“Another culinary triumph, Princess.”1
“Hmph.”2
“Can you repeat that?”3
“Do you have fun mocking me? No, don’t give me that look. You must seriously get some kind of kick out of my humiliation.”4
“Everyone needs a hobby, babe, and you’re just so willing to provide.”5
“Fuck you.”6
“Was that an offer? We got time before we head over to Vessie’s. Well, if we wanna be fashionably late, anyway.”7
“Hardy har har, Philip.”8
“I was serious, Princess.”9
“Shep was right about you. Times like these, I know Shep was right about you. You are undoubtedly the single most insufferable man on the face of the planet.”10
“Would y’ kindly refrain from mentionin’ dear old Shep before we appear in public? You know what th’ rat bastard does t’ my temper.”11
“Cor sounded really fantastic earlier, didn’t he?”12
“Don’ change the subject.”13
“The book’s out on Tuesday. I promised we’d get a copy, before we left. It was clever, timing the release like that… though I don’t think the book tour goes past the local places. The title’s a ridiculous pun. ‘Kant Do.’ Cute, but you—” 14
“Rachel.”15
“—kind of get the feeling he’s—”16
“Rambling doesn’t become you.”17
“Pardon me, sir, for being unbecoming.”18
“I should bloody well hope so.”19
“Right, that’s it. You and me. Right now.”20
“Sex ala carte? Well, all right, but if we’re late t’ Vespira’s you’re gonna take the blame.”21
“To hell with you, Philip.”22
“Bit late t’ jump on the bandwagon now, babe.”23
“Very funny.”24
“Well, I thought so. D’you reckon the brick shithouse’ll be there tonight?”25
“The brick—oh, you mean Wyler? That old bastard? I’d expect so. He is dating Vespira.”26
“That’s a crime against nature.”27
“Sure is. Let me fix your tie. Honestly, you’re dating me, and yet you can’t straighten a tie. Here… How he got into her pants—”28
“I want to be able to eat tonight, babe—”29
“—is another story completely, and…don’t you give me that look! I mean it, if he turns up with a broken nose, I’m going to put you in the dog house and mail you to Australia. He might not be exactly competent, but he’s… he’s… he’s dating Alex’s landlady. And his brother’s wife’s—”30
“You honestly think I’d beat his face in just because he’s the world’s biggest asshole? Really, Princess, I’m insulted. And Vespira—” 31
“Vespira is the least of our worries, and you know it.”32
“Ah, the innocence of youth.”33
“Bite me.”34
“Rachel, you know better than to tempt me.”35
“Do I? Now, come on. Out the door with you.”36
“Ever been told yer even hotter when yer pissed?”37
“Fairly certain I have. Ever been told you’re a pain in ass?”38
“Christ, what a question. Every day. By you, I might add. Sometimes twice.”39
“…Philip?”40
“I love you too, Rachel.”
Author notes
My big ol' brute of a character, Philip, and his lady friend, Rachel (created by a friend of mine.) Constructive critique strongly encouraged. ^^
A contest entry
- xxx Lovey Dubbey xxx by ilove2write.
185 points, ended February 28, 2008, 19 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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You have a gift for giving characters strong voices, I can see that!
Your sense of dialogue is really great. Well-paced and very realistic! The only thing I can suggest, since this is so well-written, is to choose a slightly larger font - this one was a little tough on my eyes! *laughs* But the entire piece is really wonderful! Best of luck in the contest, and welcome to Storywrite! 
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Thankyou very much!
(Sorry I'm so late in replying--my computer's been having seizures.)
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