She crouched hidden in the green foliage, muscles taut as she nocked an arrow back to her ear. Taking aim she whispered a prayer to the wind to take care of the soul she was about to slaughter. She released the arrow and watched it speed to the deer's death.
A contest entry
- Under 50, Easy Peasy by OkapiShomapi.
275 points, ended February 28, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I liked this. The background made it perfect! And the avatar as well. Very good! And under 50 words? This is very impressive, Kylia.
Very good. -
i liked the prayer part it really helps her in the killing. awsome!!!
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Again....
PUNCTUATION!!! Read it as it is, see what I mean! -
The background picture makes the setting and story more real like. It is as if being there in person and watching instead of readind.
The only thing I didn't like was the constant use of the word "She"
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heh...I did use "she" a lot.
I was trying to avoid giving a name or extra details.
I'm glad you like the story and background. i'll do my best to figure out how to reword it to get rid of the redundancy.
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I loved this Kylia! Congrats on the gold here. Very well done 
I love the background as well.
I saw it happening and saw the deer fall over when I read it.
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glad you liked it.
*hugs*
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WoW.. so short.. but it really describes much.. i mean i get the picture of it in my head.. amazing that you can describe it that good with so few words..definatly a worthy gold winner ^^
Good job!
keep up the good work
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Oooo this is good. It made me wonder like who was she going to kill then bam right at the end it tells us with nothing else. Keep up the great work.
~Blazing Mike~
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thanks.
I'm glad you liked it.
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Nice. I could almost smell the fresh spring rain in the roots of the trees. Hrm. We need to collaborate on something sometime. I think a fantasy based story would be a good thing to write with you
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that sounds like it could be fun.
i won a silver for this once upon a time at allpoetry...in a contest very similar to this one.
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Wow. Wow wow wow. Perfect imagery, wonderful word choice.
One thing: is 'nocked' the right word? I really don't know anything about archery, but I thought the word was 'notched' or....something. I don't know
Thanks for a beautiful read. Good luck!
annye
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hmm...don't think os.
*checks*
well, I found this so I'm sticking with "nocked"
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/nocked
I'm glad you liked the story.
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