was descriptive awesomeness. But for the contest, hmmm. You'll have to think about that.

    Good luck!!


  • Raeyle
    October 5, 2008

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    Wow. The ending totally blew me away. Partially Alice in Wonderland meets Outer Limits. Keep on writing for real. The ending. oh boi...the ending..

    ending: 4.


  • WhySoSirius
    October 3, 2008

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    Wow

    That was pretty awesome. I'm no science junkie, but it sounded pretty good nevertheless. I was interested most of the time, but the part where Isaiah was killed was very anticlimatic. Compared to everything else, it lacked description. But the epic awesomness of the rest made up for it


  • mharrington05
    September 30, 2008

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    Very impressive and original to boot! I can't say i've ever read anything like this. I do have one observation i would like to offer, your charachter Harold has seemingly descended into madness, i just feel you may have explored that descent somewhat, all that time spent alone in the dark surely being the aggravating factor, leadinng to his killing of Issiah. As without the insanity properly explored i didn't feel he had the right motivation to kill his old colleague. Still don't let that take away from an excellent piece, very well written and flowed superbly, keeping the reader engaged right until the end. Well done, good luck in the contest.


  • Sha Wujing
    September 24, 2008
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    I really like it, nice!


  • Friesian
    September 16, 2008

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    wow!

    I love the overall idea! Great thinking! Absolutely deep and mysterious! It really got me pondering...... The descriptions were excellent and the dialogue was insane and realistic! I adore reading about maniacle people! I LOVE the concept of light capturing an image! Very original and astute! Great joB!

    -Lissy

  • HoneyAngel
    September 10, 2008
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    This was a good story, and had a lot of description; however, a lot of the time, I'm sorry to say it didn't hold my interest. I don't know why. Maybe my mind wasn't holding onto the concept well, or whatever, but yeah.

    Like I said, it was a good story, but I found myself getting a little restless halfway through.

    Good job.

    Angel.


  • tonialoise
    September 10, 2008

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    nice, I agree with Jeremy that it's got a Poe kind of feel to it, but maybe more twilight zone as Poe would have gone more into Harold's thoughts and psychology.

    Good story when I don't let my technical knowledge get in the way.


  • Oddems.
    September 7, 2008

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    I've read this once or twice before and still the story is as creepy as ever. It was disturbing, yet beautiful and reminded me a bit of Edgar Allen Poe. You did a magnificent job. Thanks for entering and good luck!

    PR

  • Iris Doyle
    September 5, 2008

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    that is SOOOO Creepy. i love it!! great story. kind of sudden at the end....i like it. haha. amazing detail. even though i dont understand science much, i understood it. amazing concept. has it already been invented? did you make taht up? if you did, i wonder if it would really work! anyway, brilliance. good luck!

  • jeremymiller
    September 4, 2008

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    Very Poe

    I love the man being driven mad by his own geniur arcehtype and the use of mirrors as a symbol of other worldliness is one I love. Good work.

  • trowe
    September 4, 2008
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    sounds a little like something Poe would write, so i like it! very nicely done


  • gezza gold member
    September 4, 2008

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    A shattering ending

    Very nice work, Gary.

    This is the second work I have read of yours that is pure fiction (I hope!) and certainly the first that crosses out of the genres that I normally enjoy reading from you. Horror, but in the classic style.

    This work is beautifully confined to a small area, with two characters (not counting the multiplication effect of a shattered mirror), and a complex, but singular theory. Simple and consequently well crafted. I agree with an earlier commentator - poe-esque.

    As usual, a few comments from an editing perspective:

    A general and pedantic point - I was taught to have a space after an ellipsis (eg "Fred was dead... sort of"). This simulates the fact that a space is needed prior to a new word. Am I wrong?

    para 6 - not sure "said Harold" is appropriate as part of the dialogue construction in this paragraph. Normally it is used as the introduction of the speaker, not the "continuator", so to speak. Perhaps "continued Harold."

    para 9 - from a stylistic point of view, much the same with "he said". Perhaps instead of stating he is saying something - which we know by way of the dialogue being in the same paragraph as Isaiah being described - you could describe how he is saying it. "he muttered" or something like that.

    para 11 - "Harold, tomorrow" should be "Harold. Tomorrow" as it adds to the emphatic way Isaiah would be saying it.

    para 12 - a minor suggestion: "Then he doused..." onwards could be a new paragraph; again to emphasise.

    para 13 - Not sure you got plural vs singular right in the context of all the sentences toward the end of the paragraph. For example, "light off old images", then "Some of the image's light was seized" in the next sentence. Thereafter it refers to a single image - perhaps a representative image. Not sure here, but just highlighting this.

    para 19 - "so called strings?" - should this be "so-called strings?"

    para 25 - "until I will extract them!" - maybe you can remove "will".

    para 28 - "stood ajar and down to the cellar furnace" - I was wondering if you wanted to add "led" before "down". Stylistic point - would it be better to write "He then pushed..."?

    para 29 - suggest a comma after "speakers".

    I enjoyed this a lot, particularly when it is a genre I visit regularly.


  • Dawn Bon
    September 3, 2008

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    wow this si really good. Great writting sense it flows. Im writting a storya botu a mirror two. go see soem of my entries to contests and stories in general, thanks.


  • Anaya Roma
    September 3, 2008

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    REMINDS ME OF POE!

    An excellent piece of work! I have always enjoyed fairy tales, so the first thing that caught my attention, believe it or not, was the title. After I read a couple of paragraphs I was hooked because technology, science, experiments, and especially the nature of time and light are things that I find fascinating. This is deserving of applause. So there!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • imagist
    September 2, 2008

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    wow... do you work in the movie industry? You should be famous by now with all of these awesome stories...


  • Reaver Greeters member
    August 31, 2008

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    Read this one before...see previous comment...enjoyed this time to Thanks for entering..


  • Adelaide Blood
    August 29, 2008
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    Alright

    It was original, and scientific, and such, and it shows you are intelligent and such, but it was boring to me. It moved too fast for me I guess... It was original however, so thanks for the entry and good luck to you.

    Here's to another original mind in the world!


  • kitigrl-sparkloholic
    August 28, 2008
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    um... its interesting...

    thanks for entring my contest!


  • GrimDeath
    August 23, 2008
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    Very interesting. Thank you for entering and good luck.


  • Viola.King
    August 17, 2008

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    2 nominations?!?! That's fantastic! Congrats! Apparently I haven't commented on this story before, but I have read it a while back, and it's really impressive (and creepy). Good luck!


  • KaitieTheLoserr.
    August 12, 2008

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    This was a great read. I enjoyed it immensely. *nods*
    Thank you a bunch for entering and good luck!!

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