Nikki Mötley -Into the Darkness: Part I

Part I.1

Nikki Mötley (born Nikki-Christine Mötley) was born on December 6th, 1982 in Los Angeles, California at one in the morning. She was born to twenty-four year old Vince Mötley and eighteen year old Sharice Anders. Vince and Sharice never married and Sharice walked out on Vince and their daughter on January 1st, 1983. To this day, Vince says that the reason why she left was because she was too young to be a mother and that she didn’t want to waste her youth raising a child. If that was the case, then why did she have a child?2

Taking on the role of Nikki’s biological father and only parent, Vince moved out of his house and bought the house he always wanted to buy-a gothic like mansion [he supposedly received the money for the mansion from his late father’s inheritance]. It was full of red velvet hangings, antiques, his personal items, and polished gothic furniture. He liked to keep the house dark and loved to prowl around the house from room to room. Nikki loved that house as well. It was the house she practically grew it up in. She had her own room with all of her belongings. And it wasn’t one of those small rooms. It was fit for Nikki Mötley and only for her. 3

As a young child since the age of three years old, Nikki experienced having drugs in her presence. By the year 1985, her father became more than addicted to cocaine and herion. He tried different methods of getting the drug into him so he could get high. He snorted and smoked [supposedly he smoked it] cocaine and when he did herion, he injected it into himself. When he wasn’t able to inject herion in him with a syringe, he injected the syringe in other body parts like the side of his neck.4

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NIKKI MOTLEY: Ever since I was three years old in 1985, my father has been doing cocaine and herion. I never thought much of it because I didn’t know anything about drugs except that it made my father feel good. It made him happy and people were always telling him to get off it but he would just tell them to go fuck themselves. I thought of it to be perfectly normal up until 1988 when he overdosed and nearly died. That’s when I realized that drugs were dangerous.
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Vince eventually needed the drugs he took everyday in order to feel like a normal human being and to function properly just like a sober person. His condition and state got worse the more he did drugs. He sunk deeply into himself and into his addiction. He practically lost all of his weight, and just hung around his house. The girls he used to pick up off from strip clubs and off the streets and the little high school girls stopped coming around. He looked somewhat like a ghost; he looked totally pale and sometimes transparent. He was just terrible. He no longer got laid with women or with young girls so it soon only became just him, Nikki, and the drugs. 6

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NIKKI MOTLEY: Over the years from 1985 to 1988, the drugs took a toll on him. He just looked so fucking terrible. I just thought he was always sick. Whenever I asked him why he didn’t look so good, he’d tell me that he just had the flu and he’d be better soon but he never did get better. I remember being so worried about him because I loved my daddy and I didn’t want anything to happen to him. But look what ended up happening, am I right?
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His paranoid affected his daughter the most out of everything else that happened. Herion gave him acute paranoid which caused him to hallucinate. When he was on herion, he’d be convinced that small Mexican men with guns were hiding around the house, trying to come after him, police officers were peering in the windows and the peephole on the front door, and SWAT members were preparing to bust into the house and get him and take his precious little daughter away from him. 8

When this happened, he would run around the house until he found his daughter, grabbed her by the arm, and dragged her into his bedroom where he shut and locked the door before telling her about what he was convinced of. He always had panic in his voice as Nikki said. And every time he told her, she would believe him. She’d go and look out the window and wouldn’t see anybody. He’d convince her otherwise, stating that they were in hiding. This scared her a great deal and while all of this was happening, her father would be completely naked and sometimes, he’d be waving his shotgun around. 9

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NIKKI MOTLEY: To lots of people especially parents would think of a parent being completely nude in front of their young child as disturbing and more than sick. To me, it was normal and very natural. I was used to it so I didn’t think anything of it. He was my father so that’s another reason why I thought it was okay back then. Most of the time (when just him and I were home alone) he would be like that. But there was much more than just that.
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After he convince himself and Nikki that people were after them, he’d take the two of them into his bedroom closet and close the door. His closet was full of drugs and his guns. Once the two of them were inside, he would sit down and she would sit down on his bare lap, feeling safe. He wouldn’t leave the closet until he came down and herion brought him down quickly. And before any of you ask yourselves, he did do drugs in front of her in that closet. When she was sitting in his lap, he would even stick himself in the arm or anywhere else on his body with the syringe when he used herion. Not only did he inject in his legs, feet, neck, and arms, he also injected in his private area. And the reason why he went in his closet was because it was refuge where he could stay hidden until all hell broke loose in his mind.11

“He was a complete junkie,” Nikki had stated, looking back on the events. 12


There would be complaints made by their neighbors. They would complain about how Vince crawled around the backyard while being naked and carrying his shotgun in the middle of the night. Once in a while, Nikki would get out of bed and look out her window and see him doing it. 13

Another complaint is that when the sun was out during the day and it was a beautiful day out, he would be out in the backyard tanning naked. Sometimes, she would be with him. She was with him most of the time when he was home unless his drug dealer came over because she loved him. She loved her daddy so much and nothing could change that fact.14

He would usually end up throwing up after he did the drugs in the bathroom toilet. When he was throwing up, she would go into the bathroom and hold back his long black hair for him so it didn’t get in his way. After he was finished, she would clean him up the best she could [she cleaned him up completely] and then she would take him by the hand and lead him into his bedroom and force him to go to sleep in his queen sized bed. Usually, she’d sleep with him and other times, she didn’t. When she fell asleep or left the room, he would go back and shoot up again. She knew that he did because he always did. She tried to take care of him because he looked like he couldn’t take care of himself. To some people, it seems messed up but she did it and she knew that he appreciated it. Whether he was sick from withdrawal, or from nearly killing himself from overdosing, she tried her best to take care of him. She didn’t want him to die. 15

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VINCE MOTLEY: Nikki would always be there for me even though I didn’t really deserve it. I should have been the one taking care of her and here she was cleaning up after me, right after I just vomited in the bathroom or when I was cramped up from withdrawal. She may have been three, four, and five years old during the time, but she did what she did because she loved me and I never really realized that she needed her father in a fatherly way until 1988. And for the record, I appreciated every single thing she did for me. 16

NIKKI MOTLEY: I loved my daddy so much and I still do. I love him no matter what and I know he loves me that much. I wished that he realized that I needed him but he didn’t until he overdosed and died in 1988 and the paramedics had to revive him. I did everything I could to take care of him and now that I look back on it, I did a pretty good job.
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To be continued…