"Wasn't it funny last night how Jack thought he locked his keys in the car..."1
"again," Janice finished off Ron's sentence. "He does that way too many times. Sometimes I worry about early dementia with him. They both chuckled. They didn't need to speak, as they knew they were both affectionately thinking the same thing. Their good friend Jack sure knew how to throw a wrench into a party, turning it into a charity event for himself. 2
"yeah, he had everyone gladly come running to his aid," Ron laughed out-loud.3
"Yeah, well everyone who hasn't experienced the 'Jack of all tricks' before." Janice smiled, rolled her eyes and shook her head, while pulling her hair strands off her face. 4
"You know, one day," Ron held the spatula in midair pointing it at her, "Jack is going to really lock his keys in the car and there is going to be no one left to take him seriously." 5
Janice steadily gazed at her husband as he fried the sausages for the omelet. She was still taken back by the way his character came across so genuinely in his manner. She held the same impression of him that she had when she first looked into his eyes over thirty years ago. Her impression of him was right on target, and only grew deeper with time. Their trust had never been broken, and so she still had that honeymoon feeling with him.6
"Honey," She touched him lightly on his back. "I love you."7
Ron looked at her, grinned and gave her a short kiss. "You finished whipping up those eggs? We have to be at the Republican Convention in just an hour."8
Author notes
assgnment was to write a 300 word dialogue about the bond between this couple in this picture. I hope no one is offended by the lighthearted joke about dementia. It is not about the disease at all, just one of those things like when people say they are having a seniors moment. I haven't fleshed out the characters for you, but the guy Jack is actually a young guy in his thirties...this picture shows one of his stable characteristics, which is why it is a joke to them. I mention that because someone thought I should never have even used the word dementia.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Absolutely an A
Nicely written and feelings came across very sincerely.
I enjoyed the way you expressed the love of 30 years by just the glance and impression.
As a fictional work I give this an A!
Prysmatyk -
I don't know how I missed this, but I'm reading it now. I really like what you have done here, anyone could come up with anything and it's really interesting to see what other people gather. You did a wonderful job
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A sweet, warm dialogue, and the couple's relationship reminded me of something you'd see on 80's sitcoms, the sort of perfect American love. Well written.
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I think it was a sweet dialogue, it had warmth and a feeling of everydayness to it
A good write
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I like how you opened it up with a flashback. It was a sweet beginning and I always seem to have trouble with those kinda things so good job!
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hi duana i thought this was interesting but you closed it with he convention may have been better if you left the reader wondering what was going to happen next. the dialogue though is done very well and i enjoyed the lover's little story. like how she finished off his sentences that is so real. couple of typos 3rd line should be they both...and midair be mid-air
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Interesting story!
within this it takes me into the conversation at hand...
while showing understanding.
I did enjoy this very much so!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill -
Hi Raja, this isn't so much an interpretation at the picture as it is just using it as a way to create dialogue.
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Excellent
If this is your first try at fiction, you have done wonderfully is what i would say. We see things differently and different people will come up with different meaning for the picture in question.
Shall I tell you mine? To me it looks more like a novice trying at cooking and having successfully cooked some thing laughs and exclaims in jubilation as his wife hugs him with love and warmth.
This is no flattery, Duana you have really done well for a beginner.
Love from India - Joel -
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