Dark Figure (Chapter 3 Etched)

3. Dark Figure1

I leaned against the side of the window, my left leg dangling over the cold sill and deeply breathed in the cool fall night air. It smelled of fallen leaves, but it felt heavy as I breathed it in. The sky was pitch black, the stars twinkling brightly against it in an undescribable rhythm. The thin sliver of ghostly white moon was high in the center of the sky. It was barely there. Barely any of the moon was there. Off in the distance a wold bayed to the moon, a pitiful cry. The air was comfortable, cool, inviting. The grass was covered in a thin layer of night-time dew filling the air with a light grassy smell. It looked dark and green even though I knew that in the light it would appear light and brittle, dead. The yard was covered in a blanket of various shades of reds, yellows, oranges, and browns. The enormous trees were all bare and they blew in the strong wind. The light from my bedroom window shone on the, small dead trees creating an eerie feeling. I dismissed this and kept my thoughts somewhere else. 2

I looked up at the stars and smiled. They were beautiful, the only source of light in the endless darkness. I kept my eyes locked on the star-filled sky. I picked out the North Star, the constellations. Though it was dark, it was beautiful. Just so beautiful. I loved nights like these. So peaceful. So wonderful. I hugged my other knee to my chest tightly keeping my rested head turned in the direction of the deep woods. I twisted the end of blue and white plaid pants with my fingers and hummed a soft peaceful tune quietly to myself. I didn’t cry though I was thinking of him and only him. 3

Hunter hadn’t been at school the rest of the long week, but that didn’t surprise me at all. It didn’t bother me either. Without him at school it had been much easier. I didn’t feel uncomfortable or tired. I felt-somewhat-happy. I had been able to talk to other people without feeling strange and out of place. Luke sat with us all week. I didn’t mind. He-apparently- didn’t either. I realized that he was-in a strange way-very much like Hunter. He was funny and kind, perfect. We stayed science partners. Sara and Tom became partners. I just loved being around him even though I had known him for such a short time it was like. . . It was like I had met him somewhere before. It was like I knew him so much. Cassie-without Hunter there-didn’t avoid me. She didn’t spend the whole lunch period talking to Dan either. She talked to me. She didn’t seem to be tense when she was around me. She didn’t mention him. I don’t think that she ever wanted to. I was thankful for that. I didn’t bring him up either. No one did. Not even Luke. I had even made plans with her to do something this weekend-though I have no clue as to what that would be. Something out of town maybe in Portland or something. I wondered what. Dan-which doesn’t surprise me- was still Dan and he had never really been that comfortable around me. Things between Dan and I didn’t change. Hunter might as well have just been there. I tried to make conversation with him a few times, but the sound of my voice just seemed to pull him out of his comfort zone so I didn’t bother. Why should I? I didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable, strange. No one bothered me. I could concentrate. My thoughts weren’t always on him anymore. It was as if he had never existed. I still did wonder where he was. I wondered if he was avoiding me for awhile or if he was really sick or not. I knew when he did come back to school that things would be different like they had never been before. He would avoid me. I wouldn’t try to avoid him though. I would try to talk to him. I would try to stay friends with him. I wanted. . . I wanted so bad to be his friend. I never wanted him to not be a part of my life. I sighed. This was ridiculous. I wanted to stop thinking of him, but I couldn’t. 4

I closed my eyes and hugged myself keeping my knee bent on the sill. The wind blew against my pale skin sending a chilling shiver up my spine. My body went rigid, so stiff I could barely move. I breathed quick heavy breaths. It was silent. There was nothing to be heard, but my quick breathes. Something was wrong. This night felt strange and unnerving. I didn’t know why. There was nothing wrong. I was alone. It could have been the darkness. It was a strange blackness. A blackness so deep you couldn’t escape. It wasn’t the blackness of night. It was far from that.5

I shifted again and swung my left leg back and forth letting in brush the tall wet grass. It tickled the bottom of my rough feet, but I didn’t stop. It felt good, soft. I wanted to get down from my window and lay in the grass. I pushed off the sill and stood up. My feet pressed into the soft earth. I wiggled my toes and let the grass tickle every inch of my feet and in between them. I looked down at my chipped toe nails then averted my eyes so I was looking forward, into the woods. The grass was cold and soft against my feet. I pressed my back to the side of the house and crouched down so I was sitting in the grass. I straightened out my legs. I could feel the wetness of the grass seeping through my pant legs. The side of the house was cold and hard, but I didn’t move. The light from my bedroom was shining out in front of me in a straight thin path. It reminded me of sitting out in the yard during the summer time. I pressed my hands down into the soft earth leaving light prints of them. 6

I couldn’t help but be curious about this strange sensation of fear that was creeping through my entire body. I started to hum again-louder this time-for I hated this complete silence. It bothered me. I felt strange. I folded my arms across my chest pressing my dirty hands against my white tank top leaving two brown prints on it. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth letting the light breeze blow in and dry it. The smell of the grass and leaves was stronger down here sitting on the ground. It was softer and cooler down here though giving the hint of a true fall night. I could fall asleep sitting down here in silence. It was comfortable and it seemed-at the moment-better then trying to fall asleep in my bed. Perfect. It seemed perfect. I knew my mother would not approve. I started to get up but decided otherwise. I didn’t want to move. It was like standing in the rain. It felt wonderful to sit here in the darkness. It felt wonderful to be alone for once. Alone. I sat there for a few minutes deep in thought, just thinking some things over, lifting heavy uncomfortable weights off of my chest. 7

I moved forward so my back was off of the wall and leaned down so I was laying in the grass. The wetness now seeped through my shirt. I was uncomfortable. My clothes were damp, sticking to my skin. The wind blew across my skin icily. I shivered, but I didn’t move. I folded my arms under my hand and laid on them. I looked up at the sky and watched as the few thin gray clouds blew across the stars and over the moon. I listened to the sounds of the forests. My house was quiet. I wouldn’t be out here if Scott and Carol were still awake. The window to there room was dark. I doubted that they knew that I was out here. Carol would have said something to me if she did know. I ran my hand along the soft head of the grass. It tickled my palm lightly. I let out a short giggle, but stopped abruptly. I bent my knees again as if I was going to do a sit up. I placed my palm on my knees and pushed on them. I sat up so my belly was pressing against my legs. The wind blew my hair across my face tickling me. I tucked it behind my ears. I blinked a few times. 8

I couldn’t help, but think of him again. I had a hard time not doing so. This constant movement was to distract me from doing so. It wasn’t working tonight. I looked back to the night on the beach. I saw his smile. I thought of the. . . the shell. I looked down and touched it. It was cold and felt like stone. I held it in my palm and squeezed it. I felt the sharp edges press into my skin. I unfolded my palm and looked down. There was a large red imprint of a heart impressed deep in my skin. I bent my head and twisted my fingers around the seaweed chain. I pulled and the brittle piece snapped apart. I held it in my hand and stared down at it for a moment. The tip was still bright red. It was still stained with blood. I reached my arm up and set it down on the sill. The seaweed slipped through the large whole and fell to the ground vanishing in a sea of green. I didn’t bother to look for it. I shook my head to block the thoughts of him. I stayed silent and listened. 9

“Skyler*. . .” I heard a soft whisper echo through my ears. I listened again and heard the same thing multiple times. I bit my lip and looked around. I was still alone. I turned so my body was facing in the direction of the forest. I stood and looked deep into the woods. I took slow hesitant steps towards the entrance. I seemed to be in a trance. I could not stop myself. My head stayed facing forward. My eyes, blank. My arms lay limp at my side. I stepped onto the soft moss covered ground taking my first steps into the dark forest. 10

I had never been in it at night. I was afraid to. I had been afraid of what lived inside the forests, but I didn’t feel afraid now. I didn’t feel anything. I continued to walk, my steps were slow and planned. I avoided everything. I didn’t stumble or trip on anything. It seemed like nothing was in my way. My steps were perfect, clean something they had never been before. It was strange. My body seemed to be tingling, tiny electric shocks sky-rocketing through it. It was a wonderful addictive feeling. Though I wanted to stop I couldn’t. My feet were guiding me. I was giving into an invisible force. This force was an all powerful one. I couldn’t fight against it. It had its hold on me. 11

It continued to guide me through an unknown maze of trees and brush. . I had no clue where I was going or where I was. I wanted to turn back. I tried. I tried as hard as I could, but I could not turn back. I snapped to attention when I heard a soft voice-it was almost inaudible-echoing through my ears. I could not make out what it was saying. It was beautiful though. It was the most beautiful voice I had ever heard. I listened attentively. I needed to hear this voice. It was addictive. I walked deeper into the woods listening to the voice the whole way not bothering to look to see where I was walking or what was in front of me. The voice soon stopped. My head suddenly began to throb in pain. I pressed my palm on my forehead and closed my eyes. I had never felt this kind of pain before. My head felt as if it was being ripped open. 12

I moaned. I couldn’t support myself. My legs faltered and I fell to the cold hard ground. My head slammed against a large tree trunk. I screamed in pain. I curled up into a ball and withered in pain. I couldn’t stop it. Oh god. Please, please stop. I screamed again and began to shake uncontrollably. I didn’t know where I was or what had happened. I couldn’t remember anything, only pain.13

I lay still for a moment and listened to the sounds of the night. They were loud and high-pitched. It made my head throb again. Stop! Please, please stop! I moaned a loudly. I dug my nails into the dirt and kicked the ground the with the heels of my feet as hard as I could. I felt dirty and sick. I felt like I needed to throw up. My body was burning up and the sweat stuck to my pajamas. I rolled onto my stomach and searched for something that I could use as support. Something I could use to help me stand up. My hand brushed the rough bark of the tree. It scraped my hand. It began to burn. I didn’t reach for it. I fumbled to wrap my arm around the trunk. I linked my fingers together and pulled my body closer to the tree. I forced my legs up and leaned against the tree. My legs were shaking under my weight. I kept my one hand on the tree and the other on my throbbing forehead. What was going on? I needed this to stop. I breathed deep uneven breathes. I closed my eyes and tried to calm down. This wasn’t happening. I was still sitting under my bedroom window. I was dreaming. No, I was having a terrible nightmare. 14

“Hello Skyler*,” I heard a soft voice call. It was a man’s voice. It was the voice that had guided me. My eyes flashed open. I scanned the area. Who had said my name? Where were they standing? I saw nothing, but a pair of white* eyes. They had no pupils. If they had a silhoutte I would not have been able to see them in the blackness.15

“Who’s there?” I asked my voice trembling, full of fear. No one answered me. I pushed away from the tree and stood tall my shoulders back. “Who’s there?” I asked again. “Show yourself.” I ordered. I tried to sound strong, but like before my voice trembled with fear. Still no answer. Only silence. I looked around my hands clenched into fists. “So weak. . . “ I heard a soft yet strong and dangerous voice whisper. 16

“Go away. Leave me alone. What do you want?” My whole body was shaking. 17

“You. . .” responded the beautiful voice.18

I didn’t move. I felt his breath on the side of my neck. It sent a strange sensation through my body. It went stiff and rigid. I was frozen. I turned my head. I didn’t see anything. No one was there. 19

“Please,” I begged. “Leave me alone.” I stood still listening though I heard nothing now. I felt alone, but the air was cold. No, I wasn’t alone. Someone was there. I took a step back and bumped into something cold. I turned my head and saw nothing. My heart was racing. I felt something cold touching my skin. I shivered violently. He wrapped his hand around my arm and squeezed tightly. I screamed in pain and dropped to my knees. Oh god, please. . . . I was shaking. I couldn’t stop. My whole body. . . I was so scared. He wasn’t going to leave me. I was trapped. I was lost. I felt something sharp rub across my neck though it did not puncture my skin. The shivering became more violent, harder, uncontrollable. I felt myself drifting. I forced myself to stay awake. I was not going to give in to him. 20

“Sleep Skyler*. The pain will go away if you sleep now,” the soft voice commanded. I listened as he repeated himself over and over again. The voice seemed so familiar. . . I shook my head defiantly.21

“No. No!” 22

I screamed as another wave of pain shot through my body. I began to hyperventilate deeply.23

“Sleep, dream,” the voice commanded again with much more authority. I couldn’t obey, but I was frightened. I was afraid of what would happen to me if I did fall asleep. I closed my eyes. The cold hands began to stroke my cheek. I flinched. The hand drew back and did not return to touch my face. “Thank you,” I felt like saying, but I didn’t want to offend him. I didn’t want to give him a reason to hurt me. Or was it that I didn’t want to hurt him. He seemed lost. He seemed scared. He was hesitant. I could feel him shaking. I still hadn’t seen the face of the figure. I turned my head and opened my eyes. Piercing red* eyes. They were red* now. I looked deep into them and saw nothing. I saw no feeling, no emotions. I pushed myself up and scooted closer. His body went rigid, but he didn’t move. I tried to see his face, but I only saw blackness. As I drew closer he backed up. Eventually I became too close. He pushed gently though it felt like he had punched my shoulder. I grabbed it and tried not to cry. I felt another wave of pain, but I didn’t move. I stayed strong. He stared into my eyes. They were thin and they had no pupils. They weren’t kind and soft. They were evil and piercing. 24

“Your eyes. . .” I said. He was silent. I reached for his face with my hand, but dropped it short. He was shaking. He began to back up. Though I was scared I needed him to stay. I grabbed his hand, but pulled away sharply and hissed. I shifted back so I was closer to the trees. My hand burned. It was flaming red and pulsing. I looked up at him with frightened eyes. He began to speak, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying. I listened intently. He was singing. The shaking stopped and I became still. I sat there for a moment. My racing heart slowed down to its normal pulse. My body stopped burning. I felt no more pain. His singing calmed me. It made me feel peaceful. I was losing a hold on myself. He was taking over. He was taking control. The pain stopped. Everything stopped. I succumbed to him. I gave in. He moved tentatively towards me. He circled me in a perfect rhythm. I followed him with my eyes. I didn’t move. I was completely still. I was completely silent. He hissed again. I closed my eyes. I didn’t watch him. I felt strange to do so. I didn’t know what he looked like. I wanted to see his face, but he would only let me see his shadow. I felt him drawing closer and closer to me. The air around me was now extremely cold. He was still singing softly to me. What he was singing I wanted to know so bad. I couldn’t make out any of the words though I listened as closely as I could, but he was just too quiet. I opened my eyes now and watched his lips, but I could not read them. I snapped my eyes shut when I felt his cool gentle touch.25

Familiar. Everything about him was familiar except for his eyes. They frightened me. I had never seen anything like it. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, but I could still see the deep blood red circles. I didn’t open my eyes. I could feel him closer to me now more than ever. His breathing was loud and uneven. He seemed frightened. He didn’t want to do what he was about to do to me. He rested his head on my shoulder and sang into my ears. His voice trembled a bit. He was shaking. I dismissed this though. He shouldn’t be scared. I should be. Was I? I didn’t know the answer to that question? I shifted my weight onto my right foot as though I was swaying lightly back and forth. I felt like I was floating, that I was weightless. It was a strange comforting feeling. It was something that I had never felt before. He began to stroke my face gently again. I didn’t flinch. I didn’t move. I barely felt his touch. I had never been around someone who was so gentle when they touched you. But he wasn’t gentle. He had harmed me. I would never forget the feeling of endless pain. 26

“It’s okay. It’s okay. . .” he whispered into my ear as if he had read my mind. He knew that I had fear even if it was hidden deep somewhere where I could not find it. I let his voice soothe me. I felt a softness on my neck. His hair. He rubbed his head against my neck. My heart rate was picking up again. I turned his head again and pressed his face into it. He opened his mouth and I felt his warm breath. 27

“Forgive me. . .” he commanded softly.28

“Why?”29

He didn’t answer me. He held me in his arms. I tried to turn my face towards him, but he gently pushed it in the other direction. For a few seconds there was silence. He took a deep breath and plunged something sharp into my neck. My body went instantly limp. I couldn’t feel myself. I saw my face, and then his. I screamed. Stop, please stop, I wanted to say. He pulled away. I opened my eyes. I felt dizzy. I stumbled, but quickly recovered my footing. I looked at him. His mouth was open, his teeth bared. Two of them were sharp. Two sharp to be human. They hung below the rest of his teeth. I shook my head. He was covered in blood. His teeth stained red. He hissed and arched his back. 30

Terrified. I was terrified of him. I turned instantly and ran. I stumbled a few times my legs still limp and sore. My head was throbbing in pain again. What had just happened? I could feel my heart racing. I could not escape the cold presence surrounding me. He was running after me. He hadn’t stayed behind. I feel the same cold stone on my arm. I turned my head, still running and looked around. Nothing. Nothing at all, only blackness. I breathed deeper, heavier. It was so loud I couldn’t hear anything. I wanted to escape him. I was terrified. I didn’t know where I was. I looked up through the trees and straight to the moon. The thinnest sliver shining so brightly with a shadow at the center. It was eerie. I could hear him breathing, but I couldn’t hear his footsteps as he ran. There was my footsteps and silence. I ran faster picking up my throbbing legs. They moaned in protest. I was running out of breath. I had to keep going through. I felt as if I was going to faint. 31

I stumbled over a enormous root and fell to the hard ground. My face slammed into the dirt. I could feel something cool trickling down my chin. Blood. I lifted my head off the ground and wiped my mouth. The smell of drying blood filled the air. I felt instantly sick. I clutched my stomach. I got on my knees and dry heaved, but nothing came out. I felt someone’s breath on my face I pushed up. All the blood rushed to my head. I leaned against a tree for a moment then regained my composer and continued to run with my dark hair flowing behind me. I felt the wind rushing into my ears. The sound echoed through. I pumped my arms harder. I wanted to get home, but I didn’t know where I was going. I tried to run, but he was holding me. I stumbled again, but quickly recovered my footing. I wasn’t going to fall. I felt the blood trickling down from lip to my chest. 32

“Let go!” I screamed and pulled away as hard as I could in a desperate attempt to free myself. I heard my elbow crack. I withered in pain, but I didn’t stop. My arm was pulsing in pain where I had been grabbed. It was instantly purple. Nothing was broken, but I was in so much pain. The air around me was still cool. I wasn’t alone, not yet. I could see his eyes. They were too dark to still be considered red. They were filled with a mad insanity. 33

“Please go away!,” I yelled my voice filled with all the fear in the world. I didn’t run. I stood still clutching my right arm. 34

“Please!” I begged. I turned at the sound of his deep breathing. I turned sharply and looked deep into the woods. I saw his tall dark figure. I could only make out his silhouette. I could feel tears streaming down my face. It hurt so much. I could barely stand it. I took a pitiful step forward. A mistake. I stumbled and fell to the ground. I landed on my arm. I screamed in pain. I rolled onto my back and squeezed my eyes shut. I could still hear his heavy uneven breathes. 35

“Please leave,” I tried to scream but I could only manage a whisper. I felt my eyes closing. What’s happening? What are you? Who are you? Where am I? What do you want? So many questions filled my head. They were questions I needed to know the answers to, now. They begged to be answered, but I would never get the answers I wanted. He would never tell me. 36

“Why do you want to hurt me!?” I screamed. I looked around desperately. Where was he? 37

“I don’t want to hurt you.” I looked around, but still saw nothing. “I would never want to do that,” he continued to reassure me.38

“Liar!” I screamed. 39

He didn’t say anything after that. I decided that I would ask him the question that had been bothering me the most. It was a simple easy one. 40

“Who are you?” I shouted into the night my words vanishing into the wind. I heard a rustle in the trees. I spun around and he jumped from the trees to the ground. He landed perfectly on his feet. He didn’t stumble. His eyes were lowered to the ground. When he looked up I almost jumped back in fright. Just like every other time I had looked at him my eyes went right to his. They were still dark red. They were wide, insane. The pupils were coming back into view just barely showing at the top. They were swirling with a smokey black color. He didn’t answer my question for a moment.41

“You know who I am Skyler*. .*” he said in a mocking yet serious tone. I shook my head. 42

“No.”43

He sighed and started to walk towards me. He took slow tentative steps.44

“You really are clueless,” he told me laughing. 45

I took a step back . He laughed and turned. I blinked and he was gone. 46

“It is hard to resist you. . “ he called. I looked up at the trees, but I did not see him. I took another step back.47

“It’s painful Skyler*. I think you know what it feels like,” he said beautifully, but his voice it was trembling. I turned when he breathed on my neck. He was standing right in front of me. He grabbed my arms tightly. I could make out some of his features now. He was large and tall. His skin was pale, his black hair unruly. He bent his head and pressed his lips to my throat. He kissed it then pulled his head back. His eyes were worse now then ever. I pulled away letting his hand slide down my arms. His nails cut into the skin. He withered in pain as the small lines of blood ran down my arm. I opened my mouth and let it hang there. I looked down at my arms in fear. I turned my head to see him curled up in a ball on the ground. I gave him a sympathetic look-though he didn’t see it- and turned to run. His cries of pain echoed through my ears. I ran frantically not knowing where I was running to. I was by myself now. I wanted to escape him. I didn’t want to hear his cries. Faster, I ordered myself. I looked up at the sky using the stars as a guide back home. Where was I? Maybe if it was light out I would know where I was. The wind whistled through my ears. It blew strong whipping my across my face. Though I was tired I didn’t stop running. My muscles were sore. I was beginning to cramp. I didn’t stop to take a breath. I kept my mouth closed and mustered up the strength to continue on. 48

Who was he? No, the question was what was he? He was nothing I had ever seen before. He wasn’t perfect. From what I had seen his skin had been extremely pale. His hair was dark. He was large and muscular. He looked so powerful. He had almost crushed my arm. It still throbbed in pain. I had never heard such a soft beautiful voice singing such a beautiful song. It could control you. He could control you. His teeth were unhuman. But his eyes. Oh god. They were deep red and the color seemed to grow darker and darker. His pupils had disappeared behind his eyes. He was mad, insane. But in a way he was so familiar, like I did know him. 49

He hadn’t given me a straight forward answer when I asked him who he was. He didn’t want me to know who he was. He was determined to keep me from knowing. He wouldn’t even let me see his face. He hid in the shadows only-but just barely-revealing some of his dark face at the end. He was just so mysterious and strange, but he seemed frightened and alone. 50

“I think you know what it feels like Skyler*. . .”51

I recalled his words. I shook my head and looked forward through the trees. I searched for a source of artificial light, the light that came from my open bedroom window. The light that would tell me that I was home, that I wouldn’t have to worry. I wished that I would have stayed sitting under the window. I wished that I would have gone to bed. Why had I given in? I tried not to think on him. It-just like it was hard to with Hunter-was hard to not think of him. I averted my thoughts from him to Scott and Carol.52

I was cut and bruised. I knew I looked horrible. It hurt so much to even just breath. I felt sickly. I didn’t know what Scott and Carol would say if they ever saw me like this. Scott wouldn’t be surprised-considering my clumsiness. Carol would be a different story. I would never hear the last of it from her. I was worried that she would find out. She wouldn’t be worried about my lip. I could tell her that I just fell and smacked my lip off of the counter. My bruised and cut arms would be a different story. I stopped for a moment and looked down at them. I held them out in front of me. The blood was drying black on my arms. Dark red lines still ran down along the surface of my white skin. Near my elbows were two think black and blue marks. I pressed down on them lightly with my forefingers. It pulsed in pain. I instantly pulled my fingers away. 53

“Ouch,” I whispered. 54

I reached up to my lip. It felt large, puffy. The dry blood was caked on my chin, but the bleeding had stopped. I felt around for the cut running my finger along the chapped surface until I reached a hard spot, the cut. The very top of my shirt was soaked with blood. My pants were damp. I was terribly uncomfortable. I started to walk again wondering aimlessly now not bothering to look at my surrounding for any clue as to were I was. That didn’t matter right now. I walked forward taking an occasional turn for about another half hour until I saw a bright yellow light. I ran towards it tearing my way through the forest. I stepped out of the forest into my backyard. The grass was soft. My feet throbbed in pain from walking all over the rocks and sticks that covered the forest floor. I looked forward. My body cast a long shadow. My parents bedroom window was black. Thank God. 55

I walked slowly to my bedroom window. The shell was still resting on the sill. I picked it up and held it in my palm. I turned it over. I threw it into my room onto my bed. It landed in the center and disappeared into the white comforter. I lifted my leg over the sill. I looked into the forest. There was something standing in the shadows. I scurried into my room and pulled down the window quickly, but quietly. I locked it tightly and stared into the woods. I pulled the curtains shut for the fear of seeing it again. 56

I turned and sighed. I had to wash up. I tiptoed out of my room and into the hallway. I walked down to the bathroom. I pulled the door shut as quietly as I could. I looked in the mirror. My bottom lip was large and puffy. My arms looked as they had in the darkness. I opened the sink counter and pulled out a dark blue washcloth. I ran hot water over it and dabbed my lip and chin. Without the blood my lip looked somewhat normal. The cut was barely visible. I washed it out and ran more water over it. My arms stung. I bit my lips keeping them taught as I cleaned away the blood. The cuts on my arm were thin and ran down from my shoulder to my elbows. The bleeding had stopped though which was good. Out of curiosity I looked at the digital clock on the counter top. It was past midnight. 1:34 a.m. 57

I yawned. I could feel my eyelids becoming heavy. Would I be able to fall asleep tonight? I left the bathroom hastily not bothering to keep my movements quiet. I was in a daze. I don’t think I fully-or even just a little-realized what had just happened to me in the forest. Would I ever? I shut my bedroom door and sat down on the edge of the bed. I rubbed my temples tenderly. I was still shaking a little. I was still frightened. 58

Had the figure out side my window been him? I would have loved to think otherwise, but I was doubtful that it wasn’t. Had he followed me home? Would he ever come back? Or would I be the one who would follow his soft calling song? The song that no one could escape. The song that you must obey. Oh God, I loved it though, oh God. 59

I leaned back and let the rest of my body hit the bed. It felt great to be on something soft. I felt my muscles relax and my heart rate slow almost-no-simultaneously. My breathing was normal now. I was safe, but it was hard to truly believe that I was. I saw the strength he had, he was potent. I looked down at my bruises. Following my intuition I knew that I may not be as safe as I thought. I shook that thought from my head. I looked over at the window. The curtains were still except for the soft ruffling of the folds that hung over the vent. The window was closed.60

I pushed myself up and walked over to the chair next to the window. I sat down letting my body sink into the cushions. I hung my feet over the vent letting the hot air warm them. I pulled the edge of the curtains away from the window and looked out. I saw nothing as far as my eyes could see. I only saw the dark night sky. I sighed and let the curtain fall back in place. Did I want to see him again? The answer was not clear to me. Though, I thought, it never will be. I sat there for a few minuted letting my mind wander through a jumble of thoughts always keeping my eyes on the window.61

I averted my eyes it-soon there after- and turned to my dresser. I had to change. I couldn’t take the dirty feeling for much longer.62

I scurried over to the dresser and looked in the mirror. Yes, I would have to change immediately. I opened the top draw and pulled out an oversized t-shirt and long shorts. I peeled off the dirty pajamas and tossed them into the white clothes hamper. The landed hanging over the edge. I didn’t bother to fix it. I switched the light switch and the room filled with darkness. I held my arms out in front of, groping for the bedpost. My wrist smacked against it. I pulled it back instantly and grabbed it with my free hand.63

“Oww,” I exclaimed shaking my wrist. It tingled with pain. Was there anyway that I could go for an hour without hurting myself tonight?64

“Ow. . “ I whispered to myself again. I gritted my teeth keeping my lips closed for the fear of crying. With my free arm I grabbed the bedpost and walked forward. I could make out its dark silhouette. I slid onto the bed and crossed my legs Indian style. I sat in the center and looked down at the comforter, tracing the diamond patterns with my fingers-trying, trying so heard to clear my mind so I could sleep. It was hard to make out the thread that made up the pattern. I sat there for a few minutes-though I felt very silly and I wanted to stop. I sighed. This is useless. I shook my head and scrambled off of the bed.65

I pulled down the comforter and crawled it. The mattress and blankets were cool. I shivered and pulled them tighter anxious to warm them up. I pressed my chin over the edge of the blankets and curled my fists around them to keep them close. I felt uncomfortable, but I didn’t move. I stared into the darkness trying to make sense of the shapes around me. I could not help it. I saw tonight’s events playing over and over again in my mind. It was hard to make sense of everything that I was thinking and seeing. 66

Most of what I saw was him. I was puzzled. Something hit me and I felt-so bad-like I wanted to hit myself-hard. I did not know his name. My stupidity crushed me. How had I not realized that? But did I really need to know it? Yes, I did. I feared that I would never know it. To me he was him and nothing more. Him. For the days, weeks that only thoughts of Hunter filled my head I now could only think of him. One hour of knowing this dangerous man, this boy- and never really truly knowing anything about him- and my mind could not be taken off of him. Him.67

I lie in silence for a few moments just looking up, staring at the ceiling. I placed my hand on my chest feeling the steady rising and falling of it. There was nothing to do, but lie here in silence, nothing at all. I listened to the quiet sound of the air blowing through the vent. I turned onto my side and pulled the blankets tighter. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. It was not long until I drifted. 68

****************69

In my dream he was there. He was talking, singing, but I could not make out anything of what he was saying though I knew his voice was filled with anger. Our voices melded together. My mind was pulsing with pain as I tried to make any sense of anything. He was hidden in the shadows. I could not see him. There was something different though. It was the light. It was a blinding white light, edged with darkness and shadows. I couldn’t move, but I wanted to find him. I wasn’t speaking words now. I was screaming. I realized-as my head throbbed-that I was feeling pain. It was the endless pain that spread through your entire body like wild fire. He suddenly appeared at my side. He whispered something unintelligible then began to sing again. I was drifting. I couldn’t fight it, not now. I felt something cold grip me. I screamed and began to shake. He began to breath on my neck. I couldn’t resurface. There was nothing I could do, nothing I could say. He sang louder moving his face closer. I screamed for the final time as a jolt of uncontrollable pain shot through my body.70

My head-like in my dream-was throbbing with pain. It was covered in nervous sweat. My breathing was heavy and loud. My heart was racing. Oh god what had just happened? I had dreamed a dream. No, a nightmare. I turned on my side and moaned. I laid still for a moment letting the pain subside a little. My eyes fluttered for a few moments then flashed open. My whole body was shaking. I kicked what little blankets there were on me to the end of the bed. The room felt terribly warm. My arms and legs were sprawled out allowing the cool air to wrap around them. The cool air tingled my skin, but it felt good. I laid there for a few minutes looking around frantically. I stared at the clock. It was past four a.m. I moaned and rolled off of back and onto my side. I had to go back to sleep. I tried to keep my eyes closed. My eyelids were not heavy. I didn’t feel tired. The room seemed brighter than I knew it was. It was too early to be or seem so bright. I sighed and opened my eyes wide. Would this end tonight? 71

I sat there for moments at a time just drifting in and out of a restless sleep. Anger filled me as I tried-tried so hard-to sleep. Eventually I began to cry. I heard his voice-so pure and perfect-and I drifted. I knew I would see him again.72

“Sleep Sklyer*. The pain will go away if you sleep now.”