Sometime before dad "went away," as mom says, we had new neighbors. It was a big event; hardly anyone ever moved into our side of the city, the suburbs.1
Mom and I, holding hands, walked two streets down to the Fisher's home. They lived in a two floor house, painted white, which stood out from the other dark colored homes. I was getting restless from carrying the rhubarb pie; I wanted very much to get back to coloring in my book.2
"Fine, I'll take that. Go sit down on the pavement, and wait for me." Mom went ahead to their house, and ringed the bell. Some kind soul opened the door; I didn't see who she was, or what she looked like. I don't think it was the ma'am of the house, she would have sounded tired from receiving visitors all week.3
I took out my notebook and my box of crayons, and set to coloring. I started singing, too.4
"So many surfaces so colorless and bland
I’ve got so many colors in my new box in my hand
One day I’ll think about getting
But today I’m just gonna color the sky.."5
"Juice box, paper hat, and a line of pixie stix."6
I look towards the source of the voice that had unexpectedly interrupted the holy calm. A boy about my age, with blonde hair and a smile was standing there.7
"Who're you?" I asked.8
"I'm Joseph Fisher. I just moved here. I go to Hanshew also." 9
"How d'you happen to know where I go for schooling?"10
"Your mother. Quite a baker."11
"Careful, she put poison in there. What team you on?"12
"Teal."13
Darn. "I guess I'll be seeing you around."14
"What classes do you have? I have band the first, then science, gym the third, reading for fourth hour, pre algebra the fifth, social studies the sixth, and language arts the last."15
Double whammy. "I'll have sixth and seventh period with you."16
"So." He sat down next to me. "What 'chu doin'?"17
I thought I heard something like a snicker. Oh, yea. A middle schooler, coloring. I wanted to punch his bonkers out, but that wouldn't have been nice to do to a new soul around here, and mom would'a whalloped me with her frying pan if I had, so I just let him see.18
"May I draw something?" I nodded.19
He took some crayons, turned to a new page, and drew white cotton candies, a yellow circle, green waves, and colored the background blue. Pure blue.20
I frowned. "The sky ain't blue."21
"Sure it is."22
"How d'you know?"23
"The sea."24
"What about it?"25
"The sea is vast. There's more of it than the sun. See, the sea has all these fish and plants in it. Green, white, orange, whatever color you can think of. Those colors come together to make the sea blue."26
"What does that have to do with the sky?"27
"The sea reflects the sunlight bounching off of it to the sky, which in turn makes THAT blue."28
"But the sky ain't blue. At least now, it ain't."29
"Go to the beach sometime. I'll show you. Hey, what's your name?"30
"Rosaline Lee. Call me that, I'll kill you."31
"Then what do you want to be called?"32
"Rose. 'Bout you, Joseph Fisher?"33
"Just Joseph."34
We both sang.
A contest entry
- Make it up... WINNER TAKES ALL by Midnightmare.
2000 points, ended March 2, 2008, 8 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Tell me a short story! by Reaver.
350 points, ended May 31, 2008, 17 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Very nice story...enjoyed reading it. Very well done with your dialogue...that was teh best part for me. Thanks for entering~!
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it's based on my experiences, and the characters are drawn from my life. i'm glad to hear that you found it pleasing. thank you!
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Good Story!
p3 'and rang the bell.'
I liked this little story. It reminded me of being a kid. So is this a true story or fiction? The characters were very believable. The dialogue seemed good. Yes, on the whole I found this entertaining and pretty well written. You main character seemed to live in her own world.
Andy

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Okay not a bad piece at all... however this also does not really fit in my contest. I like the plot and how you described things and the language you used, but I wasn't entirely sure that it fitted what I was after.
Good job, thanks for entering =] -
i love this story especially the song part. I'm gonna make you a banner. I'm pretty bored anyway and i need to keep my mind off a certain someone who hasn't been ON IN FOUR FUCKING DAYS....anyway, great writing as usual. Though you might want to rewrite the first sentence. and what i don't get is why she wanted to punch him? all he wanted to do was see her coloring book. oh yeah i'm jumping around again back to the first line. you might want to say:
Once, before dad went away, we got new neighbors. It was a big event since not people moved to this part of town.
that's all for now. can't wait for the next story =]
1 - 5 of 5






