Tears mingle as I taste my blood. The sticky blade falls to the ground as a gasp escapes me. Rushing to the ground, my blood runs from me. I cry out for him, but he's already left me. Lying next to me is his broken shell. I gaze at his lifeless body, following in his footsteps.
A contest entry
- Under 50, Easy Peasy by OkapiShomapi.
275 points, ended February 28, 2008, 13 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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Aww...Even though it is short, it is very depressing, and very powerful. Keep up the great work!
~Jade~
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Wow, this is very powerful. It's awesome how you combined love and pain in just 45 words... beautiful.
One comment: "Tears mingle as I taste his blood"
What are the tears mingling with? I think you meant for them to be mixing with the blood, but that sentence is vague.
It's awesome, though.
Thanks for the entry!
annye
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