Addiction In Broken Communication

Climbing a spiral staircase with eloquent stained glass surrounding me. As I walk by trying to recognize what these masterpeices meant. Then I realize that it is of humanity's perils. I began to ponder and wonder on each of the murals. Unattentivly the stairway ended and i began to plumit upwards. Till I reached the ceiling. As I reached it. The force carriing me. Dropped me releasing me to fall endlessly downwards. The lights spin and flash. Faster! Faster! Faster! Demonic hands grapple me and pull me threw the floor.1

All was quiet all is peaceful. The walls are covered in premitive paintings of the future. UFO's and God are the main themes of these ugly paintings. I caught myself for a moment wondering where's the war. Where's satan? The room glew red. I smile for a second and whisper this has happened before. Oh yes, This has happened so many times before but only in my dreams. Never in reality. But no...No this is not the same the scenery hasn't changed just the flames grew higher out of the moist soil below my feet.2

Looking around I slowly approach the hole in the ground. Just to see what or where is this flame arising from. Everythings dark again in the room. Just the dim light like there was before. I start to franticly search for a way out of this room. The ceiling is a mosaic of a pathway in a valley. I wondered for a minute where it lead to. Far away from stardust and glisening colors my mind wonders why it has these random thoughts.3

Gregory and The Hawk begins play in the distance. I wonder if its a sign that I'm not searching for home. I'm searching for somewhere to fly away from home. But what is home? I've never had such a place in which you call "home". Isn't it supposed to be warming and comforting or is it supposed to feel the same as this dark pit with a mosaic on the ceiling.4

What is this. A magnificient window it was beautiful and majestic in size. I shyly approach it. I have fallen for these kinds of traps many times before. Is it really there or is it there to crush my hope of escaping yet another nightmare of my minds equations of fluxations. But this one has meaning some where it. I wonder if its of home. I shake out of it for a second to peer threw the peerless pain of this window. I see the galaxies all in there viberent colors. I stand in amazement. Pressing hard against the glass. As if thought the glass would hold me. I fall threw it and begin flying threw space. And I find myself in aw. What is this? I'm so happy. I'm still lonely.5

I begin to shake without my own doing. I hear voices screaming wake up! Are you ok? Wake up? I hear crying in the background my eyes open for a second. Only a breif moment. I see love and friendship and a needle still in my hand. Ad a opium joint laying in the ash tray still lit. My eyes close again. Darkness. Subtle darkness. I'm back in this dreamlike state. Alone dark and cold. This isn't home. Home is not watch I'm searching for. I'm searching for myself the self I used to know.6

Addictions grasp has left me to die in this nightmare. Let me out! Let me out! Can anyone hear me I want out! I begin to cry for a moment and wonder why. Why I chose this? Why do people love me? I'm worthless drowning in self-pity. Hah, how weak is that. Self-pity? As I stowaway in the valley upon the ceiling. I stare at the little man painted there next to the house. I must of been there for an hour or two before the man moved. He spoke to me in a caring raspy tone. "Is that it? Are you just gonna give up like that? In a corner drowning in cold tears?" I stared in confusion. "You look frightened don't be scared now. Your young you have time to figure it out." I replied. "No you see. I have no time left. I'm here. I died."I pause stareing at the man's confused look. "Aren't I?" He replied glefully"Your not dead yet. If you were dead you'd be in Heaven or Hell. Wouldn't you think?" I sit quiet with listening eyes. "You are here to find what you did wrong." I snapped in a reply to that statement. "I know what is wrong the drugs. It was the drugs." He laughed "No, no, no, no its your lifestyle your a lover not a fighter and..." A doorway opened interupting the man. I begin to run I hear in the distance "You'll find a way home!!!"7

I begin to wonder how I got here. There's a reason why I am not dead. I will live. I'm not ready to die. I find the end of the path again or would it be the begining. I begin to claw at the ceiling and the tiles of the mosaic begin to fall. I reach the dirt. I begin to dig faster. Higher, Higher. I see a bright light. The doctor begins to speak un-clearly. I hear the words I love you. And I knew I was home. By glancing into her bright eyes.