Dear Journal, 4/21/03 12:08 PM1
She became my breath, my soul, and my mind. She stayed in my head for all hours of the day and no matter what I did, she was always gaping quietly from some dusty corner. I don't understand the attraction as much as I should. It just began one second, one minute, one hour, in which I wasn't examining everything that well. Obviously. Maybe then I would have turned the idea down as completely ILLOGICAL, but I didn't. 2
Yours Truly,3
Raymond Allinya. 4
~~~~~5
I remember the dog pounds peculiar stench, how I had wondered about the laws opinion on this filthy imprisonment. Why couldn't they just scoop up the waste lying around? And the water looked as if those creatures had just pissed in it. I shivered and turned to the supervisor. 6
She was attractive, in the showy way that makes you think the word: sexy. Her tight jeans revealed the line of her panties, and I thought of what color they were. Transparent white? Lacy black? 7
Oh, and the consistent snapping of her gum. 8
"May I have your number?" I asked, eyebrows rising with hope. 9
She only rolled those deep brown eyes and used her painted fingernails-which were ruby red, I must say-to unclump her mascara. "I have a boyfriend. Which dog do you wanna buy? I don't got all day, kiddo." 10
I paced the floor, staring intently at each animal. Some were lying peacefully on the cement floor while others nudged at the chained fence between us. None interested me in the least. Not the pompous poodle with her curled white hair or the infuriated pitt bull looking up at me with eyes of murder. 11
That's when I saw her. A tiny glimpse was all I needed and it was seduction. Pure lust; that gaping mouth and slobbering tongue, clean gray fur, muscled legs. 12
"That one!" I insisted, pointing to my discovery. A smile tainted my plump lips: I could feel our connection and to confirm that my new pet barked. 13
~~~~~~~14
It wasn't love at first, no, because no matter how hard you try it never is. She shit all over the carpet more than once and urinated where she pleased-even on me at one point. It took me some teeth-grinding moments to hold myself back from smacking that confused face. Except I intended to make her a friend, not an enemy. 15
The name Storm came to me by the pattern of her fur, it reminded me of all the colors in hurricanes and tsunamis. Brilliant blues, but in a murky sense of dread and pain. 16
I stroked that beauty while she was ill and kissed it when she was a good girl. No, back then it wasn't crazy. I was still a normal Raymond, working at the Dell and chopping meat for rich folks with nothing better to do than harp about perfection. I got lonely, so don't look at me like that. Everyone needs somebody. 17
~~~~~~18
We both lay on my carpet, panting wildly and gulping back air. Storm was staring at me and I could feel the gaze burning holes into my naked flesh-like cigerattes being snubbed out on my body. 19
"Stop that," I hissed, turning to face my dogs fiery attention. "If you have something to say I don't understand it." 20
Storm didn't bleed this time, but I knew she was sore. Maybe one day all her pain will subside and it can be complete pleasure. Maybe, maybe, maybe. 21
"It's sad our relationship isn't legal and we can't get married, isn't it?" She whined in reply and licked my cheek almost passionately, but I could sense her exhaustion through the slowness. I giggled like a highschool girl and curled in between her paws. "They think it's wrong for mammals to love mammals. That's what's wrong." 22
We seemed to lay there forever, tangled with only the smell of sweat as it mixed with the salty taste of tears.23
Storm knew her lover was crying, she could feel the sobs being radiated from each fragile limb. The embrace became a shiver, the kiss became a roll of whimpers. Storm had no voice to soothe this man, not a word, not a whisper. Nothing but the weak gestures and that's where their bond was broken. A simple snap in the strongest of metals. 24
"I do love you, Storm. Damn it, God forgive me, it's so hard not to." 25
She nuzzled my throat with a wet snout, and I quieted gradually until silence rang. 26
"We will all evolve to realize we ourselves are animals. Giraffes, horses, bears: they are meant to be loved as well. At least I don't deny it. I love you, and it's the best romance I've ever had."27
Not to mention the only one. 28
~~~~~29
Dear Journal, 12/3/2017 1:31 PM30
Storm has breathed her last precious breath in my arms. I am an old man now, complete with the wrinkled skin sagging on my bones. I miss her terribly now that the love has been disconnected-like a telephone torn from it's place, cords and all. 31
I buried her out back and ordered a headstone. There was a private ceremony in which I spread my juices over the grass of her grave and willed it to preserve our memories and desire. 32
For now no other dog shall replace her. My only love, my true love: Storm. 33
Yours Truly,34
Raymond.
Author notes
Now, you wanted twisted and I thought about this for a while: what is back in the cobwebs of my mind? What do I think is REALLY twisted with romance? And this came to the light almost demanding to be written. Now, I do not recommend nor promote doing this, lol, the opinions are totally fictional. What do you all think?
Oh, and fruit: Um, pineapple is alright. I just don't like that mushy stuff they have at school. *Gags*
For beerstorecowboys contest, I would like constructive criticism. Don't hold back, I want to improve.
A contest entry
- Love in it's strangest. by Taboo Pixie.
295 points, ended February 24, 2008, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Mind play by Thedamned77.
375 points, ended March 21, 2008, 20 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - I want to read! by damnxrightxitsxanna.
600 points, ended May 6, 2008, 26 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - THUNDERDOME by beerstorecowboy.
100 points, ended January 18, 23 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think. It says please!
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Hahahaha
Well, I wasn't expecting that! That's pretty righteously fucked up, dude. I give it an A+ for content and shock value.
So here's a little constructive criticism for ya:
The writing seems to meander a bit; not the story, just the way things are worded. Sometimes it's straight-forward and sometimes it's confusing. Your voice is very unique and maybe I just need to read more of your work to get a better feel for it. If refined, the style would be pretty damn cool.
I don't like the use of the word "crazy." I've always found it to be over-used and played-out. I don't think this character should even have an internal conflict about the situation. He LOVES that dog. Just ditch all the "crazy" business and you'll be good to go. Besides, when I read that first line out of context, I thought this was going to be a Batman fanfic about the Joker. I'm really glad it wasn't.
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Very well written, made all the more impressive by your ability to detach yourself from the subject. I myself find it incredibly hard to write with compassion on subjects that are foreign or distasteful to me. You have inspired me to try though…
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It was disturbing, but what was even more disturbing to me was that I could sympathize with the guy. You wrote it so well that I could see his reasoning, and that thought was even more disturbing then your story itself. It was too good... Waay too good for the innocent me... Poor dog... and poor man...
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EW. That's...ew. Very well written and an interesting thought. The thought of doing it with an animal...it's disgusting, but strangely thought-provoking. Definitely what I asked for. You did make me think...I'm just not sure I really wanted to think about it. Lol. Thanks for entering.
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BIZZARE AT ITS BEST. it was warped and gross and strange and insane AND I LOVED IT. i swear, steph, this is amazing. i love twisted stuff like this. we can all learn a thing or two from you! i love this sooooooo much. weird writing is the best.
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That was definitely twisted, lol. Insane. Crazy. Anything like that. A fun read though ^-^
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This was warped and gross and strange and I LOVED IT
EXELLENTO WORK.. I would not mind more of this
blair
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Mental scaring and a sudden fear for your sanity put aside, this was a very well written story. I am glad you had the guts to do it because it turned out well - you definately conveyed the 'twisted' idea rather well...
A couple of things to be addressed:
Paragraph 6: 'wonderedt' should be wondered and 'law's' should be law.
Paragraph 32: 'outback' should be out back.
Keep writing! -
bwahahahahaha! how incredibly, poignantly, fucked. i especially love the sad and a tad bit funny ending, in which his beloved dog's grave is christened. wow, what an impressive story.
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Twisted, but brilliant. That's all I can say about it. Wordless.
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wow ok that was very strange but very well written. dude, you need a girlfriend bad lol Good Job!
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WHOA!!!!
Man this was twisted and sick.A weird kind of a romance at that.I will never think the same way when I see a dog. -
OMG
Yeah, you totally freaked some people out with this one. Some people probably tried to turn it and freak out but it was just too good to keep your eyes off it. Disturbing, but beautifully written. Lol! Good job.
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Oh wow this is fantastic.
Bizarre, but fantastic.
Heh and I just ate, so I'm trying not to think about the details here >.>
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Wow. The innocent facade I know has been shattered by this one. Great job. The whole thing just made me cringe and say, "OMG." But still, great job. good luck!
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Wonderful imagery if not entirely understood. Will think on it and get back to you
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*is disturbed* What really amazes me is the fact that, despite your disclaimer at the end that you don't condone these actions, you totally SOLD the story! The language absolutely PROVED it. *shakes head in disturbed amazement* "They think it's wrong for mammals to love mammals. That's what's wrong." *is still in shock* Honestly, if you don't shock your way to a gold with this one, something is SERIOUSLY wrong with the world...*laughs* Great job with...disturbing us so perfectly! *laughs*
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*eyes wide--mouth hanging open* Uhhhhh...
I don't know whether to puke or laugh. Did you have to such a great bleeping job writing this? I can't get that image out of my mind--"She didn't bleed this time, but I knew she was sore..." Oh, Jesus.
You really did a great job on the write, and I understand that it was for a contest, but WOW, I'm not going to get any sleep tonight...
I think you scarred me, LL.
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Hehe... Oh gosh. It's twisted that's for sure. You gave me exactly what I wanted. I actually had a feeling that one of my contestants would write about something like this. I guess you were the lucky one. I like how it's so sick yet nicely written. And it is original! great job! and it's not a prewrite THANK GOODNESS you can be sure that will not go un-noticed. Great job and good luck!
-Heart-
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