All These Lives - Chapter One - Life Support

All these Lives1

Chapter One2

~Life Support~3

One4

In a hospital room, with the curtains drawn I awaited my Fathers fate.5

Life support had been his only life for the past few months, and now I would finally know if there was any chance of him surviving, or if it was time to flick the switch, however painful it might be.6

I had watched over my father, doing things that my Mother should have been doing, had she had the strength and the love for my Father that she should have had.7

Instead life went along as it did, my Mother and her street work, never home on time for anything. If she was ever home at all.8

In some ways I wondered why my father still stayed with her. We could have done perfectly fine without her, we could have supported ourselves just fine. 9

I guess it is just the rules of love, sometimes however many times that person hurts you, you still stay with them because without there love you would be incomplete. 10

I held my Father's hand in my own. I could feel his pulse still, his heart was still beating despite the fact that he was gone, long dead, and I guess deep down inside I already knew that, I just needed someone to tell me to make it real.11

I wanted so badly for him to open his eyes, to see him in his old worn out rocking chair out back on the patio. A beer in his hand and a smile of gratitude on his face. I wanted to see him look alive again. I wanted my Father back.12

The curtains were drawn back. 13

Our family Doctor's face were filled with tears, her breathing to a slim. She tried to be professional, but soon chocked and stuttered on her words.14

“He... he is... it is to late Karen.”15

I let my Father's hand go, standing up. I would be strong.16

Taking her hand in mine, I nodded , understanding how hard it must have been to tell me the truth.17

“It is okay, things will be alright.” I whispered in a hushed tone,wiping the tears from her eyes.18

I did not care that it was highly unethical, for she had been like a sister to me.19

“God was ready to take him Rose, He will be happier now with Gods love.”20

Nodding, she leaned forward burying her face on my shoulder. He had been like a father to so many. I wondered how many others in the hospital would have a reaction just like her.21

I was prepared though, I was prepared for whatever grief was to come. For I was my Fathers daughter, and he needed me to stay strong right now, not for everyone else, but for myself.22

Two23

They turned the switch of at Eleven Thirty that night.24

I had signed the papers letting them know that it was time, but I could not bring it to myself to stay and watch as his heart stopped beating, as his breathing ceased, and whatever life he might have had was swept away for all eternity, to rest in the world of God.25

I wondered when my Mother would be here, after all she had to say goodbye to my Father. He at least deserved that of her.26

I doubted she would come, it would have been to much of an effort for her. Thinking about the money she would have lost with the time she was here mourning the death of my father. This was her, she was selfish.27

Once they had let him rest, I went into the room. Tears streaming down my face as I looked into his lifeless face. Now sunken, but never to feel pain again. For this I felt grateful. He head been in an immense amount of pain before he had sunk into a coma. 28

I only wanted him to feel peace, but now I felt like a piece of me had been taken away, taken away from me forever, and in the truth there lay many secrets. Secrets that I wished I had of told him, secrets he needed to know, secrets he would never know, and that killed me deep inside.29

I stayed with him that night, even though he long passed on. I slept in the bed next to him, I could not bare myself to leave him there alone. Not until my Mother came and paid her respect.30

I waited a while for this, but by some chance she did come.31

***32

It was Four am, The morning sun would rise in Two hours time, and she would be back on the streets, another night and day away from me.33

She walked into the room, no tears but a slight smile on her face.34

It did not anger me, her smugness. In fact I pitied her for being so heartless, and I felt remorse for my Father who had tried to give her everything she ever could possible want or need, and it never seemed enough.35

I prayed her unborn child would not have to suffer through this world with a Mother like this. 36

I was glad for her decision for adoption, even though it saddened me to think I would have a sibling out there in the world that I would never meet, but at least they might have a chance at a normal life and not one that I have encounter.37

She stepped closer to his bed, her smile slightly fading, her brows furrowed as she looked at me. 38

Her mascara had ran all down her cheeks, he eyes were purple, most likely from a beating. Maybe she had been raped again, she let these things happen to herself often.39

I could not help but reach out for her, I wanted so desperately for her to feel my love, even though I knew she hardly felt any love for me at all. Or maybe I reminded her so much of my Father, maybe that disappointed her.40

“When did he pass Karen?” she asked me, her hand running across my Fathers legs.41

It disturbed me a little as she traveled a little further up, rubbing his thigh.42

I pushed her hand away from his thigh, knowing very well were she would go. Knowing that she was not even in the right state of mind. Of her head on drugs and alcohol, shocked from her attack. 43

She would just about do anything that would make a normal person perverted. I knew what she was like and I knew her secrets. Even though she did not know mine.44

“Eleven – Thirty last night,” I said looking into her eyes, red, swollen and bruised.45

Why did she put herself through it?46

Nodding she lowered her hand onto his crouch and started to rub. Her eyes filled with pleasure.47

I didn't bother taking her hand away this time, I knew I might as well let her have her last time with him, however she wanted to spend it. Yet it still disgust me , her love for the deceased.48

I wanted to look away, I did but something made me keep my eyes on her. Some sudden feeling that she would push it to far, that she might even go further than a simple massage. It scared me.49

“Could you stop now please Mum, It is not really the right thing to do.”50

She looked up at me, tears falling from her eyes.51

“I promised him Karen... I promised him.”52

Her promise did not shock me. In fact it more or less made sense why my Father had fallen in love with her in the first place.53

We were not normal people. At least My parents weren't. I knew that If given the chance I could be someone different, I could have a normal life.54

I had been brought up into a perverted world, and despite my loving father, who had been respected by many, if I really opened up out book of the past, anyone who read it would want to immediately shut it and take me away.55

“Just Not now okay Mum, you have had your fun, now can you please let him rest in peace, I don't particularly want my last memories of my father being you giving him a hand job.”56

Shaking her head again, he wiped her tears and picked up the bag she had placed on the bed beside her.57

“I wont be coming back Karen, you know that don't you?”58

Of course I knew, not that it mattered entirely, but sometimes I wondered what it would have been like to share those Mother to Daughter times with her, to share that love, I knew she did not care for me at all now.59

Standing up, I walked over to her wrapping my arms around her, feeling her warmth, and her coldness, Her breath against my ear.60

She held me tightly, tears sinking into my clothes, and kissed me lightly on the ear.61

“Don't end up like me Karen, you are worth so much more than we ever gave you,” she whispered, letting me go.62

I could not help but feel a few tears falling from my eyes. 63

This was farewell to both my parents.64

She stood up, slugging her bag over her shoulder and lay a small kiss upon my Father's head.65

“I love you Mac... I will always love you”66

With those words said, she turned away and began to walk out the door.67

She was gone, gone forever, I would never see my Mother again.68

“Don't ever end up like me...”69

Three70

Karen: What time do you think you will be heading over here?71

Don: Most likely within the hour, I am arriving at the airport on Ten minutes, the taxi operator said it would take around half an hour to get to your place... is this correct?72

Karen: Yes from the airport... Is David coming?73

Don: David is still at university, he won't be home for a few more days yet, he will be here when you get to Sweden.74

Karen: And you say he is coming to live with us for a few months, in your letter it said he was coming to stay... will he be working with you in the shop?75

Don: Most likely yes, now you can ask questions later, we are about to land and I have to switch my computer of, but I love you Karen and I will see you within the hour, and hour and a half at the latest , alright?76

Karen: Alright Uncle Don, I love you to, safe landing.77

Four78

My uncle Don was my Fathers brother.79

He lived in Sweden for most of his life after my Grandmother had finally passed on, leaving my Father her house and my Uncle her money.80

My Uncle was an artist, a painter and a writer, and he owned his own little shop cafe on the water side.81

When I was young, I remember Uncle Don had been like a second father to me, he changed my life in many ways. Taught me to see the beauty in the simple things and to accept people for who they were no matter what live had instilled upon them.82

I guess in many ways this rubbed of on me, as I leaned to love and respect both my parents for who they were.83

Now as the funeral was to come, he had offered me a place to stay with him in Sweden.84

We would leave the house as it was, so that if I ever needed to come back to it, I could when I turned eighteen.85

Though I highly doubted there would be a reason that once I left, I would be coming back.86

I would go and live in a beautiful country, along side tranquil water and friendly people, people who were normal and enjoyed living there lives. Not people like here, who lined of paychecks and spent many nights wasted on drugs and alcohol. Where teenagers like me got stabbed every time someone gave them a sidewards glance.87

I did not want that life at all.88

Instead I wanted to be my like my uncle, I wanted to be an artist. I wanted to learn how to appreciate life and all it had to offer, rather then be sheltered my Necrophiliac Mother and My Father who's mind had faded into the realms of darkness.89

The only thing that had driven me insane thinking about was this man that he called David.90

I had only heard of him once in the letter Uncle Don had sent me. He had mentioned that his good friends son would be coming to live with him for a few months while his parents were away in another country.91

I had wondered often since then what he would look like, sound like and strangely smell like. Who this man actually was. Curiosity would have the better of me, and before I knew it I had so many more questions I wanted to ask.92

Those questions would have to wait, for now there was the more important issues of farewelling my Father, But once I was in Sweden with my Uncle and David, Nothing would hold me back.