The Last Drop

Drip.1

Drip.2

Every few seconds, a shimmering drop of water fell into the bathroom sink. It was enough to drive any human crazy.3

Drip.4

Unfortunately, there weren't any humans within hearing distance of the falling drops of water. 5

Drip.6

The water splattered on silvered shards of glass that had fallen from the medicine cabinet which, miraculously, had clung to its wall when the remaining walls and ceiling had been blasted away.7

Drip.8

Even if there had been someone to listen to the maddening sound, the rusted knobs of the faucet probably wouldn't turn any more.9

Drip.10

The last drop fell, then slid down the slanted face of a mirror fragment like a forgotten tear. 11

...12

There wasn't any more water left. Only silence.

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • Rune Morose
    February 10

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    Lots of potential. If you went into more detail of the setting (after all, that's all you really have without characters, right?), then you could show the reader what might have occurred here simply through the power of suggestion. Show us an inkling of the reason this place got blown to smithereens, like a briefcase with half a handcuff still on it, or the burning remains of a goodbye letter, or even a wedding ring.

    Something that will definitely strengthen what you already have would be to remove even the hinting at humans. Mentioning people momentarily detracts from the lonely atmosphere you've created so effectively; the best way to let us know that there are no people might be to simply not mention people!

    Like I said, there's a lot of potential, and you've a fair amount of room to play around with, even given this contest's low word limit. Good luck!


  • Andy Stephenson Greeters member
    February 10

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    Very Good!

    I believe you've supplied what the contest asked for in a neat little package. This story gives the impression that there has been somekind of catastrophe, like an explosion or something. Anyway, I think it is excellent.

    How are you today? I'm doing pretty well, but I've been mindlessly playing party poker.

    Andy


    • HeatherRoseBrown
      February 10

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you! I've been having a bit of insomnia tonight ... *checking clock* ... make that this morning, but besides that I've been doing okay