In a cabin deep within the snow peaked mountains of the darkness, Dark Angel lay in his coffin, his eyes closed in a mortal state of sleep.1
“Save me, help me,” A voice seemed to whisper from far away, yet it was so loud it seemed to send a chill through his body.2
“Marie...,” she cried immediately sitting up, his wings beginning to spread in fright.3
He used his visions to scope the land in hope of channeling a vision of Marie.4
He soon found it, a mere two hours away on a highway towards the cabin in the mountains.5
He felt aware of metal, like some kind of sharp object was hiding somewhere in the car.6
Trying even harder to scope and look deeper into his vision he could see a knife hidden beneath the mans pants. His hand hidden disgustingly under her clothing.7
Bitterness hit him high, vengeance he wished to seek, to save his lover.8
Extending his fangs with passion, he flew his coffin door closed and headed towards the clouds in hope of rescuing his lover.9
The sky was harsh, the sun was at its highest peak.10
Though with the power of love screaming through every inch of his body, the sun was nothing compared to the pain he would feel if he did not risk his life to save her.11
His Queen, his Dark Angel.
Author notes
Part Six
I thought it was time to break it up and see some of the Dark Angel
Love Blair
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Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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First off! I love the picture you used!
Oh I loved seeing Dark Angel come back and head to the rescue! I think my favorite line "extending his fangs with passion". I love how you describe him. The love just radiates off of the pages. Can't wait for more of this!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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good
Not too much to disect given its length. It is well done and has good descriptive imagery.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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OH! OH! How sweet!
Oh, I love this. I love the emotions that were written out so beautifully, Gosh, I just love it. It was so beautiful how you described the love he felt for her so vividly. It sent me to a happy place, despite the fact that I can';t wait for the next part!
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Dark Hero to the Rescue!
Wonderfully done and showed the love and commitment to her. Beautiful!
DarkOne -
Oh, I love this vampire guy!! He is so...sweet? Not quite, but more like...I don't know. Amazing! I love how he can sense her pain and longing for help. I'm wondering what will happen next!
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I would like to see more of what may be going on in his mind. What is he thinking what makes him want to save her.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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