What do Men Really Want

I know that this age-old adage has been exclusively applied to women but let’s face it, us guys are just as complicated. Ok, maybe not as complicated, still, we are pretty close! We have made a habit of chiding women for not knowing what they want when it is often us who are sending mixed signals to them. 1

We say by our ogling eyes that we want a girl who dresses in tight blouses, no bra, and the shortest skirt available, yet these are the last girls in the world we would bring home or consider as a candidate for a lasting and committed relationship. We want our girlfriends to be smart, but they intimidate us if they are smarter than we are. We like them to be independent with a mind of their own, but can’t stand a girl who doesn’t make us feel that she needs us.2

So what does a girl do to catch the guy of her dreams? Well, all you need to be is, smart but not too smart. Pretty but not so pretty that we think we will loose you to a better-looking guy. You have to be a nice dresser, “hot,” but not so hot, that you would cause Mom to faint. You have to show us that you want us but never make us feel that you are stalking us. You have to be independent but desperately in need of us to do things for you and to steer you in the right direction in all moral and ethical decisions. In short, you have to be everything that we think we want, and yet not. 3

Ok, now that I have told you everything you need to know, go out and get your guy!4

All right, I am sorry! I haven’t really told you anything, have I? 5

The best thing I can think of doing is to tell to you what I tell my daughters. “BE YOURSELF”!6

Not really earth shattering advice, is it? I know it is the same thing that your mom or dad has told you. Well guess what? They are right!7

You will never be able to keep a guy if you are pretending to be someone other than your self. One thing that a guy wants is a girl that is genuine. Honesty with yourself and with him will win you huge brownie points. Sure, it is important that you try on new things and interests, but don’t force yourself into a mold that doesn’t fit. Be confident in the person that you are!8

Have moral integrity! Believe it or not, guys do fall for girls who exhibit maturity and attributes that resemble those of their mother. It is not “sick” it is only natural that the girls we are attracted to seem to us, as being someone who would make a faithful companion and having strong spiritual beliefs is a plus! Don’t bend your beliefs to make any guy happy, he will only use you and then leave after he tires of you.9

Laugh. Guys love girls who have a good sense of humor, especially ones who can laugh at themselves. But don’t force it, if you find something funny then laugh your heart out, but if it is not funny don’t.10

Body language usually comes naturally but here are some pointers.
Touch your guy! Now I am not saying in a sexual way. I mean to punch his shoulder once in awhile (not all the time). Grab his hand when you want his attention, brush up against him when you are close. Even the densest of us guys won’t miss these signals!
Make eye contact, but don’t stare at him. Making quick glances are a huge turn on and will communicate that you desire to get to know him better.
When you sit next to your guy, cross your legs toward him. When you are talking, don’t be “closed up,” meaning don’t cross your arms over your chest, be open, animated, showing that you are interested in what he says. The best way I can explain this is for you to think of it as Feng Shui for your body. Every part of you needs to “flow” towards your guy, so let it flow, but be careful that you don’t appear to be coming on to him, remember he needs to feel in control.11

Make your guy feel as if HE is initiating your blossoming relationship. This is a fine line because some guys are really slow at getting the point that you like them. Don’t let him see how hard you are trying, work “under his radar.”12

Don’t be afraid to say “No.” If your guy is asking you to do something that you know you shouldn’t, or is even questionable, say no! He will not dump you for it and will only respect you more.13

Be mysterious! Don’t unload your entire life’s story on your first date. Always keep yourself private, never tell all, only give your guy glimpses of the completely wonderful person you are. His curiosity will drive him crazy; he won’t be able to think of anything else but you!14

Expect him to treat you like a lady! Don’t budge on this one! You are a young woman and you need to be treated as one, with all the respect and honor due you. Wait for him to open doors for you, never let him berate you, and let him know that you expect this from him by your words. If he does something that you don’t like, tell him!15

Don’t be desperate! Guys will feel as if they can’t get away from you fast enough if you are always rushing towards them. Give them space and remember to make them feel as if they are the ones making the first move.16

Use your friends! That’s right, I said to use your friends! Now, I don’t mean in a bad way. I mean for you to use them as a conduit from which important relational information can pass. Mutual friends are a very good way to find out how your guy feels toward you, so listen to them. Ask a mutual friend to subtlety bring up your name while talking to your guy, you can’t ask for a better source of information that that! However, be careful to choose a trusted friend and use the greatest care on how you interpret their correspondence. Even a very positive response that your friend brings back to you could have been misunderstood, as well as a negative response. Follow your heart but don’t neglect the cautions of others.17

Value yourself. I know that this sounds like an obvious suggestion but be careful not to let yourself be used by others. Stay in control, move forward slowly, and think before acting. Love really is blind. When you are in love, the fine lines between right and wrong are very foggy, if visible at all! You will find that you will think of doing things to win, or to keep, your guy, which you would have never ever considered just a few days before. Remember that you are an immensely valuable creation of God; don’t cheapen yourself by doing what you know you shouldn’t.18

Make sure that your guy is worthy of you! Don’t close your eyes from seeing the faults of others. Don’t fall for the romanticized Bad Boy; it only works out in the movies, not in real life. Just take a ride past your nearest county jail and see how many beautiful women are out there waiting to pick up their guy. I see this every day as I work right next to the Los Angeles Count Jail, it is unbelievably sad!19

Lastly, have fun! Don’t be too serious, heck you both are still young and have all the time in the world. 20

Live, Love, and Laugh, but mostly Love!21