Eternal Frustration

I could feel it coming and it was inevitable. My mind was running wild with thoughts...even how to avoid thinking of it. I couldn't stand it and yet, I knew it all too well.1

Reaching inside the my purse, I looked for something to do with my hands. It was the second thing that gave me away, my hands shaking. I finally found, it, my wallet. Even though my hands were completely occupied with my cellphone, the DVD, my car keys and now my wallet, I still couldn't seem to calm down. I was next in line and just hoping the other guy would be done with his customer first. I sighed and cringed as I saw the guy I was probably going to be helped by. This fear had me completely under its power and I hated it. I couldn't stop thinking either! Why couldn't I just, for one moment, have a blank mind! It was excruciatingly painful! It made me feel like an in defenseless child, lost, scared.2

I swayed from one side to another, probably annoying the person behind me, but I didn't care. I just wanted to get out of here. Why did I even think to come rent a movie, today, of all days? I was becoming more irritated by the lady at the counter. She just wouldn't hurry up. Who doesn't have a video renting membership here? Geez! She was so slow in giving her information too. I bit my lip trying to concentrate on the pain instead of the blood rushing to my face, up my cheeks and down my neck. I am a chronic blusher and there's nothing I can do about it...well there is, but it involves surgery and that's something I definitely fear. 3

It happens every time I see a cute guy, I'm the center of attention, or if I even talked to one of my teachers. Now, it was my turn to pay in line. I could already feel my face completely burning up. He greeted me, and I thought I saw him smile. God! That just made things worse! I couldn't even look him in the eyes more than a second. But it was enough to notice they were a soft blue color. This wasn't helping either. Poor guy, it wasn't his fault he had such beautiful eyes... He probably though I was such a dork! Ugh! My mind wouldn't stop! I wished he would just hurry up and just tell me how much I owed. I stood there pretending to look for something in my purse, which was difficult since I had so much junk in my hands. I was angry with myself for letting this get the best of me. 4

Finally! It was over! I grabbed my movie the fastest I could, ignoring whatever it was the guy said to me. Of course this would happen to me, I couldn't even open the door right! More embarrassed than ever, I pushed the other end of the handle bar and finally I was out. I rushed to my car and turned on my music, thinking of how stupid I feel every time it happens... at least it was over...for this time anyway...