Breaking the Darkness

I felt the warmth as it slipped into my hand, the gentle squeeze of her dainty fingers clasping mine.1

I looked down at my darling little girl. I loved her so much. Through blurred wision, I could make out her cute, round face outlined by bouncing blonde curls. Her confused, blue eyes longingly gazed into mine.2

My child's voice quivered as I heard her quietly say, " Mommy, what happened?"3

My mind raced. She was so young, only five years old. How was I going to explain? What could I say that she would understand? 4

I looked away, trying to restrain from tears. The few candles lit were busy trying to chase out the dark and gloom, but it was too late. Darkness had already encompassed my heart and there was no escaping the sadness. So, I cried.5

It did not matter that a huge crowd was behind us watching. The load was lifted, and for the first time since that fateful day, I felt better. I saw a flicker of light at the end of my life's tunnel, just in time to feel her gaze penetrating straight through me again.6

I turned to her, put on a real, genuine smile, and replied, "Honey, Daddy's with Jesus."

Well, I tried my hand at writing a story. What do you think? (HONESTLY!)

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Rosemary silver member
    March 27

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    Really sad

    You captured the sadness of the moment in your story. It was like jumping into the middle of a tragedy. I think you could build a real story around this scene.


  • Flutluvzbobby
    March 11
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    I LOVED IT


  • SeleneStone gold member
    February 21

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    Awwww this was so sad. It is a very good, heart wrenching write. That would be so hard for a mom to have to tell a child of that age.
    ~Joann

  • Curious Koop
    February 18

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    Aww...I like it. I like the line :So, I cried. So simple and sad. Very good. One thing (because i like to critique) one second she's sad and the next "the load was lifted". Just a thought. But other than that great!!


  • PeachesNscreaM-rawr
    February 18
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    Oh, btw, I LOVE the title!


  • PeachesNscreaM-rawr
    February 18
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    Aww. Seriously, Katie, this is so bitter-sweet and sad. Makes me even MORE depressed. XD That means it's good. And wow... I think you're better than you think you are, and I think you're better at penning at stories than poetry. Really, this is great. Love it!
    <44444
    Cas

1 - 6 of 6