Black is the color of my wings right now1
for the darkness of my conscience.2
Representing my anger held within3
at myself for keeping these things inside.4
The smooth black feathers that sway with the wind5
as I stand on the bridge6
staring out at the crashing water below7
as lonely tears mix with the falling rain.8
An image of you in wavering in the water9
the steady beating of my own heart10
an indescribable pain in each beat11
yet each painful beat wakes me to the truth.12
The rain dies down, the sun shines through.13
Something glimmers under black feathers14
a ribbon of dark purple, outshining the black15
my hope for that which can save me.16
A love that grows, hidden in the darkness17
a small glimmer of color shines like a star.18
The color that spreads when I see your smile.19
I hurt so much, yet I can't help but smile.20
That bittersweet color seeps over the black21
this new emotion within me22
so painful, so wonderful.23
With each black feather that falls to the ground24
and each purple feather that replaces it,25
I find, more and more,26
My love for you.27
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A contest entry
- What colour are YOUR wings? by abba12.
225 points, ended March 29, 2008, 25 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Awesome
This is great. I have felt this way many times myself, so I understand where you are coming from here! Great first attempt.
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Wow. You say its your first attempt at poetry? Its very good... a lot better then my first. lol.
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This is pretty good.
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this is really pretty, but its very hard to read with the background. a nice poem. i love that the colour is changing slowly as you open. good work
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i applaud you
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its difrent but i like it
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Damn. I forgot the wings after my in the first line. It should be fixed now
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This is a good poem. i loved the part about the purple ribbon, it was a very good image. Also, the part about the tears and the rain, very well done. might i suggest some imporvements?
You grammer is a little off at times. at the beginning: "Black is the color of my right now." Shouldn't it be "me?" if u meant it as black is the color of the time im in right now, consider changing it so that the reader is not confused. Make sure that the beginning of every new line starts with a capital letter too.
keep writing, you are very good at this style!
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not every new line needs to be a capital, in fact it can look tacky heh. Only use capitals at the begining of a sentince unless there are no real sentinces, in which case yes, each line is usually right.
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