Hades Hates Hangouts

Hades was getting bored. 'Nobody comes down here anymore,' he sighed, drinking his Hatredade, 'everybody's being all goody-two-shoes and being sent to Zeus. Nobody wants to be evil anymore.'1

Hades hated this. Having nobody to torture got hazardous to his health, so he went to Zeus to see if he could help.2

When Hades arrived, he saw at once what was wrong, and it started with one word - 'Nightclub'. Hades stormed through the front door and found millions of people getting drunk and partying their halos off! Hades forced his way through the crowd to find Zeus getting lapdanced by a rather sexy model.3

'Zeus!' Hades boomed.4

'Eh, what?' Zeus turned around. He was off his face on Tequila. 'Did they stop shipping in the booze?'5

'Where's all the evil people? I need my fix!'6

'Oh, they were looking pretty down, so I brought 'em up here. Smart idea, eh?'7

'You clutz! Half of these fellas shouldn't even be here!'8

'Sure they are. Everyone's invited. Come on, have some fun!'9

'NO!' Hades's voice can clear and loud. The music stopped, and everybody turned. 'Can't you see there's just no balance? There's a fella over there with horns, for Ares's sake!'10

'Eh! Get yer own horns!'11

'Shut up!' Hades turns once again to the drunken god. 'I'm not leaving until everyone who is evil here comes with me!'12

'Don't you see? Nobody wants to leave.' Zeus explains.13

'They'll be wanting to when I'm finished with the place.'14

After that, Hades, with a devilish grin on his bony face, raised a finger and blew a hole in the roof, and, one by one, threw every single person through the hole down to hell. He turned to Zeus.15

'Not so fun now, eh?' he cackled, and jumped down to the Underworld, where millions of people were trapped, screaming, not knowing what they would be put through next.