The Apparition Man Chapter one - Life- Part Two- Edited

The Apparition Man1

Tennille Chase 2

Chapter One – Life3

Part Two4

In the ambulance, the lights shone depressingly, they shone in my eyes, making it hard for me to see and to concentrate on the pain.5

Not that I wanted to, but it did make me forget some of it at least, but not all of it. It did not take my mind of my failed attempt of suicide.6

The man in the front messaged the hospital.7

"Patient now in stable condition, regular heart beat and breathing, slight knock to the head, and minor concussion, bruises on upper abdomen, and is bleeding from several severe wounds on her arms and lower legs."8

My mother sat beside me, I watched as her eyes darted towards me. Stirring, she cupped my hand in her own, tears of relief and fear in her eyes, streaming down her red, flushed cheeks.9

I tried to move my head, but could not, the pain being to unbearable. It felt as if a knife had been jabbed into my throat and had been left there awaiting the moment that someone would come along and wrench it out.10

Like they would cut me, right to my upper back, were an immense pain lay, sending ripples of vibrations throughout my nervous system, like someone had ripped out my spine, or part of it was left, poking out from my back. 11

I felt my arm twitching with pins and needles as I lowered it to my naked thigh, underneath the sheet that was wrapped around my cold, wet body. 12

I moved my hand up towards my stomach and then to my breast, realizing in embarrassment that I had not been clothed after the attempt.13

I looked up at my mother, whose attention had shifted to the road outside, and squeezed her hand tightly.14

She turned around, wiping her nose on her sleeve, and pulled the sheet up, tight around my body, so as no air could seep in.15

"I'm naked mum," I some-how managed to whisper. I thought that it was strange, that I was so concerned about exposure to strangers, especially when my body was in so much pain.16

However, I knew that I had been exposed to another male, or males, depending on the ambulance crew. I had been exposed to someone other than Kerry, and for this, I was enraged.17

Immediately I began to panic, what if they had seen the cuts, my bruises, or Kerry's name carved into my thigh. What would Kerry think, to know that another man had seen my naked body?18

"Mum I need my clothes," I whispered, trying to get up from the stretcher they had laid me on.19

She tried to lay me back down, "You will have to wait till we get inside the hospital love, you had no clothes with you."20

I tried to sit up again, knowing very well that I had left my clothes on the Jetty. "On the jetty, with the note I left them there, we have to go back and get my clothes."21

"No Reidy, when we get to the hospital they will get you some clothes to wear, until I go home and get some of your own, so just relax, it's all right."22

I pulled the sheet tightly around me, beginning to feel nervous, shaking with anxiety. "Tell the man to turn around and get my clothes."23

My mother stared at me confused at my demand. "There were no clothes Reidy, I just now told you that, and if there were don't you think you would be clothed by now, so don't be so self conscious, and no one is looking at you or watching you, all right?"24

I shook my head, pain seeping through my veins. " I'm naked, I need some clothes, they are watching me, they have all seen me, they will make Kerry angry, and they already have, I know they have."25

The man sitting close to mum, who I had not seen until now, looked over at her, holding a syringe in his hand. I pretended not to notice, gripping lightly onto the bed.26

"Reidy, love, Kerry is not here anymore, we have been through this, he is not alive anymore, so you can't keep blaming and regretting the things you say and do, in case you think he might see you, you have to move on sweet heart."27

Still holding her hand, I pinched it hard, making her flinch and pull her hand away in pain.28

"Kerry is as much alive as you and I both are, I hate knowing that I didn't succeed with dying, and being with him. And now here I am, stuck in this shit hole of an existence, with a pack of pretentious self absorbed skeptics."29

I hit the stretcher, immediately regretting it, as an immense amount of pain, flew up my arm and throughout my body, causing my every nerve to shiver. "JESUS", I screamed, grabbing my mother's hand, gripping it tightly, trying to rid myself of the agonizing pain.30

The man in the chair, who had been sitting close to my mother, stood up, walked over and whispered something in her ear. My mother nodded, as the man advanced towards me.31

Immediate panic hit the core of my heart, and it began racing, pumping the blood throughout my body. I stretched out my arm in agony, knowing what was about to happen, and scratched my mother's arm in an attempt of support.32

Causing only more pain to shoot throughout my arm and shoulder, but this time I did not care. I tried to sit up again, this time the pain was excruciating.33

"GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME YOU BASTARD." I screamed, pulling the sheet up over my face and the rest of my body, shaking violently, my fear of needles, almost causing me to be sick. 34

I lay back down attempting to scrunch myself up into a ball, my arms and legs in agony, I couldn't let him touch me. "GO AWAY,GET AWAY FROM ME." I screamed, as he lay his hand upon me. I shook him of violently, trying to salvage myself from the pain, I was about to encounter, from God knows what medication he was about to inject me with, trying to protect myself.35

"No, you can't touch me, go away," I cried, as he asked my mother to hold me down. 36

She nodded holding my arm tightly, as he injected the medication into my arm with speed, it was all over before I had a chance to squirm or attempt another escape from his grasp.37

Slowly I stopped struggling, as I felt the blood pumping through my veins. The tears streaming down my sore cheeks, I began to feel drowsy, and suddenly a little nauseous, as my breathing and heartbeat went back to its normal rate, and pace.38

"I hate you, " I whispered, closing my eyes my body feeling slightly numb, my mind delirious. I had been drugged, I could tell that, a familiar sense of awareness, as if I remembered this from a time long before, it was a familiar sensation.39

The man's arm lay rested on my arm, as he reached for a pulse, twisting my wrist softly. I watched him, not in any mood to be pushing him away, and even if I wanted to, my body would not allow it.40

I closed my eyes, telling myself that it was easier to watch him, as he watched me, scanning my body like the pervert he was, as they all are, 41

Like sick perverts, all men are,who make detailed examinations of womens bodies for there own sick pleasures. I hated them all, and I especially hated my mother.42

Why could they have just let me be, let me drown in myself awareness, my insanity, my need to be with Kerry. 43

I swore if ever got out of hospital deemed sane, I would do it again, and again, and again, until I finally succeeded, until I made Kerry proud. 44

I hated the fact that these people were so invasive, could they not see the unhappiness that devoured my every existence.45

I felt cold and bare, not even having the strength to cover myself anymore. My tears had stopped, I was a mess. Suddenly it all started to drown out, the noise the light, I felt sleepy and relaxed I could not say a word; I just lay there, silently.46

Emotionally shattered and broken.