Twisted Reality

The noises in her head wouldn’t leave her be. Everything was falling apart in front of her eyes. Nothing was going right. The voices continued to get louder and louder in her mind. They were yelling and screaming, making themselves known. Making sure she didn’t miss the sounds they were making.1

It was sending her crazy, the voices. They were pushing her over the edge into that dark abyss that no one ever truly came out of. Over and over they were telling her that she was useless, that she couldn’t do anything, and that her life was worthless.2

They screamed in her head, forcing her to cover her ears and rock back and forth humming, humming so loud to drown out the noise. She scratched at herself, scratched at the parts of her skin that were uncovered. Reopening old wounds and making new ones at the same time.3

When she felt the first trickle of blood that her nails had caused, the voices quieted. They didn’t make as much noise; they weren’t as loud as before. Her breathing slowly settled down to an almost even pace as she calmly got up and walked to the cupboard, pulling from it some antiseptic cream.4

Slowly and surely she spread the cream over the newest nail marks, watching the white cream turn to a soft pink. It was always amazing how she went through these periods. Going from fine, to not so fine and then back to fine. The voices were never there all the time, but when they were they got so loud they over rode everything, all her common sense.5

She didn’t know what was real and what was fake anymore. She didn’t know what her reality was. What is reality? Is it our day to day activities that make things real? Or is it the way we interpret these activities? No one knew. No one she asked knew.6

So how could she know what her reality was?7

She heard a knock on the door and walked towards that piece of wood. It symbolised nothing important. Nothing to do with any of her life. She never had shut any doors in her mind, maybe that’s why it had effected her.8

Her fingers curled around the handle as she opened the door to see her worst fear. There he was; standing there was the man that had caused the voices in her head. She stumbled back, running into the coffee table as she went. Everything in her body was screaming at her to run, to run from this monster. 9

He was real and here. She could feel his rotting breath on her cheek; she could feel his hands resting against her shoulders. He’d never sexually touched her, but the things he had done to her would stay with her forever.10

What he had forced her to do sent her mind over the edge. He was not a nice man and never had been. She didn’t think he ever would be. 11

She landed with a hard thud on the ground, looking up at him with wide, startled eyes. Everything was pounding; her head, her heart, her ears. She thought her lungs were going to explode; she couldn’t draw in a full breath. It just wouldn’t expand her lungs, and looking up at him wasn’t helping.12

“It’s okay, I won’t hurt you.” He whispered softly, coming towards her in those slow, sure steps. His eyes held something, or didn’t hold anything. They were dead, truly dead. She had never seen one little bit of emotion run through his eyes.13

That is what eventually had sent her crazy. She couldn’t believe she had once loved this man with every fibre of her being, with every part of her soul. His eyes should have affected her earlier, should have warned her of what was to come.14

The voices in her head got louder and louder. They were screaming at her again, everything was scared and the voices wanted to be heard. She couldn’t stand it any longer. Couldn’t stand the noise in her head.15

Quickly she got to her feet and ran, but he was quicker. He grabbed her forcefully and pulled her closer to his body, looking deep into her eyes with his cold dark ones. She was trembling like a leaf.16

“Calm down, calm down.” He whispered to her, she was crazy and he could see the nail marks all over her skin. Whatever that monster had done to her, she could still see it happening to her even now.17

She didn’t know that it was her brother holding her still, she thought it was him. What twisted reality did she live in? What was inside her mind that caused this?

Author notes

Chose the Linkin Park song in this contest. Hope you enjoy.

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • IrishYndina Greeters member
    June 4, 2008

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    A powerfully psychological piece. I'm always impressed with people who can get into the mindset of a slightly twisted mind because, honestly, I'm too crazy to know the difference. You did a great job of showing her confusion and fear, and of alluding to what caused her mental trauma. I think the ending could have had a slight bit more of a kick to it, but it was definitely good nonetheless. Good luck in the contest - this is sure to be a strong contender!


  • SympatheticMisery
    April 18, 2008

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    This was a beautiful story. It was so descriptive, and really depressing. I loved it, and loved how you showed her emotions to her brother.


  • LostSoulOfRage
    March 29, 2008

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    thnx for entering the contest!
    WOW! this was amazing! i loved it. i loved how you pertrayed her thoughts. this story really is amazing! great job and good luck! keep it up!

    -LostSoul

  • Thedamned77
    March 10, 2008

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    Wow. Definitely thought-provoking. This was actually hard for me to read, because for months I was almost like this because of an ex boyfriend. I wasn't quite as bad as what you described, but I could really feel her pain. It was marvelous. It was deeply emotional and I can definitely see how a stupid guy could turn a girl like this. You portrayed it beautifully. Thank you for entering my contest.


  • EphemeralStyle
    February 22, 2008

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    Paragraph 5, 'over rode'. This word comes from 'override', so if you put it in past tense it should be 'overrode'. At least I'm pretty sure, anyways lol

    You write a lot of psychological stuff. 'She didn’t know what was real and what was fake anymore. She didn’t know what her reality was. What is reality?'

    This is kind of unrelated, but that reminded me of a funny thought I had the other day. You know the quote, 'I think, therefore I am'. Well trees are alive but they don't have consious thought, and everything else that isn't alive also exists. But according to that quote, they don't exist because they don't have thought I also thought that, whenever I have a mental blank and stop thinking for a second, I temporarily don't exist ^^ I do get that the quote didn't really mean it like that, but I sure thought it was funny

    ANyways...... Now that I've written you an essay about something completely unimportant, back to the story: WOAH.

    Creeeepy.... and very frightening. You really got the emotion across well, not that I expected any less of course. Really chilling stuff here. Hope you win the contest <3

    Eph


  • Kat222
    February 18, 2008

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    This was good. very tragic that one person could drive you insane. I think maybe you could expand it just a little. The ending was a little confusing but i really thought that i was a good story


  • GrimDeath
    February 17, 2008
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    I liked it alot it show real emotion. Good Luck and thank you for entering

  • abba12
    February 10, 2008

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    I've taken a personal interpritation of this peice, because I... have a similar problem.I remember one time, I've begun screaming and begging to be let go, by someone who really does care about me, because I was utterly convinced he was going to hurt me, rape me. I think I scared the poor guy He had no idea how to react the first time... I just freaked, became paranoid, trembling...

    I like that you used her nails instead of the steryotypical, and these days 'cool', razors. It gave it the feel of being real, painful, a problem, rather than the usual emo cutters tears that make most people stop reading automatically. Don't get me wrong, some people with real issues use blades, but in a story, its become a sign of fake depression.

    This is an amazing peice, a look into the eyes of someone with a past and an unsure reality, something so many people cant understand. Thank you for bringing this out and helping people to understand in some way... I know it explains it far better than I've ever been able to, and I actually sent a link to this to the friend that I paniced with.


    • HoneyAngel
      February 10, 2008
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      Well ever since I had to live with my Mum, (She's Schizophrenic(Sp?) I've had a real understanding of what people go through, and when I saw those lyrics I thought it would make a good piece... I wrote it in about half an hour.


  • Amicus2K9 silver member
    February 10, 2008

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    Startling! An Insight....

    Thank you. For the first time I get a glimpse of the working of a mind behind the self inflicted physical wounds and why...very well done!

    A small twist at the end, I think, suggests a deeper problem, a more serious affliction, but then again, perhaps that is the purpose.

    Excellent craftsmanship, suspensfully written and presented. Well done!


    • HoneyAngel
      February 10, 2008
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      Often people don't get that sometimes there is more behind self inflicted wounds. Just thought I'd convey it. Considering my mother is mentally ill and I know the hardships she went through.

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