The words I choke on, remind me of how you always end up hurting me.
Remind me, that if I cut deep enough I’ll fade away into the darkness and how you’ll forget me, but I’ll come back just to haunt you. The words I choke on remind me of you.
And you can hate me in more ways than one. You can hate me for all the things I’ve done to you. For all the things I haven’t done. But when ever I see your face or hear your one syllable name I will be the first one to get that warm feeling inside of me. I will be the only one who smiles the hardest. 1
I’m so glad I “bumped” into you at Pac Sun. I’m so glad I knocked you down, and then helped you up. I’m so glad your friend cursed me out for more than ten seconds. I’m so glad you wore a shirt that said “Gay Pride.”
I’m the luckiest boy in the world, only because I met you.2
It’s so cliché to say, that I love you Sane, I love you so much it hurts. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this work. It’s so cliché to tell you that you’re my world. You’re the reason I wake up with a smile. You send chills down my spine. It’s so cliché to say that when I’m with you nothing else matters, not even those people flicking us off. It’s very cliché to say that when I’m with you I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my whole entire life. But…you don’t feel the same way; I can see it in your eyes. I can see how you force yourself to say my three favorite words. 3
Maybe it’s time I did something for myself. Literally. It’s time I beat you to the gun. Literally. And I’m not going stop and think twice. You know what I’m talking about. You know you’ve done nothing but use me. It’s clear you don’t have the passion. But, unlike you, I have shit-loads of passion, passion for my brother’s tender, sweet, silver gun, Sam. Unlike you, Sam cares about me. Sam has called my name more than once, but I refused temptation. I refused self-pleasure only because of you. What a waste. I should have pulled that trigger 24 months ago. 4
I regret bumping into you at Pac Sun. I regret knocking you down and then helping you back up. I regret seeing that black shirt. 5
No. What am I saying? I don’t regret it. I don’t regret anything. I don’t regret meeting you. I never will regret it. You saved me. Many times. You saved me. Literally. I’m in love with you Sane. I always will be. That’s so cliché. But it’s true. 6
Forgive me for what I’ve said. For what I’ve done. For what I’m about to say. For what I’m about to do.7
I love you Sane, and please don’t hesitate to cry.
Author notes
I have read zeh rules
- GSA Gay Straight Alliance group list • next in list
A contest entry
- First contest. by Xtclozer-.
800 points, ended February 18, 2008, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Hit Me With Something Gooey! by IxLovexElphiex.
350 points, ended March 22, 2008, 23 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
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Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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ohh! the inner push and pull he's having with himself makes it very intense! good job!
thanks for entering my contest and good luck! -
That first paragraph gave me the chills... This was a good way to establish how this guy feels and why he loves him. I am trying to read more of the Gay, bi, and lesbian stories and give positive comments even though i do not support gays lesbians or Bis... but since i found that my best friend was bi i broadened my tunnel vision to other aspects other than straight ( I dont want to read incest though ) Your imagery was clear and crisp as if it were a painting as it was being finished... If you havent noticed i am a philosipher and look at the silver lining of everything.
Christa
drop me a line if you want to be my friend -
lol sweet shirt. not as cool as Ronnie's tho. XD
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ok. i was a little confused on what the guy was going to do do. but the story/letter had a lot of passion in it. i think we've all been there before. good job.
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Wow! This was really deep and just simply amazing. It's so emotional. Good luck in the contest you have it in!
Joann
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Wow. All I can say about this.. is that... I odnt even know
It was great! simple as that. very interesting and well thought out.
Thanks for entering
Good luck
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So much well-penned anguish for such a young age!
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........ speechless
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wow...
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