Warriors Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Snowpaw 11

Snowpaw sat at the edge of the river with her tail swaying impatiently on the grass. 22

"hey Snowpaw are you waiting for someone?" Pantherpaw asked.33

"yes Fireflower is late she promised to teach me how to hunt at sunhigh" Snowpaw told her brother. 44

"she was on the dawn patrol wasn't she they may just be running late" Pantherpaw meowed pounding his paws on the ground nervously. As he watched a black she-cat emerging from the apprentices den and running up to an orange tom with a white muzzle and meowed something to him less than a minute passed and the tom left the apprentice alone. Growling deep in his throat pantherpaw glared jealously at the tom.55

"so that's it you like Rosepaw...Pantherpaw calm down. Redwing is her mentor right she probably just wanted to know what she was going to be doing today" Snowpaw told her brother.66

"what I don't like Rosepaw...77

Snowpaw unsheathed her claws88

"okay maybe a little99

Snowpaw glared1010

"okay fine I like her a lot happy and...Oh hi Rosepaw Pantherpaw meowed stupidly. 1111

Sheathing her claws Snowpaw meowed "hi Rosepaw."1212

"hello Snowpaw turning to Pantherpaw she meowed "oh hello Pantherpaw I was just looking for you 13

"you were looking for me" Pantherpaw asked nervously.1414

"yes I asked Redwing if we could train together today. He's going to get Thornwhisker and then meet us at the training log you coming?" not waiting for an answer she turned around and ran downstream and over a small foothill her black tail disappearing. 1515

" well I hope you have fun hunting I haven't even started learning how to hunt yet you should be excited...oh and don't worry i'm sure Fireflower will be back soon...bye Snowpaw" Pantherpaw told his sister running after Rosepaw.1616

Sunhigh came and went and still no sign of the dawn patrol. Snowpaw began to get worried she didn't even notice her mother coming up behind her. 1717

"Hello Snowpaw" IceStar meowed startled Snowpaw jumped.1818

"oh Icestar i'm so sorry" Snowpaw stammered.1919

"it's okay little on, but you've been down here since sunhigh is everything allright?"2020

"Not really" Snowpaw told her.2121

"what's wrong"2222

nervously padding her paws Snowpaw answered "Fireflower left on the dawn patrol. She told me late last night that she was going to teach me how to hunt and told me to wait right here for her, but so far no sign of her or the rest of the patrol."2323

"oh thank StarClan that’s it I thought your answer was going to be much worse." Icestar meowed breathing a sigh of relief.2424

"you know what happened to them then" Snowpaw asked.2525

"yes and i'm also glad you listened to your mentor but as RiverClan's leader i'm going to tell you this. Don't worry about the Fireflower's patrol I asked them to deliver a message to ThunderClan. They could be here late tonight or some time in the morning, why don't you come back to camp Pebbleclaw just returned from hunting and brought back enough prey to feed all four clans tonight we can feast remember we have to eat as much as we can in leaf-fall." Icestar told her daughter licking the top of her head. 2626

"no thanks I’ll wait a little longer" Snowpaw told Icestar.2727

"okay if you want to just promise me if they don’t show up you'll go back to camp. Don't look for them okay we can't have apprentices running off on their own." Icestar told her daughter heading back to camp.2828

as the day went by Snowpaw saw Pantherpaw and Rosepaw returning from training with their mentors. Rosepaw had a scratch on her flank and Pantherpaw had dried blood over his eye. Meowing a few words to Rosepaw their tails intertwined together Rosepaw left with their mentors as Pantherpaw walked over to Snowpaw.2929

"hey you still here?" he asked his sister 3030

"yeah and I saw that, what went on between you and Rosepaw?" Snowpaw asked.3131

"oh that nothing why are you still here where's Fireflower?" He asked3232

"oh Icestar came and talked to me. She said she sent the dawn patrol on a special mission to ThunderClan to deliver a message"3333

"oh that explains where they are at least i'm sorry you didn't get to go learn how to hunt today." Pantherpaw told her sounding like he meant it.3434

"oh its okay it looks like you had fun" She noticed.3535

"yeah I would not like to meet Rosepaw in battle" He exclaimed. 3636

"well you might have to Pebbleclaw just brought in a butch of fresh-kill. You may be fighting her over the juiciest prey" Snowpaw told him laughing. 3737

"great starclan thanks for telling me i'm starving bye Snowpaw. Don't wait out here all night" Pantherpaw told his sister running towards camp. Laughing Snowpaw continued her watch3838

as the sun was sinking behind highstones the wind changed. Scenting the air Snowpaw could scent fear scent her ears pricked up suddenly recognizing the scent "Fireflower" she breathed. In a blink of an eye snowpaw saw a ginger pelt burst through the bushes along with three others "the dawn patrol" she thought.3939

"I knew you'd still be here your good at keeping orders" Fireflower told her apprentice fondly.4040

"Fireflower, Ripplewing, Foxclaw, and Rockpaw what happened?" Snowpaw asked seeing that Ripplewing had a nasty wound on his flank, Rockpaw's left ear was bleeding badly, and Fireflower's hind leg was beat up and bleeding. 4141

"where's Icestar?" Ripplewing breathed leaning on Foxclaw for support. 4242

"down in the hollow, why what's wrong?" Snowpaw asked going over to Rockpaw who had collapsed and started licking his ear gently.4343

Breathing heavily Fireflower answered. "WindClan is coming...to attack our camp4444

To Be Continued........

Author notes

popsicles

Favorite movie: i'm sorry I don't really know

A contest entry

please comment

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Julia-Black
    June 23
    Edit | Reply
    WARRIORS, YAY!

    Good luck in the contest.


  • Starlight-Kisses
    February 27
    Edit | Reply
    thank you for telling me i'll try to fix the mistakes soon right now i'm to busy


  • Julia-Black
    February 23

    Edit | Reply
    I liked the story line, but like the other commenters have said, you missd a lot of grammar mistakes. I love warriors, and I hope you will continue with this story! It has potential to be something great!


  • Silverwit
    February 12

    Edit | Reply
    I am sorry but you seemed to ignore one of my rules. I had stated "Run your entry through spellcheck or micrsoft word before entering". I can tell you did not do as this rule stated because you have some many grammetical errors that they can not be counted as typos. -50

    You also had barely any details and descriptions. I had also stated "Use as much description, detail, and imaginary as possible!" and I found very little. -30

    You did have fluffy kitties in the entry so +30

    You now have 50 points. Good luck.


  • Wildstar
    February 9

    Edit | Reply

    lol

    this was really good, good story line....BUT you missed tons of periods! there are periods at the end of every line! and you need to add comments too....go back and edit this, okay? I really like this, but if you wanna get a prize, you'll have to edit. Oh and the background goes perfectly with it. Another thing is that I am really excited that you used Riverclan! NOBODY ever does! Even I always use Thunderclan! EXCELLENT choice!


  • Xtclozer-
    February 8
    Edit | Reply
    Oooh. cool back ground lol and great first chapter. I loved it.

1 - 6 of 6