I stood looking out over Los Angeles watching the sun trying to set through the smog. This city must have been beautiful once, but not anymore. Now it was hot, and dirty. I’ve lost my job, my boyfriend, and wrecked my BMW all in one afternoon. Watching the day draw to a close on the top of this building, I shove my hands in my pockets and ask my self for the hundredth time why the hell I ever moved here. City of Angels my ass!1
Beautiful, isn’t it?” 2
Startled, I turn around. I see a man standing behind me smiling. He’s wearing a tie dyed t-shirt and blue bell bottom jeans. A large peace sign hangs around his neck. I take in his clothes and unkempt hair and sigh inwardly. Great. A homeless flower child. “Look, I don’t have any money so…”3
“I don’t want your money,” he said. “Like you, I’m here to check out the view.”4
The man walks towards me, and looks out over the edge. “Beautiful isn’t it?” he says again.5
“If you say so.” 6
He looks at me with flashing brown eyes. “Do you have a name, friend?” 7
“I’m Daniel,” I say reluctantly. The last thing I want is to have a conversation with a homeless guy who obviously never quit smoking pot. 8
“I knew a Daniel once.” That’s it. That’s all he says. I look at him strangely but he is staring at the city below and doesn’t see it. “Look,” I say at last, “I don’t want to be rude but, if you don’t mind, I’d really like to be alone.”9
The man pulls his gaze from the city and stares at me intently. “You are alone. That’s why you’re here isn’t it? You feel alone?”10
My annoyance increases ten fold. “What are you, a shrink?”11
“Not exactly.” 12
The man continues to stare at the city. The sun has dropped below the line of smog and the city is bathed in a temporary red glow. Time for another tactic. “You know, there’s a reason that style went out in the seventies,” I say with an air of contempt.13
“I’m trying to bring it back, but no one listens to me anymore.” He says this with such profound sadness that I nearly burst into tears. I haven’t cried since I was ten. The day my dad left. 14
The man moves closer to the edge. Looking down he exclaims, “Wow! I can see one of my houses from here.” 15
I join him at the building’s edge. The largest structure down there was a run down church building. Even at this distance I can see the condemned sign. “Did you say one of your houses? You must be an actor.” Maybe he was dressed that way to research a movie role.16
He smiles at me again. “More like a director. But like I said, no one listens anymore.” 17
“The movie’s not going well I take it?”18
“No. But there’s always hope.” The man sits on the edge and beckons me to join him.19
“So why are you here on top of the world?” he asks as I join him. I wasn’t in the mood to discuss my problems with a total stranger, but there was something different about this man. Before I knew it I was telling him about Dean, my job, everything.20
“So you’re gay.” He said I as I finished. 21
“Yes,” I reply warily.22
“Have you ever read the bible?” 23
“Yes.” Here we go, I thought. I brace myself for what I knew was the impending diatribe. 24
“Don’t believe everything you read.” 25
I’m starting to like this guy. We sit in silence for a while, watching the lights of the city come alive as the sun continues its downward journey. “So what about you,” I ask quietly when I can no longer stand the silence. “Do you have any one special?”26
“There are many,” he replies. “But I really like John and Mary.” 27
‘Tell me about them.”28
“John is the one I love, but Mary is a great woman. She has issues, but then again so do we all.”29
“What happened to them?” 30
“Oh, they’re around here somewhere,” he replies, smiling again. “They like to hang with the people as I do.”31
“Which people?” 32
“My people.” 33
I let it go. The sun had finally disappeared over the Pacific Ocean in the distance. It was time to leave. I stood up. “Well, it’s been real, but I’ve got some packing to do.” 34
“Do you still want to jump?” he asks, looking up at me.35
“I never said I wanted to jump,” I said, becoming annoyed again.36
“No, but you were thinking about it.” 37
He was right, of course. At some level I had been thinking about taking a dive. I look out over the city again. The smog had disappeared with the sun, the heat of the day slowly dissipating. I know it will all be back tomorrow. But, for now, the city shines brightly. “Maybe not” 38
I start to walk away but turn back. “I never caught your name.”39
The man looks at me with his warm, kind smile. “My friends call me Chris.”40
“Huh. I knew a Chris once. He left.”41
“He never left you, Daniel. And he never will.” And just like that he is gone.42
Author notes
my fav color is blue
A contest entry
- Surprise Me! by Twilight-Lover.
300 points, ended May 28, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - The Favorite of The Favorites! by Naive..
567 points, ended June 27, 24 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Spark my interest by Serier Amanlabin.
126 points, ended June 11, 37 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Short stories by Thorn-on-the-Rose.
175 points, ended August 30, 46 entries
Honorable winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Short stories 2 by Thorn-on-the-Rose.
275 points, ended September 17, 42 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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err, this is a really good story and all, but not only did i comment it in my last contest, i gave it a prize, so thanks for entering again, but I can't give you another prize, it would be breaking my own rules.
-Sorry, Dani -
Beautiful writing piece. I'm making a contest soon, hope you enter
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He was gone T_T
This is what I would call an inspirational piece of writing-
You capture from the beginning, so many emotions. A matter of life and death & Then the ending..so beautiful-
I'm speechless - This contest seems to be bringing out a lot of beautiful stories- Flash fiction.
I want to thank you for writing this.
Because it made me think some things twice !!!
Never judge a book my its picture for one - and life must go on <3
Wonderous
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Wow, this is just.....amazing. That's all I can say, this is such a beautiful peice. I absolutly love it. Great job. There was one small mistake in paragraph 2, you wrote 'Beautiful, isn’t it?”' you forgot the quote (") before 'Beautiful'.
Otherwise, it was amazing, a truely breath taking story. Great job, and good luck in the contests, including mine =DD
-Danie -
Wow, it's beautiful and deep for such a short piece of writing it has a huge impact. Brilliant. It's wonderful.
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I read this one before. Very good story with good detail and voice. Enjoyed it. Thanks for entering!
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nice
This was good but sadly I can only pick three finalists, so sorry. -
Damn. This was amazing. It was so unique and incredibly intriguing. I love how Chris seems so mysterious and knows what Daniel is thinking. And the ending wasn't quite what I expected, but I loved it anyway. And I also adored the questions Chris asked.
Really great job.
Thanks for entering my contest, and good luck!
-jj
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Oh my god! THAT'S AMAZING!
I really, really loved this!
I got drawn into it in the first line!
I wasn't expecting the ending at all!
This is absolutely amazing!
You need to do a part two.
xoxo julia
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Brilliant!
your story ws so dramatic and interesting. It really drew me in. You can expect to hear back from me, maybe as a finalist. Well Done. Especially because I love Los Angeles! :
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this was really good
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can i comment again?
i know i just commented and all, but now that you explained everything i can't help but laugh at the part when he talks about Mary and says 'She has issues, but then again so do we all.'
tsk tsk, i really like this story
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Well writtern, Interesting...
Nice work. Almost a variation on a theme of the beast within, in a twisted sort of way.
Curious mind you have there.
Amicus...
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I like how Chris seems to be able to read Daniel's mind the best.
Also liking how it leaves with thought.
Aden Recreated
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Oh my gosh, that was so interesting. I loved it so much! This is straight out, and to the point. I loved how you fit so much detail in, and still made it a whole meaning and lesson and story, and in such a short story. I am very impressed.
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APPLAUSE!
I really liked this story. Especially the ending.
Good job!
Anaya Roma
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Wow this is an excellent story! I loved it a lot. You are a very good writer, and you should really keep on writing. This is beautifully written! Job well done!
Keep up the good work,
-Brian.
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It's such a good story. It pulls you in form the beginning and makes you want to keep reading. I like the dialogue and the message although I'm a bit confused, here's what I understand: Chris is Jesus and he was talking about John and Mary fromthe Bible. Is that right? Anyway, brilliant story! Well done!
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Interesting story, I like it quite a lot actually! Great job and continue the great work! -Liz
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