So Cold, So Still

Grace clung to him tightly, her hands fisting in the collar of his shirt. She could barely feel his heart beating against her chest as another rack of painful sobs escaped from her.1

‘It was never meant to be like this.' 2

“I know honey, I know”3

Had she spoke, or did he just know her so well that he knew her thoughts? In the end though, she found herself not really caring.4

As she cried harder, Matt's arms tightened around her waist, using himself as her anchor, and trying to hold on to whatever sanity he had left as this pain they shared ripped their through their bodies; shattering them both to pieces. 5

The room was peaceful except for their constant flow of sadness, the other occupants watching, with sadness clouding their eyes and hearts.6

A pain felt and shared.7

'It shouldn’t be like this.' 8

“Shhh baby, It’s okay, I’m here…I’m here”9

“Why us Matt: why us?”10

“I don’t know baby”11

'It shouldn't be this hard! Why is it so hard?' 12

His hand stroked her back, soothing her as she shook. She pulled back and looked at the child that the nurse finally brought over to them, its pale, cold face staring back up at them. The tears only fell harder for them both.13

So much pain, so much hurt, so much grief…so cold, so goddamn cold.14

So cold, so still…so very still!15

This couldn’t be their child, it wasn’t supposed to feel so cold, and they weren’t supposed to feel so much pain.16

If only her eyes weren’t open, maybe it would be that much easier to grieve, to let go and maybe make it just a little easier to forget. 17

Its life wasn’t supposed to end the minute it started.18

It was never supposed to be like this.19


So Cold, So still…